Flintstones, The
Writers: Steven E. De Souza
Genres: Comedy, Family, Fantasy
THE FLINTSTONES
Written by STEVEN E. DE SOUZA
Based on characters created by
JOE BARBERA & WILLIAM HANNA
Early Draft - September 1987
FOR EDUCATIONAL
PURPOSES ONLY
THE FLINTSTONES
FADE IN:
1 EXT. SLATE QUARRY - DAY 1
FRED FLINTSTONE, archetypical Everyman, sits atop his
faithful heavy-equipment dinosaur, cranking the winch
that makes the mighty beast rip and tear into the quarry
wall.
2 THE QUARRY FOREMAN 2
looks down at his wristwatch. Well... actually, it's a
wrist sundial. And it's magic time... quittin' time...
Millerock time!
Now the foreman turns from his watch to a steam whistle
bird, and yanks its tail. The BIRD SQUAWKS the end of
the workday --
3 ANOTHER ANGLE 3
FRED
YABBA DABBA DO -- !
Fred happily discards his hard hat, leaps out of the
canvas-roofed cab on the dino's back, slides down the
tail and bounces right into the seat of his stone and
timber car! He gets up to a running start with the only
motor (his feet), slows to allow a "time clock" dinosaur
to punch his stone timecard, and then he's trotting back
up to speed and out of the gate! MUSIC comes UP and
OVER --
MUSIC (V.O.)
'Flintstones,
Meet the Flintstones,
They're a modern
Stone age fam-i-ly --'
-- And so forth, as for the first time in "his-tor-y" we
see the Flintstones' OPENING CREDITS live!
4 TIGHT ON A MAILBOX 4
reading "FLINTSTONE." We WIDEN as Fred SKIDS to a halt
in the driveway of his three-bedroom ranch cave. A
moment later, WILMA and PEBBLES run out -- both looking
just like they should -- and get into the car. A beat
behind them are the Flintstone pets, Dino and the
saber-toothed cat.
Fred pauses, looks around... HONKS his HORN... BARNEY,
BETTY and BAM-BAM come out of the neighboring house, hop
in!
(CONTINUED)
2.
4 CONTINUED: 4
Fred's feet slap on the street as the car starts
up --
MUSIC (V.O.)
'From the
Town of Bedrock
They're a page right
Out of his-tor-y -- '
5 DRIVE-IN MOVIE THEATRE - DUSK 5
Fred and company pull in. He takes a giant sea shell
"speaker" off of its wooden stand and hooks it to his
car door. He leans over, puts his arm around Wilma.
(In the back seat, Dino pops his head up, tearing through
the canvas top.) Dino picks up Pebbles and Bam-Bam and
puts them on his head for a better view. CAMERA ZOOMS IN
ON the drive-in screen and the words that America has
waited twenty-five years to see in 70mm Dolby(TM) drop-
your-popcorn reality:
THE FLINTSTONES
And as the MAIN CREDITS ROLL, we --
DISSOLVE TO:
6 AN EERIE CARBONIFEROUS FOREST - DAWN 6
Dew drips from strange multi-leafed plants. Giant
DRAGONFLIES BUZZ AND HUM to and fro. Bubbles rise from
a still pond, and weird lungfish move onto the land.
(The third one out carries a little suitcase.)
CAMERA PANS PAST the lungfish TO a muddy shore. With a
DRAMATIC MUSICAL STING, we DISCOVER a set of strange,
hideous clawprints. The CAMERA FOLLOWS these, then
WIDENS to reveal the make of these footprints: A seven-
foot tall and fearful beast we will call the Xenosaurus.
It looks around menacingly. (Oddly, it's carrying a
canvas sack, but we don't stress this.)
Suddenly a garbage truck appears out of nowhere and runs
over the Xenosaurus.
7 NEW ANGLE 7
Dazed, the Xenosaurus gets up. As it does, we realize
that we aren't deep in some primeval forest, but on the
shoulder of a gravel highway. A stone road sign reads
BEDROCK 1/2 MILE. ROCK VEGAS, BABYLON & EDEN NEXT THREE
EXITS. Now, the CAMERA CRANES UP ABOVE the sign and
we see -- Bedrock!
(CONTINUED)
3.
7 CONTINUED: 7
Nestled incongruously in a savage landscape, the charming
protosuburbia gleams in the dawn's early Spielberg light.
The Xenosaurus grabs its sack and some silverware spills
out. Then it runs off into the bushes and out of sight.
8 WITH THAT GARBAGE TRUCK 8
It reaches the crest of a hill where there's a "WELCOME
TO BEDROCK" billboard which bears greetings from the
Rotary Club, the Chamber of Commerce, and (of course)
The Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes. The garbage truck
guys drop their feet down through the floorboard and
trot over the rise, coast down to the street below.
The driver yanks a wooden brake and the truck stops, and
the rear guys hop off. One of them waves to --
9 A MILKMAN 9
who returns the wave, then takes a four-pack of stone
bottles out of his milk truck, heads towards a doorway.
As the milkman drops off the milk, he passes a big
TORTOISE with trash cans on its back. The Tortoise
nods familiarly to the milkman, then it waddles down the
curb, CAMERA FOLLOWING. The garbage men take the cans
off the Tortoise's back, dump them into the truck.
10 REAR OF TRUCK 10
-- revealing that the back of the truck is actually a
giant-jawed CREATURE strapped onto the chassis. The
garbage men dump the cans into its maw... it happily
swallows the works, licks its lips, BELCHES.
11 BACK TO SCENE 11
The garbagemen slam the cans back on the Tortoise, who
winces as they drive off.
TORTOISE
(under his breath)
You can forget about a tip for
Christmas...
It waddles back up the lawn... passing by a wooden "lawn
timer" box which now pops open.
Inside the box is a "ROOSTERSAURUS" which CROWS and flaps
its wings. The motion of the wings knocks loose two
round stones which roll down two long troughs a la Rube
Goldberg...
4.
12 FOLLOWING THE ROUND STONES 12
They reach the ends of their respective paths, dislodging
a stick... that releases a coiled rope which in turn
spins a turntable which holds a little wooly mammoth. As
it begins to spin around, it squirts water out of its
snout.
Elsewhere on the lawn, other spinning MAMMOTHS repeat
this performance. After a moment, they gradually slow
their revolutions. The one closest to the house
scrunches its trunk with a GROAN.
LITTLE MAMMOTH
(sotto)
Oh, my aching sinuses...
13 INT. FLINTSTONES' BEDROOM - DAY 13
WIDEN FROM the windowsill, where a little sea shell
hearing aid trumpet AMPLIFIES another ROOSTERSAURUS
"COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO" into the ear of a "CLOCK RADIO
WOODPECKER." The Woodpecker yawns, gets out of bed,
puts a timecard in a little clock. Then it turns
and begins pecking on a BELL, which RINGS PIERCINGLY.
14 INT. BEDROOM - NEW ANGLE 14
Two shapes are visible under the bedclothes: One is a
great SNORING bulge, the other is a svelte and lithe
shape. As the BELL continues RINGING, the larger bulge
GRUNTS, MOANS, pulls a pillow over its head, and then
finally gropes under the bed for a slipper. The slipper
is thrown without aiming --
15 THE WOODPECKER 15
ducks just in time. It wipes its forehead nervously.
RADIO WOODPECKER
(sotto)
I hate this job... There's not
even a health plan...
He staggers back up to his perch, and then notices for
the first time that the dial on the side is pointed not
to "ALARM" but to "ALARM & RADIO." The WOODPECKER SIGHS,
looks over at the bed where SNORING is still emanating.
Then the bird swings a little telescope around to point
out the window.
16 WOODPECKER'S TELESCOPE - IRIS SHOT 16
as the 'SCOPE PANS and FOCUSES, finally SETTLING ON a
distant stone building marked RADIO STATION B-ROK.
(CONTINUED)
5.
16 CONTINUED: 16
Perched on top of the wooden radio tower are a monkey
and an octopus. The monkey holds up cue cards which the
octopus reads, and then waves nautical semaphore flags.
17 BACK TO SCENE 17
Our WOODPECKER squints, CLEARS his THROAT.
RADIO WOODPECKER
(deeper "on-air" voice)
Good morning, Bedrock. This is
station B-R-O-K with the morning
weather and news...
18 IN THE BED 18
The big bulge GRUNTS and MUTTERS a bit, then one hand
gropes around, finds the curvaceous form under the
neighboring covers... feels it tentatively... then
the fingers "walk" upwards...
RADIO WOODPECKER (O.S.)
It will be fair and mild through
the weekend, continuing for the
next eight hundred years, followed
by cooling breezes and a protracted
ice age...
Those walking fingers have reached the top edge of the
covers... now they pull them down revealing the owner's
face... the face of Fred, his eyes at half-mast, his
face covered in fashionable "Bedrock Vice" stubble.
FRED
(with genuine charm)
Wil-ma. Wil-ma? How about a
great big good morning kiss for
your Freddy-weddy?
And he pulls the covers down to reveal -- DINO, who is
immediately "YI-YI-YI-YI-ING," hopping all over the bed
and showering Fred with sloppy kisses.
FRED
Dino! Dino, cut it out -- !
RADIO WOODPECKER (O.S.)
In the news, Bedrock civic and
business leaders met yesterday to
discuss the growing kibble crisis.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
6.
18 CONTINUED: 18
RADIO WOODPECKER (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Ecological activist Ralph Naderock
warned that if new supplies of
kibble are not found, our animal-
powered civilization itself may be
threatened.
By now Dino's affection attack has knocked both master
and pet to the floor in a jumble of bedclothes, asses
and elbows. Dino begins to roll Fred across the room
like a seal playing with a ball.
FRED
Dino, that's enough -- here, look,
Daddy has a nice dino bone for
you, just please stop it --
Fred has now backed up to a dresser, where he grabs a
brightly-colored box labeled "PURINROCK DINO TREATS."
Fred holds it up -- Dino gets up on two legs, eager for
the treat -- Fred shakes the box... alas, nothing comes
out.
DINO "YI-YI'S" again, propelling Fred into the next room.
19 INT. FLINTSTONE KITCHEN - DAY 19
Five-year-old PEBBLES GIGGLES at the table as Fred and
Dino tumble into the room like Frank Buck and a lion.
Wilma turns at the noise. One look at her and we under-
stand Fred's romantic turn.
RADIO WOODPECKER (O.S.)
In other news, Bedrock police
report that the Xenosaurus has
struck again! Yes, the fiercesome
intruder was sighted in the
Bedrock Hills for the third time
this month. Outlying shops and
residencies report extensive
looting and property destruction...
WILMA
Fred, stop playing with Dino and
sit down. Your breakfast's
getting cold.
Saying this, Wilma puts a huge egg at Fred's place.
Meanwhile, Fred manages to get to his feet, holds out
one arm to keep Dino at bay. Fred does a big "take,"
looking out the window --
(CONTINUED)
7.
19 CONTINUED: 19
FRED
(throwing open the
door)
Oooh, Dino, look -- there's a
nice big dino bone laying out on
the front lawn -- !
Pause. Dino gives him a big look as if to say, "Oh,
yeah?"
FRED
(trying again)
-- Gosh, look at that adorable
little female dino --
"YI-YI-YI-YI," DINO is out the door like a rocket. Fred
cackles, slams it shut, then sits down at the table.
FRED
-- That animal's gonna kill me
with kindness. Do you know we're
out of dino treats?
WILMA
So is everybody else in Bedrock.
That kibble crisis is getting
worse every day.
She puts two giant slices of bread into a toaster. Two
claw-like devices hold the toast, pulling it out of
sight.
WILMA
I'm afraid Dino's going to have to
manage on leftovers from Pebbles
and me.
FRED
(sitting down)
And what's wrong with my leftovers?
WILMA
I'll let you know when I see
some.
RADIO WOODPECKER (O.S.)
(finishing up)
... Scientists from B.C.
University report that the
footprints of the Xenosaurus match
no known animal.
(CONTINUED)
8.
19 CONTINUED: (2) 19
PEBBLES
Mommy, is the bad Ze-ze-zenosaurus
gonna get me and eat me up?
WILMA
Of course not, baby.
FRED
That's right, sweetheart. The
only thing that's gonna eat you
up is -- me!
And he grabs her and bites her and tickles her.
PEBBLES
(giggling, calming)
I'm still a little scared...
FRED
Pebbles, don't worry. These
stories are very exaggerated.
Like, you know, the boogyman?
There's no such thing as a huge,
inhuman reptile that attacks
without warning --
WHAM! Dino reappears, bounding through the window
and knocking Fred onto the floor. Once again Dino is
happily licking and loving and cuddling his callously
unresponsive owner. Fred struggles to avoid the
slurping tongue, pulls himself up to the window sill,
looks out.
FRED
-- Oh, look, everybody, the mailman
is here --
"YI-YI-YI-YI!" DINO buys it again, runs to the door,
lets himself out. This time Fred puts a chair against
the door.
Meanwhile, Wilma turns at the sound of the TOASTER
POPPING UP. We see that the "claws" we saw earlier were
the actual claws of a LOBSTER in a little fireproof suit
who is tucked inside the toaster. As Wilma takes the
toast, the Lobster blows on his claws, wincing, then
looks TOWARDS the CAMERA.
LOBSTER
Well, it beats working in a
seafood restaurant...
(CONTINUED)
9.
19 CONTINUED: (3) 19
FRED
(taking the toast)
Thanks, Wilma...
Fred slaps jelly on the toast, takes a big bite, and then
something outside the window catches his eye.
20 HIS POV - STREET 20
A paperboy on a wood-and-stone bicycle is coming rapidly
towards the house. In the bike's basket is a stack of
dried, rock-hard clay tablets.
21 BACK TO SCENE 21
Fred leans out the window, waving his hands.
FRED
Arnold! Arnold! Don't aim at
the house -- please, not at the
house --
WHAM! Fred ducks back just as the stone newspaper slams
into the window frame, SMASHING a FLOWERPOT, taking out
a chunk of wall, and continuing diagonally through the
kitchen and out another window. Fred follows this
action in time to see --
22 HIS DRIVEWAY - THROUGH THE OTHER WINDOW 22
The rock paper drops like a foul shot, rips through the
canvas roof of Fred's car, and then bangs a huge dent
in the hood.
23 BACK TO SCENE 23
Fred sighs, turns back to his breakfast.
WILMA
Lucky it wasn't the Sunday paper.
FRED
(slight smile)
Yeah. What else can go wrong?
He slices through the big egg with his knife -- releasing
a baby PTERODACTYL which SQUAWKS and flaps, knocking Fred
over as it takes off through the window.
DISSOLVE TO:
24 EXT. FLINTSTONE DRIVEWAY - LATER 24
Fred -- now dressed for work -- is forlornly trying to
fix his car.
(CONTINUED)
10.
24 CONTINUED: 24
In the neighboring driveway, Wilma and Betty pile the
kids into Betty's car.
BETTY
(wiping their mouths)
Come on, kids. Time for nursery
school.
PEBBLES
'Bye-bye, Daddy.
FRED
'Bye, little sweetheart.
(as Wilma clears
her throat)
'Bye, big sweetheart.
Fred kisses them both and they drive off. Fred sighs,
tries to stretch the canvas roof edges close enough to
stitch. Nearby, Dino struggles to drag the stone news-
paper inside the house. The twin headlines are, of
course, KIBBLE CRISIS GROWS and MYSTERIOUS XENOSAURUS
STRIKES AGAIN.
Suddenly a pink flamingo appears over the hedge. As its
mouth opens and closes, it appears to be talking, but
the voice is that of --
BARNEY
Nice morning, huh, Fred?
FRED
What's nice about it?
BARNEY
Heh, hey. That Arnold's got a
real arm on him, don't he?
Now we see that Barney is holding the flamingo's stiff
legs which he scissors, making the bird's beak trim the
hedge.
FRED
This is the third ragtop this year
... say, shouldn't you be at work?
BARNEY
Ah, well, that appliance store and
me, we kinda had a little
adjustment --
FRED
You got fired, didn't ya?
(CONTINUED)
11.
24 CONTINUED: (2) 24
BARNEY
Fred, don't start on me again. I
donno, I'm just not a nine to
five guy. I got dreams, Fred.
Ideas --
FRED
Yeah, I know, I know, those
crazy inventions of yours. Be
honest with me, Barn... tell me
one thing you invented that
really caught on.
BARNEY
I invented fire.
FRED
(pause)
You invented fire?
BARNEY
I told you that, Fred. But the
coal conglomerate ripped me off.
The case is still in court, but
meanwhile I got lotsa other
ideas --
FRED
Yeah, but did any one of them
ever put bread on the table? How
long are you and Betty gonna live
on those penny-ante royalties you
get?
Fred pulls his car hood off of its wooden hinges,
examines it with dismay.
FRED
If you ask me, pal, you're just
blowing smoke up your own
volcano...
BARNEY
Maybe, Fred. But first...
He uses the flamingo's jaws to snatch the car hood
from Fred's surprised grasp.
BARNEY
Let me try some of that smoke on
your car.
CUT TO:
12.
25 INT. BARNEY'S GARAGE/WORKSHOP - DAY 25
We can still see Fred's car in the neighboring driveway.
(We can also see Dino, who drags the newspaper on a
bit more, then collapses from exhaustion).
Barney's garage is cluttered with all kinds of odds and
ends, plus various inventions and scale models in
different stages of completion. (Interestingly, a
number of these anticipate Leonardo da Vinci's work).
Many of the models are made of a strange celadon green
material.
Fred watches, skeptical, as Barney presses the car hood
into some soft clay between two big blocks of stone.
BARNEY
(as he works)
-- See, the first step, we make
a mold of the old car hood, smooth
out the dent in the clay --
He tosses the original car hood aside with a crash.
Then, moving rapidly, he starts heaving a variety of
ingredients into the reverse imprint of the car hood.
BARNEY
-- Add some lava granules... some
woca leaves... juice from two
coo-coo berries...
FRED
(impressed)
Two coo-coo berries? You made of
money, Barney?
BARNEY
Anything for a pal, Fred -- a
lump of coal... bamboo sawdust...
eucalyptus sap... a touch of the
La Brea tarbrush -- and -- voila.
Barney dips a finger in this mess, "tastes" it;
satisfied, he yanks on a hanging rope and a giant rock
weight slams down on the whole mess, making Fred jump out
of his skin.
26 NEW ANGLE 26
Fred is caked with dust. He coughs and spits.
FRED
Barney, why don't you try inventing
a brain for yourself! Look at what
you did to --
(CONTINUED)
13.
26 CONTINUED: 26
He stops as Barney cranks up the weight on a ratchet,
proudly lifts out a perfect (though greenish) duplicate
of the car hood. As Fred examines it, impressed despite
himself, we...
CUT TO:
27 BETTY'S CAR - TRAVELING 27
The two kids are in the back seat. Somehow both of the
kids' faces are messy again. Working together with
beautiful precision, they are carefully dismantling the
rear armrests and door handles.
BETTY
(in mid-speech,
driving)
... Oh, it's not that I'm complaining,
Wilma. I mean, Barney's sweet, but...
well, he's just not cut out to punch
a clock. And he's such a dreamer,
you think he ever once picked up a
hammer and chisel and tried to
balance a checkbook?
They pull up in front of a pleasant-looking simple little
nursery school. MRS. GRANITE, a pleasant-looking 65, sees
them from the schoolyard, waves while Wilma and Betty un-
load the kids.
BETTY
No, Barney just keeps looking for
that coo-coo berry pie in the sky,
and I don't want to pop his balloon
by talking about the price of
mastodon ribs.
She wipes off Bam-Bam's mouth with a handkerchief. Wilma
does the same with Pebbles and then they kiss the kids,
who immediately run into the schoolyard.
MRS. GRANITE
(approaching)
Mrs. Rubble, Mrs. Flintstone, I
wanted to thank you personally.
BETTY
You're welcome, Mrs. Granite. But
we wipe their mouths every day.
MRS. GRANITE
No, no, I mean for all your wonderful
support the past few years. It's
parents like you that make me think
twice about retiring.
(CONTINUED)
14.
27 CONTINUED: 27
From the schoolyard comes the sudden sound of KIDS QUAR-
RELING and then a THUD and some CRYING.
MRS. GRANITE
On the other hand...
Wilma and Betty laugh.
WILMA
We're really going to miss you,
too, Mrs. Granite.
MRS. GRANITE
Have you found another school for
the children?
BETTY
We're still shopping around.
WILMA
Fortunately, we're both --
Wilma and Betty straighten... salute.
WILMA & BETTY
(they've done this
routine before)
-- Professional shoppers!
As the three women laugh, we...
CUT TO:
28 EXT. BEDROCK STREET - TRAVELLING - DAY 28
Fred and Barney drive along. (Behind them, the same
houses and palms seem to be going by... duplex, palm...
split level, two palms... duplex, palm).
Barney grins, gestures towards the front of the car.
BARNEY
Not bad, eh? After it cures for an
hour or so, it's solid as a rock.
FRED
Okay, you fixed a dented hood. But
you call that a living? Face it,
pal, this is the Stone Age, and it's
a dino eat dino world. You want my
advice?
BARNEY
Did I ever?
(CONTINUED)
15.
28 CONTINUED: 28
FRED
You stick with me today, cruise on
down to the quarry and fill out a
job application. I'm a big man
there, Barney --
BARNEY
You're a big man anywhere, Fred --
FRED
I'm serious, pal. Me and Mr. Slate
are just like this --
He takes his hand off the wheel to hold up two fingers...
ends up swerving instead.
FRED
-- just like that. I know, I know
-- you're not a clock-punching guy
-- but face it, Barney -- it's time
to grow up and put your nose to the
grindstone, batten down the hatches
and join the ratasaurus race with
the rest of us.
(meaningfully)
It's time to retire those dreams.
Barney looks glum, doesn't say anything. Suddenly Fred
pulls over, stops the car.
FRED
Barney. Look.
29 WIDE SHOT 29
They're at the crest of a high wide hill.
BARNEY
Hey. Lava Lane.
FRED
Remember the old days, Barn? We
used to race our go-carts here to
impress the girls.
BARNEY
(wistful)
Yeah, those were the days... we
usta dream about coming back here
some day with a real car and goin'
for the goldrock...!
A look from one to another, and then down the hill...
Fred gets a malicious grin on his face.
(CONTINUED)
16.
29 CONTINUED: 29
BARNEY
Fred... I thought you said it was
time to retire those old dreams.
FRED
Hey. Since when do I have to be
consistent?
The two pals laugh, and then with a whoop they begin
pedalling like mad. They go over the top, gravity takes
over and they are flying past that billboard with all the
Rotary Club welcomes on it. But now we see a different
sort of welcome, as a POLICE CAR ZOOMS out from behind it.
30 POLICE CAR - CLOSER 30
Inside are SERGEANT FELDSPAR and his rookie partner,
OFFICER GRAVEL. Cackling with anticipation, Feldspar
opens a box marked radar detector. Out pops a little
bird in a police helmet. It has a stopwatch (actually,
stop-sundial) around its neck. Feldspar points -- the
bird salutes -- takes off!
31 FRED AND BARNEY 31
BARNEY
(spotting the cops)
Oh-oh! Fred, slow down -- !
Suddenly both Fred and Barney see the RADAR BIRD flying
alongside them. It checks its stopwatch, writes a note
to itself. Fred is so preoccupied he doesn't notice
as --
32 THE POLICE CAR 32
cuts in front of Fred. Fred SLAMS on the "BRAKES," sits
helplessly as Feldspar gets out, walks over, grinning.
FELDSPAR
Well, Flintstone, looks like today's
the day.
FRED
Sergeant Feldspar, I... I wasn't
speeding... honest...
Fred reaches down to the floorboard as he speaks...
33 ANGLE ON FLOORBOARD 33
There's a box there marked RADAR BUSTER.
(CONTINUED)
17.
33 CONTINUED: 33
FELDSPAR (O.S.)
Forget it, Flintstone. This time
I got you dead to rights --
Fred opens the box. A scary-looking winged reptile
sticks out its head, smacks its hungry lips.
34 BACK TO SCENE 34
Confident, Feldspar jerks a thumb at the Radar Bird,
turns to his rookie partner.
FELDSPAR
Gravel. Get me the radar reading
and I'll show you how we deal with
scofflaws.
Gravel nods, steps towards the bird. The bird checks
its stopwatch... and then it notices the flying lizard
which is hovering nearby, licking its lips.
RADAR BIRD
Whoa! Wings, do your stuff -- !
The Radar Bird flies away at a hundred miles an hour,
leaving a cloud of dust and the stopwatch behind.
Feldspar catches the watch, startled.
FRED
Well, Sergeant, if you don't have
a radar reading, I guess we'll --
(quickly)
-- justbeonourway -- !
A new cloud of dust appears as Fred ROARS away.
FELDSPAR
Flintstone! Flintstone, come back
here -- !
CUT TO:
35 EXT. BEDROCK BUTCHER SHOP - DAY 35
Betty and Wilma have just pulled up. We notice that next
to their legal spot, a big limousine is parked in a "no
parking" zone. But our law-abiding Betty in the next
space now drops a stone coin in a parking meter.
36 CLOSE ON THE METER 36
Inside the window we see a LITTLE BIRD. It "bites" the
coin to check it, then turns over an egg timer.
(CONTINUED)
18.
36 CONTINUED: 36
LITTLE BIRD
(with a sigh)
Four years in accounting school
for this...
37 INT. BUTCHER SHOP - DAY 37
It's absolutely mobbed. Customers push past each other
with armloads of food. Gigantic cuts of meat hang from
above or are on display behind the counter. MORRIS THE
BUTCHER looks up from the chaos and manages a weak smile
for the girls.
BETTY
Morris, what on earth is going on?
You giving away Bronto filets?
MORRIS
Ah, my two loveliest customers.
It's this darn kibble crisis, Mrs.
R... people are buying everything
I got to feed their dinos...
MRS. SLATE
Young man, if you're through
flirting, I'd like some service.
38 NEW ANGLE 38
REVEALING MRS. SLATE, who stands there, impatient and
overdressed.
MORRIS
Of course, Mrs. Slate. Just take
a number.
Wilma senses the tension, quickly steps forward to break
it with a smile.
WILMA
Ah, hello, Mrs. Slate.
Morris reacts with relief. Mrs. Slate reacts with a
blank look.
WILMA
(prompting)
We met at the quarry picnic?
MRS. SLATE
Oh, of course. Mrs. Flintstein.
She turns her back to Wilma, forces her way towards the
counter again. Wilma burns.
(CONTINUED)
19.
38 CONTINUED: 38
MORRIS
Ladies, the meat's not getting any
fresher. Mrs. R, what'll it be?
BETTY
Oh, I'd like some ground mammoth
patties and uh... some dodo
drumsticks.
MORRIS
Gino? We got any dodo bird?
GINO turns, looks at his end of the counter.
GINO
There's one left -- and it's the
last one!
MORRIS
Good.
(handing him the note)
Give it to Mrs. Rubble along with
this.
Gino nods, smiling. He picks up a crate, begins to load
it with giant fryer parts and several manhole-sized meat
patties.
MORRIS
(turning to Betty)
How about you, Mrs. F?
WILMA
I just need a few things for Fred.
MORRIS
'Fred...'?
(calling into the back)
David! Herman! Get Rob and BoBo
and tell 'em to bring the big
dolly!
VOICE FROM BACK (O.S.)
Flintstone again, huh?
MORRIS
You got it. Now then... Mrs.
Slate?
(pointing at the
limo outside the
shop)
You're in a no parking zone there.
(CONTINUED)
20.
38 CONTINUED: (2) 38
MRS. SLATE
Well, if I get some service, I'll
be out of it, won't I?
Mrs. Slate steps to the counter. Meanwhile, the staff
begin using a refrigerator dolly to bring out giant ribs,
steaks and sausages which they pile up in front of Wilma.
MRS. SLATE
I want a nice fresh, juicy
chickensaurus, Morris. And not
one you've had laying around on
the shelf. I mean fresh.
MORRIS
Mrs. Slate, we're kind of busy
now --
MRS. SLATE
I don't care if you're busy. What
I care about is my adorable little
grand nephew. He's staying with
me for the summer and I intend to
make his favorite dish... Southern
fried chickensaurus! Now I want
a fresh chickensaurus and I want
it now!
MORRIS
Boys, you heard her... she said
fresh.
39 THE STAFF 39
with a sigh, they buckle on elbow and knee protectors,
go to a side door, open it. Inside is another barred
door. They open it, go inside. Immediately we hear
loud SQUAWKING and CACKLING... THUDS, BUMPS...
40 NEW ANGLE 40
Suddenly the barred door slams open and a giant chicken-
saurus comes bounding out, with Morris's staff hanging
all over it like rodeo cowboys. They try and restrain
it with ropes but it's enraged and flops around the
store.
MRS. SLATE
(oblivious of the
trouble)
Morris, while you're at it, I'd
like it plucked --
(CONTINUED)
21.
40 CONTINUED: 40
Suddenly the chickensaurus snaps the ropes, flaps its
wings and leaps through the front window --
41 EXT. BUTCHER SHOP - DAY 41
The huge bird lands with a crunch atop Mrs. Slate's car,
which is practically squashed flat. Then it disappears
around the corner. (We hear CAR HORNS and SKIDDING TIRES
as it goes.)
42 BACK TO SCENE 42
MRS. SLATE
My car -- !
Wilma and Betty try and hide their laughter.
CUT TO:
43 EXT. SLATE CONSTRUCTION - DAY 43
Clouds of dust rise from behind the fence. We see the
heads of the heavy equipment dinos rising and falling.
A two-story office building is at one end of the site
with a big "Slate Construction Inc." sign on the roof.
CAMERA ADJUSTS as Fred's car turns into the lot, Barney
seated beside Fred. The new green hood gleams in the
morning light.
44 CLOSER - FRED'S CAR 44
Fred digs his feet into the ground, slams to a halt. He
gets out, surveys the activity. Immediately, the various
workers shout AD LIB greetings. Fred acknowledges these,
beaming in the respect he gets here.
He lovingly dusts off his construction helmet, puts it on,
knocks an offending speck from his parking sign (F.
Flintstone - Shop Steward). He leads Barney towards the
quarry area.
FRED
Barney, you won't regret this --
hiya, Al -- fixing dents in cars
is one thing, a career's another.
Here, you're getting in on the
ground floor of the first footstep
of a new leaf -- hi, Wally, how's
the old backhand? And with a guy
like me ta show you the ropes, you
can skip all the red tape, all the
malarky, all the dino doo --
22.
45 NEW ANGLE 45
Fred stands near the weight station booth, where a plump
GIRL in a beehive hairdo sits inside a trailer.
GIRL
(New York accent)
Hi, Mr. Flintstone.
FRED
Hiya, Shirley. This is my very
special neighbor and pal Barney
Rubble. He needs an application
form, okay?
GIRL
Anything for you, Mr. Flintstone.
She slams down two clay tablets and a stylus.
GIRL
Here you go.
(smiling)
Thanks again for the football tickets.
My boyfriend and I both liked them.
FRED
My pleasure, Shirl. Anytime.
GIRL
Okay. But do you think next time
we could go to the same game?
FRED
(confidently)
No problem.
Fred smiles at her, hands the forms to Barney. Fres steps
towards the quarry, admires the activity, hands on hips,
master of all he surveys. He waves to more friends.
FRED
Well, Barn, what did I tell you?
When you're in with Flintstone,
you're in like Flint.
BARNEY
Gee, Fred. I knew you were a big
shot. I just didn't know how big.
Fred beams at that, and then follows Barney's gaze to
the read-out on the truck scale. Fred is standing on it
and it's pushing 250. With a scowl, Fred grabs Barney's
sleeve and they go into the quarry. As they move, the
CAMERA PANS and CRANES UP TOWARDS the window of the
Slate Construction Office.
CUT TO:
23.
46 INT. OFFICE - PULLBACK FROM WINDOW 46
The room here is dominated by a tabletop architectural
model of a large scale construction project. There's
acres of little development houses, then some tall office
buildings, a mall, you name it: There's even little foot-
powered model cars in the model parking spaces.
Near this we see MR. SLATE, a giant in the Bedrock con-
struction business (but not in height). Slate drinks
coffee from a "Boss" mug, listens with growing impatience
to JERRY LAVA. Several of Slate's lackeys listen, their
heads nodding up or down in sympathy with Slate's mer-
curial moods.
LAVA
Uncle, if you'll look at this unit
cost projection... it intersects
here with --
SLATE
-- how'd you like my fist to
intersect with your nose? I've
told you a hundred times, don't call
me uncle in the office! Now, I didn't
arrange your scholarship to Harvrock
University so you could waste my time!
So stop beating around the bushasaurus
and get to the bottom slime!
LAVA
You'll be bankrupt in six months.
Slate does a Danny Thomas spit take all over the model.
47 EXT. QUARRY - MOVING SHOT 47
Fred and Barney cross the busy lot, sidestepping workers
and animals. Fred does a lot of backslapping, waving.
Barney's filling out the forms on the move. Behind them,
we see the wide access ramp which spirals around the
quarry's sides.
BARNEY
(to himself)
Social Security number...
dependents... 'how learned of job'
... newspaper ad, carrier pigeon...
(writing)
... Personal reference...
Hearing a loud SMASH, Fred looks up and sees --
48 FRED'S POV - A WRECKING BALL OPERATOR 48
A burly and rough looking guy named PILTDOWN, he grins in-
side his dino-topping cupola, winds his winch handles and
then propels his wrecking ball towards the...
24.
49 QUARRY WALL - ABOVE 49
-- where the huge stone BALL SMASHES into some walnuts
balanced on a boulder.
50 WIDER 50
Piltdown's compact buddy PYRITE cackles, sweeps up the
walnuts. Munching them, he balances a new one in place.
(It should be noted here that the relationship and physi-
cal appearances of Piltdown and Pyrite mirrors that of
our heroes... they're sort of an anti-Fred and Barney.)
PYRITE
Way ta go, Pilty baby. Five bucks
says you can't hit one on the fly.
PILTDOWN
(calling up)
Yer on, Pyrite --
Pyrite tosses a walnut, which bounces on the ledge. The
wrecking BALL SMASHES into the stone wall.
51 BELOW 51
Workers near Fred duck as dust and debris fall down.
People grab for their construction helmets.
FRED
Not again...
Fred hustles up a ladder to a ramp which leads him up to
the level of Piltdown's cab. Barney hurries to follow.
FRED
All right, Piltdown, that's enough!
You're endangering your fellow
workers!
PILTDOWN
Yeah? Sez who?
FRED
Says me, Fred Flintstone -- shop
steward of Amalgamated Neolithic
Workers 101.
PILTDOWN
Yeah? Well, A.N.W. one-oh-one gives
us workers a snack break. So...
(a nasty grin)
... I'm breakin' some snacks.
He swings the wrecking ball again.
25.
52 UP ABOVE 52
This time he's overdone it: The wrecking ball flies past
the walnuts -- Pyrite ducks for cover -- and then the
wrecking ball whips over and around the handrail which
runs along here, twisting as tightly as Indiana Jones'
whip. The handrail wobbles dangerously in its
foundation --
53 PILTDOWN'S DINO 53
SNORTS, backs up -- the crane SUPPORTS on its back begin
to CREAK and GROAN with the strain --
54 WIDER 54
Workers scatter, fearful of the imminent collapse. Fred
runs to grab the dino's reins.
FRED
Whoa, whoa, big fella --
He calms the beast by giving it a carrot. As it munches,
Fred quickly ties the reins to a post.
FRED
(calling up to the cab)
You're on report, Piltdown! If it's
up to me you'll be pushing a
wheelbarrow!
PILTDOWN
(leaping down)
You've been asking for this,
Flintstone... I'm gonna kick your
fat butt --
FRED
Fat butt? Hold me back, Barney --
(sotto, very sincere)
-- Barney, hold me back --
Quickly the men form a circle around Piltdown and Fred.
Barney looks up and sees --
55 THE CRANE ON THE DINO'S BACK 55
It is shuddering and threatening to come crashing down.
56 BACK TO SCENE 56
BARNEY
Hey, maybe you guys oughta fix
that first.
PILTDOWN
Why should we?
(CONTINUED)
26.
56 CONTINUED: 56
BARNEY
It looks dangerous. Besides, you
can kick Fred's fat butt anytime.
FRED
Yeah. That's right.
(realizing, a glare
at Barney)
I mean -- this ain't over, Piltdown.
(turning, shouting)
Come on, guys. Let's clean up the
mess.
With much grumbling, ropes and grappling hooks are
gathered and the crew hops to it...
57 INT. SLATE'S OFFICE - SAME TIME 57
Slate stands in a blubbering fury as Lava mops coffee up
from the model and Slate's face.
SLATE
Bankrupt? Are you crazy?
Lava holds up a clay tablet covered with figures.
LAVA
It's all here in hack and slice.
When you committed to this housing
development the price of dino kibble
was a few clams per ton. Since then,
it's gone up a hundredfold.
(indicating the model)
You can't build a project like this
without the heavy equipment dinos,
and we can't afford to feed those
dinos.
Slate glowers, paces around the model.
SLATE
I'm two months behind schedule, my
option's running out on the land
and Donald Trumprock is just waiting
to jump in and steal the whole deal
... meanwhile that damn union's on
my back, hell, they'll probably want
an eighty hour week or something...
(frustrated)
There's got to be an answer...
A LOUD COMMOTION outside the window attracts everyone's
attention.
(CONTINUED)
27.
57 CONTINUED: 57
SLATE
What's that?
LAVA
(worried)
Sounds like a worker's comp claim
if I ever heard one...
All rush to the window. They look out and see --
58 THE QUARRY - WIDE 58
Supervised by Fred, all the workers are straining on the
ropes to haul the rear legs of the crane back into their
sockets on the back of the big dino. Only the last
critical rope is still dangling.
FRED
Barney! Grab that line! Hurry!
Barney scrambles up Fred's back, shoving a foot in Fred's
face, but finally snatching the rope. He pulls on it...
Fred throws his own weight into the effort...
59 THE CRANE 59
THUDS into place on the dino's back -- the workers cheer --
60 THE WRECKING BALL 60
alas, with its cable now twisted shorter, it's become an
immovable object, and as the shortened CABLE SNAPS, the
wrecking ball begins to roll down the quarry wall.
61 NEW ANGLE 61
Men and ANIMALS YELP and dive out of the way as the BALL
rolls downwards, SMASHING everything in its path.
62 EXT. SLATE'S OFFICE WINDOW 62
The executives watch concerned as --
63 THE WRECKING BALL 63
tumbles down, down, knocking scaffolding and ladders
aside, reaches the end of a ramp, and drops through the
air right onto --
64 THE HOOD OF FRED'S CAR 64
-- where, astonishingly, the HOOD sinks in resiliently
like a trampoline and then with a loud "SPROING" the
wrecking ball flies straight back up into the air,
followed a beat behind by the unhinged hood itself.
Both hurtle TOWARDS the CAMERA --
28.
65 SLATE AND EXECUTIVES 65
react fearfully as they realize all this is coming
straight for them. With a howl, they all dive aside --
66 INT. SLATE'S OFFICE - WIDER - DAY 66
The wrecking BALL flies through the window, SLAMS onto
Slate's desk, crushing everything in its path and then
sails on SMASHING right into --
67 THE MODEL DEVELOPMENT 67
-- where all of the lined up HIGH RISES SMASH ASIDE with
a sound like falling pins.
68 IN THE QUARRY 68
The workers pick themselves up and now their eyes follow
the path taken by the long-gone wrecking ball.
FRED
Oh boy. Goodbye pension fund --
They rush for the office building.
69 INT. SLATE'S OFFICE - DAY 69
Dust is still settling. The staff rises from the mess,
coughing. Lava rummages in the debris, finds a stiff
body.
LAVA
Uncle, Uncle, speak to me --
But it's only a statue of a golfer from one of Slate's
trophies.
SLATE
(sitting up)
I'm over here, you moron -- and
don't call me 'Uncle'!
Slate's eyes fall on Fred's car hood, swinging from a
bookshelf. He reaches for it -- pulls it -- it stays
put, and only releases a new deluge of rubble and plaster
which reburies him. At the same time, the door slams
open and Fred, Barney and the other workers tumble inside.
70 THEIR POV - OFFICE 70
As they take in the destruction. Barney notices the
wrecking ball amidst the model buildings. As we watch,
the last remaining little HIGH RISE FALLS.
(CONTINUED)
29.
70 CONTINUED: 70
BARNEY
Hey, nice going, Fred. You even
got the spare --
FRED
Barney, shut up --
(turning)
Mr. Slate -- Mr. Slate -- are you
all right?
Slate staggers to his feet, seething with fury. He
finally yanks the car hood free. It bounces and VIBRATES
in his hands like a hand saw.
SLATE
(eying the men)
For five years Slate Construction
has had the finest safety record
in Bedrock.
(pacing, angry)
Our workers are trained in first
aid, our equipment is first rate
and our dinos are worm free. And
then something like this happens
... I want to know how!
A cacophony of voices starts to answer.
SLATE
Shut up!
(in the sudden silence)
I want one person to answer me:
(waving the car hood)
Who's responsible for this?
71 PILTDOWN 71
nudges the wrecking ball off the edge of the table. It
falls on Fred's foot. Fred starts to scream and Piltdown
shoves a pencil holder into his mouth.
PILTDOWN
(quickly)
It was Flintstone, Mr. Slate!
PYRITE
That's right, Mr. Slate, it was
Flintstone!
BARNEY
That's a lie, Mr. Slate!
SLATE
Who are you?
(CONTINUED)
30.
71 CONTINUED: 71
BARNEY
(pointing to his forms)
B. Rubble. White male personal
reference --
SLATE
(pushing Barney aside)
Flintstone, I have just one thing
to say to you --
Fred cringes. Piltdown and Pyrite smirk.
SLATE
(pumping his hand)
Congratulations!
FRED PILTDOWN
Huh? What?
SLATE
This stuff you had on your car is
the most incredible building
material I've seen in thirty years
in the construction business!
(testing it)
It's strong --
(twirling it)
-- Light --
(bending it)
-- Resilient --
It rebounds, "SPROINGING" him on the chin. He recovers,
shakes it off.
SLATE
Where on earth did you get it?
FRED
Oh, it's ah, just something I
whipped up in the old garage
workshop --
(quickly)
-- with a little help from my
buddy Barney, right, Barn?
BARNEY
Well, actually, Fred, it was the
other way ar--
Fred hisses between his teeth, repeats the "Slate and me
are just like this" gesture he made earlier, points at
Slate.
(CONTINUED)
31.
71 CONTINUED: (2) 71
BARNEY
(reluctant)
Sure, Fred, right, right.
Slate nods, distracted, his eyes and hands running over
the smooth lines of the car hood.
SLATE
The rest of you men go back to work.
I want to talk to Flintstone and
the personal reference alone. Come
on, move, move...
They go out, Piltdown looking furious.
SLATE
(a man in love)
Light as a Pterodactyl feather...
why, a child could handle this...
Lava, we could cut construction
costs in half... in quarters... in
uh... whatchacallit --
LAVA
(patiently)
Eighths --
SLATE
Eighths, right. Flintstone, what
do you call this stuff?
FRED
Well, Mr. Slate, I call it --
(hesitating, sotto)
-- Barney, what do I call it?
BARNEY
(sotto)
Fibrerock, Fred...
FRED
-- I call it Fibrerock Fred -- !
(realizing)
I mean, ah, 'Fibrerock'!
SLATE
(rolling it over
his tongue)
'Fibrerock'? 'Fibrerock'?
(playing with it)
'Fib-bre-rock' --
Slate's staff make disparaging noises.
(CONTINUED)
32.
71 CONTINUED: (3) 71
SLATE
I love it!
SLATE'S STAFF
(instantly reversing
themselves)
Love it... great... has a nice
ring... says it all, you know?
(Etc...)
Slate takes the piece of material, leans it on the table
so it catches the light. Despite himself, Lava comes
over, examines the car hood... can't help but marvel at
it as well. Meanwhile, Slate puts his arms around Fred
and Barney.
SLATE
(to Lava)
You see this, Lava? All those
courses of yours at Harvrock
University, and who saves my bacon?
Two simple-minded run-of-the-mill
nobodies.
BARNEY
Gee, thanks, Mr. Slate.
Lava glowers. Slate pulls Fred and Barney close with
genuine excitement.
SLATE
Boys, this is a small step for
Slate Construction... a giant step
for all mankind.
He points to the translucent material. CAMERA TIGHTENS
ON it. We see Fred, Barney and Slate's reflections in it.
SLATE
(dramatically)
The Stone Age is over! Let the
Fibre Age begin!
As HEROIC MUSIC STINGS IN, we...
CUT TO:
72 BETTY'S CAR - TRAVELING - DAY 72
Mrs. Slate is in back, crammed in with groceries. Betty
pulls up in front of a building that looks like a Palm
Springs spa. This is "L'ECOLE DES ENFANTS PREHISTORIQUE
HAUTE SUPERIOR."
(CONTINUED)
33.
72 CONTINUED: 72
BETTY
Here we are, Mrs. Slate. Sorry you
had to ride in the back.
MRS. SLATE
(getting out)
Not at all. I'm used to being
driven around.
And she's sashaying up the path. Betty and Wilma burn,
then follow her.
73 INT. SCHOOL - DAY 73
As elegant as we can get MMMCXV years before Louis XIV.
As the three women come in, we see CHILDREN with alliga-
tors on their deerskin shirts singing:
CHILDREN
'La hachette de ma tante
est sur le roche de mon oncle -- '
HEADMISTRESS
(coming over, gushing)
Madame Mrs. Slate, bonjour!
Welcome to L'ecole des Enfants
Prehistorique Haute Superior!
MRS. SLATE
Thank you, Marie.
(showing a rock receipt)
I ordered the hors d'oeuvres for
the junior talent show. They were
out of Ceolanth caviar so I got
Mastodon brie instead. Oh, ah,
these are my, uh, friends, Wilma
Flintstein --
WILMA
Flintstone --
MRS. SLATE
-- oh, it used to be Flintstein -- ?
And this is ah, Becky... Betty!
The Headmistress reaches over, takes their hands
gracefully.
HEADMISTRESS
Enchante.
WILMA
I'm sure.
(CONTINUED)
34.
73 CONTINUED: 73
BETTY
Likewise.
HEADMISTRESS
(waving a hand)
Well, Madame Slate, as you can see,
we remain ze creme de la creme in
the croissant of life known as
Bedrock. Now, your leetle gran'
nephew will be wiz us for two weeks,
no?
(opening a drawer)
Here is ze application for him. An'
mais oui, he weel participate in zee
annual talent show, naturalment?
Mrs. Slate takes the parchment application. Meanwhile
the Headmistress looks appraisingly at Wilma and Betty.
HEADMISTRESS
An' your friends perhaps would like
zum school applications for zere
enfants?
MRS. SLATE
(amused)
Them? Oh, Marie, really, you don't
understand --
BETTY
(suddenly)
That's right, you don't understand.
My husband's business manager usually
handles this sort of thing, but I
don't mind.
And to Wilma's astonishment, Betty takes one of the
parchments.
BETTY
I know Bam-Bam --
(correcting herself)
-- pardonez-moi, 'Bem-Bem' will love
attending your school and performing
in the talent show. Thank you oh
so much.
She gives Mrs. Slate an even and controlled look, and
sends some of it over in Wilma's direction as well.
Wilma makes her choice, smiles tightly.
WILMA
Let me have one of those, too. For
ma petite Pebbles.
(CONTINUED)
35.
73 CONTINUED: (2) 73
HEADMISTRESS
Of course. Any friend of Madame
Slate is a friend of mine.
As Mrs. Slate reacts, we --
CUT TO:
74 INT. CAR - FRED AND BARNEY - NIGHT 74
They're cruising along. Fred puffs on a cigar. Barney
flips the pile of legal sized tablets in his lap. In the
back seat are some boxes and bundles.
BARNEY
Gee, Fred, I don't believe it.
Eight hours ago I didn't have a
job and now look -- I got 1/2 of
one percent of the after-taxes
after-expenses net breakage profits
on Fibrerock!
FRED
Just be thankful I was there to go
over the fine print.
(full of himself)
It's like I told you this morning
-- There's something noble about a
man digging in with his hands and
doing an honest day's work. Once
you file those dreams under 'old
business' and put your nose to the
plow, well, the world is your
oyster. And was I right?
BARNEY
No, Fred, you weren't. I didn't
nose any grindstones and you didn't
shoulder a wheel. We just hung out
together and everything that
happened was a total accident.
FRED
(after a moment)
Details, Barney, details...
(smiling)
I just can't wait to see the girls'
faces when we tell 'em the news...
75 INT. FLINTSTONE HOUSE - NIGHT 75
The girls' frowns are a great contrast to their husbands'
smiles. Wilma's looking at the school enrollment forms.
Betty paces, looks at the clock.
(CONTINUED)
36.
75 CONTINUED: 75
WILMA
(seeing this)
It's not like the boys to be so
late.
BETTY
Unless they were forced to go
bowling again. Remember that time
a burglar pointed a gun at them
and said, 'go bowling right now'?
WILMA
Betty, sometimes you're a little
too gullible --
BETTY
Don't tell me. I still can't
believe what I did today...
WILMA
No kidding.
(indicating the forms)
Do you have any idea of what the
enrollment fee is? And get this...
it's non-refundable --
BETTY
I know, I know! I just couldn't
stand that woman's attitude! But
we had to find a new school anyway,
and there we were... the next thing
I knew, I was in over my head...
but why did you jump in, too?
WILMA
Oh, she was getting to me too with
all that mastodon snort about her
little nephew... and...
BETTY
And?
WILMA
And... if a friend can't help you
do something stupid, who can?
Betty smiles, touched. Then reality intrudes again.
BETTY
What do we tell the boys?
WILMA
What's wrong with the truth?
(CONTINUED)
37.
75 CONTINUED: (2) 75
BETTY
We put ourselves in debt so the
kids can attend school with a
family we can't stand?
WILMA
(pause)
Maybe we could rephrase it...
Suddenly the door bursts open. Fred and Barney run in
with candy and flowers.
FRED AND BARNEY
Surprise!
Pause.
BETTY
Flowers?
WILMA
Rock candy? That's nice, but...
why?
FRED
Why? Oh, me and Barn, we suddenly
realized that we had a little spare
change.
WILMA
(sotto)
Not anymore you don't...
BARNEY
(presenting flowers)
Betty, these are for you. For
sticking beside me during the
tough times, and well... for
making a little guy feel like he
was ten feet tall.
BETTY
Aw, Barney... I... I don't deserve
these. I did something really
stupid today.
BARNEY
Hey. Fred does something stupid
every day and I still love him.
Fred laughs good naturedly, grabs Barney in a headlock.
FRED
Noogy, noogy, ha, ha -- !
(CONTINUED)
38.
75 CONTINUED: (3) 75
WILMA
(observing this)
Have you been drinking?
In reply, Fred whips a bottle of champagne into view.
FRED
Ready when you are.
(noticing the label)
Hey, '1'... a good year.
This confuses the girls even more.
WILMA
Fred, there's no easy way to say
this so --
She closes her eyes, swings the enrollment forms over on
the table so that Fred and Barney can read them.
Fred and Barney look at them, look at each other... and
yawn.
76 FAVORING WILMA AND BETTY 76
They can't believe this.
BETTY
Boys... did you see... the dollar
signs there at the bottom?
WILMA
The non-refundable dollar signs?
BARNEY
Plenty more where that came from.
FRED
We see your dollar signs, ladies...
and...
He tosses his stone contracts on top of the parchment
ones with a THUD.
FRED
... we raise them.
Wilma and Betty look at each other, then at the contracts.
They blink, look again.
WILMA
Betty... these... these look...
real --
(CONTINUED)
39.
76 CONTINUED: 76
Fred opens the champagne, which foams all over them. The
girls squeal.
FRED
You bet they're real, sweetheart.
They're as real as... as... well,
as real as --
(embracing the group)
-- the best darn friends and
neighbors in the whole world.
Barney squeezes back.
BARNEY
Yeah. And nothing's ever gonna
change that... right, Fred?
FRED
(emotionally)
Right, pal o'mine.
As they laugh and the girls slowly absorb the truth,
we --
CUT TO:
77 EXT. WATER BUFFALO LODGE - NIGHT 77
A sign proclaims this as "GRAND BEDROCK LODGE -- LOYAL
ORDER OF WATER BUFFALO." The parking lot outside is full
of vehicles. We hear the sound of a GAVEL BANGING...
HERDMASTER (V.O.)
Attention, fellow Water Buffaloes...
78 INT. WATER BUFFALO LODGE - NIGHT 78
The members are milling about the main room, schmoozing,
drinking, kibitzing. All wear the furry and horned
ceremonial Fez of the Buffalo.
One wall of the lodge displays a big version of the lodge
coat of arms (with the motto "Ackus Ackus Adackus" below);
a trophy case holds a mind boggling display of various
bowling trophies, balls and pins. At the lectern, the
HERDMASTER (a mustachioed, inspirational type) bangs
again for order.
HERDMASTER
Brothers, your attention!
It quiets a bit. He clears his throat, raises his chin,
and gives a strange mournful bellow.
(CONTINUED)
40.
78 CONTINUED: 78
HERDMASTER
("ritual" type tone)
The herd is now called to the
prairie.
(holding fingers
above ears)
Antlers... up!
The entire Lodge dutifully imitates this gesture.
ENTIRE GROUP
Ack-ack-a-dack!
HERDMASTER
(banging gavel)
This meeting of the Water
Buffaloes is now in session.
Sergeant-at-Arms, have we got any
old business?
Barney stands, acknowledges his friends and Lodge
brothers.
BARNEY
Indeed we do, Brother Herdmaster.
Tonight we are to hear speeches
from prospective candidates for
Lodge offices, such as good old
Fred and some other guys.
79 PILTDOWN 79
Seated across the room with Pyrite and other cronies, he
immediately leaps to his feet, paws the ground, and gives
an eerie moan even stranger than the Herdmaster's earlier
call to order.
80 BACK TO SCENE 80
After the CRY ECHOES away:
HERDMASTER
Brother Piltdown: You have given
the Cry of the Gelded Buffalo at
the Poisoned Water Hole. Do you
wish to file an objection?
PILTDOWN
You bet I do. How come Flintstone
is 'good old Fred' and me and the
other candidates are just 'some
other guys'?
PYRITE
Yeah, how come?
(CONTINUED)
41.
80 CONTINUED: 80
BARNEY
(rising)
My apologies, Brother Piltdown.
Allow me to rephrase. Tonight we
will hear speeches from a whole
bunch of good old guys...
(pause)
... plus the one and only Fred
Flintstone!
Cheers go up, which drown out Piltdown's renewed cry of
the poisoned water hole. Fred moves towards the podium
as the noise dies down.
81 NEW ANGLE 81
Barney moves to the wall, where he pulls a rolled up
tapestry from a hiding place behind a plant. He tacks it
to the wall, yanks a string. It unrolls. It's a big
"VOTE FOR FRED FLINTSTONE" poster.
Barney turns, gives Fred a "thumbs up," and as he does,
Barney's hand brushes against a folded parchment in his
pocket. Barney pushes his way through the seats, catches
up to Fred and hands him the document. Fred takes it,
continues up to the podium. There, the Herdmaster hands
Fred the ceremonial hoof and antler, crossed over each
other like a Pharaoh's badges of office.
Fred does a Papal-like wave with these, sets them down,
and unrolls the crib notes Barney gave him.
FRED
(reading, at first
wooden, then
confident)
Brother Buffaloes, honored
Herdmaster, Junior Bucks and
Apprentice Antlers, a great good
evening to you all. Ahem. As you
know, our organization has survived
difficult times that have seen the
extinction of such other lodges as
the Order of Whooping Cranes and
Brotherhood of Giant Sloths. But
we here have come through the croo
... the crux...
BARNEY
(hissing)
-- crucible --
(CONTINUED)
42.
81 CONTINUED: 81
FRED
(grateful)
-- crucible with our fur fluffy
and our hooves unscathed. Now,
the future holds many promises and
many problems. As your next
Herdmaster, I would bring to you
the same determination, courage
and -- if I may say so -- bold
thinking that I have brought to
the workplace. Thank you, and
ack ack a-dack.
Applause follows Fred's return to the floor.
82 PILTDOWN AND PYRITE 82
The only ones in their row not clapping, they scowl as
Fred passes them...
CUT TO:
83 INT. LODGE - RECREATION AREA - LATER 83
WIDEN as Barney propels a bowling ball (stone, of course)
rumbling down the alley, sending pins flying. The
Buffaloes cheer Barney's strike. We notice that most (if
not all) of these Lodge members also work at the quarry.
84 AUTOMATIC PIN SPOTTER 84
It descends. It consists of a bent snout creature which
"cranks" down a shelf with several monkeys on it. The
monkeys grab the pins with their tails, straighten them
up. Then the shelf cranks back up.
85 OTHER END OF ALLEY 85
Now it's Fred's turn. He trots up to the line, bowls...
another strike! More cheers, AD LIB complaints, etc.
The scorekeeper picks up hammer and chisel and fills out
the last frame.
LODGE MEMBER
Congratulations, Fred.
FRED
Hey, when you're hot you're hot...
boys, lemme buy a round of drinks
for everyone.
BARNEY
Thanks, Fred, but here at the
lodge drinks are free.
(CONTINUED)
43.
85 CONTINUED: 85
FRED
But the principle is the same,
Barn. Don't forget that.
Fred leads the group over to the bar. Piltdown and
Pyrite come along with a shrug... why not, for a brew?
Fred reaches --
86 UNDER THE COUNTER 86
where he pulls out a hook-beaked little LIZARD --
87 BACK TO SCENE 87
Fred uses this creature to open several beers.
FRED
(during this)
Here you go, boys, nice and
frosty...
"BOTTLE OPENER" CREATURE (LIZARD)
(aside)
Go ahead, laugh. If I had a good
orthodontist, my life woulda been
different...
Fred tosses the "Opener" aside --
88 UNDER THE COUNTER 88
The critter bounces into the shelf, slides... when it re-
covers, it realizes that its overbite has been straightened
out by the impact. Very happy, it grabs a hat and coat,
exits.
89 BACK TO SCENE 89
FRED
(raising drink)
Well, here's to...
He looks around, sees --
90 "PHOTO" ON WALL 90
It's actually "dots" chipped into a stone. It shows the
young Fred, Barney and others gathered around soapbox
racers. A banner reads "Junior Buffalo Day."
44.
91 BACK TO SCENE 91
FRED
Here's to the greatest bunch of
lifelong Buffaloes a guy could
dream of leading.
(an obvious prompt)
Anybody else got a toast...?
BARNEY
'Here's to the Water Buffalo and
their next Herdmaster... Fred'!
FRED
Aw, gee, Barn... you shouldn't say
that...
(winking)
... at least not till after next
week's election!
LODGE MEMBER
Fred, what was all that stuff in
your speech about the workplace?
I thought the only decision you
made there was how many lunches to
eat --
Laughter. Fred accepts it good-naturedly, reaches into
his pocket.
FRED
Well, Harry, it just so happens
that old Fred is moving up in the
world... Boys, you're looking at
Mr. Slate's new partner.
PILTDOWN
You and Slate? Who are you
kidding, Flintstone? The only
partner you got is hanging over
your belt.
Pyrite laughs, a bit too much.
FRED
Prepare to eat those words,
Piltdown.
PILTDOWN
-- If I don't, you will --
FRED
(a tight smile)
Gentlemen, my card --
He passes them out, and the others take them, curious --
45.
92 INSERT - CARD 92
Of course it's a little stone tablet... but it does
indeed say "SLATE CONSTRUCTION -- F. FLINTSTONE,
ASSISTANT JR. V.P. -- PUBLIC RELATIONS."
93 BACK TO SCENE 93
LODGE MEMBERS
(AD LIB, impressed)
Hey, way ta go, Fred... Whoa,
gonna switch from a hard hat to
a top hat, Freddy boy...?
PYRITE
(examining the card)
Ah, it's probably a phony...
Saying this, he bites down on it... winces as a tooth
cracks.
94 BARNEY 94
tugs Fred's sleeve, pulls him close.
BARNEY
Gee, Fred, how come I didn't get
any business cards?
FRED
Barney, it's all part of the plan.
(to the others)
Yes, boys, you see, I went up to
my pal, Mister Slate and single-
handedly made him an offer he
couldn't refuse --
(Barney reacts to the "single-handedly" --)
FRED
-- 'Freddy boy,' he sez to me,
'We gotta talk turkey -- '
BARNEY
Fred, we gotta talk turkey --
FRED
That's right -- just like that --
BARNEY
Fred -- !
Fred realizes Barney's got something on his mind.
FRED
Ah, excuse us, boys...
46.
95 NEW ANGLE 95
Fred pulls Barney into a quiet corridor. They stand near
a trophy case. There's some bowling trophies here with
a variety of names on them. (There's also trophies for
"pie-eating contests" and "beer drinking chug-offs";
these have only Fred's name on them.)
BARNEY
Fred... what's this single-handed
stuff? I distinctly remember at
least four hands and two of them
were mine.
FRED
(lowered voice)
Barney, we could tell everyone how
you invented this Fibrerock stuff,
how Slate and Lava found out about
it by accident and all, but what
would that be?
BARNEY
The truth?
FRED
This is big business, Barney. We
can't start telling the truth,
it'd create the wrong impression.
Think about all the really big
deals in history -- back to the
beginning of recorded time.
Barney knits his brow in thought for maybe three seconds.
BARNEY
Okay.
FRED
What do they all have in common?
(as Barney is
stumped)
I'll tell you. A front man. A
guy who's out in the public eye
running the point, fighting the
crowds... and meanwhile... back
in the corner is the silent
partner.
BARNEY
I never knew that.
FRED
That's because the silent partner
is always silent.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
47.
95 CONTINUED: 95
FRED (CONT'D)
But while you're busy being
silent --
(conspiratorially)
-- all along you're the brains
behind the operation and I'm the
brains in front of the operation.
I'm out here running the guts of
the operation but you got a cut.
It looks like my mind, but you're
really behind.
BARNEY
I get it. I got the brains, but
you just pretend to have them.
FRED
Attaboy!
And a confident Fred shakes hands with an unsure "silent
partner"...
CUT TO:
96 EXT. FLINTSTONE/RUBBLE HOUSES - DAY 96
Barney comes out of his front door, heads toward the
neighboring driveway and Fred's car. Betty comes out,
calls to her husband.
BETTY
Barney, wait a minute...
97 CLOSER 97
He stops, turns. Betty comes over and we see he's wear-
ing a sports jacket and an abysmally-tied tie. Betty
fixes the knot.
BETTY
There. That looks more like a
captain of industry.
BARNEY
Thanks, Betty. What would I do
without you?
BETTY
Hmm. Probably run off to the
tropics with one of those
executive secretaries.
(CONTINUED)
48.
97 CONTINUED: 97
BARNEY
Come on, Betty, it's only my
first day. You have to have
seniority to run off...
She giggles, kisses him.
98 FRED 98
is at the car door, lunch pail in hand, when Wilma calls
out to him.
WILMA
Fred! Wait a minute! There's
something wrong with your lunch --
FRED
("weighing it")
Yeah... it does feel a little
light...
He returns to her, opens the pail, is surprised to find
it's empty. Before he can comment, she smilingly
presents him with a spanking new briefcase. "F.F" is
embossed on it in gold.
WILMA
Fit for a king... my king.
FRED
Aw, Wilma... lookit, it's got
buckles, a strap, a lock --
He opens it. Inside is a huge drumstick and some ribs.
FRED
-- Baby, you're the greatest.
WILMA
(kissing him)
Good luck.
(pause)
Watch out for those... you know...
hostile takeovers.
FRED
I'm already taken.
He moves to the car.
FRED
Ah, Mister Rubble, I presume?
Of the Fibrerock Rubbles?
(CONTINUED)
49.
98 CONTINUED: 98
BARNEY
Yes, yes. Looking good, Mister
Flintstone. I see you've
recovered from that polo accident.
FRED
Yas, yas. The water was too
deep and my horse drowned.
They crack up at their own wit, drive off.
CUT TO:
99 SLATE QUARRY - LAVA'S OFFICE - DAY 99
Lava's on the phone, very worried.
LAVA
Ivan, look, okay, so I bought too
much on margin... everyone said
glaciers were here to stay, I
mean, who knew? Just leverage my
shares in Atlantis dry goods and
-- what? When did that happen?
Piltdown enters, knocks on the open door.
PILTDOWN
Mister Lava, the armored car is
here.
LAVA
Armored car...?
PILTDOWN
Yeah. Must be a fortune in
coo-coo berries on that baby.
You know, for that Fibrerock
stuff of Flintstone and Rubble's.
You gotta sign here for it.
LAVA
(into phone)
I... I'll get back to you.
Lava comes over, signs the form. Meanwhile he looks out
the window at --
100 HIS POV - ARMORED CAR 100
The guards are unloading sacks of coo-coo berries.
50.
101 BACK TO SCENE 101
Lava signs the form, meanwhile looking Piltdown up and
down. Finally --
LAVA
Piltdown, this Fibrerock program
is going to create a lot of
changes around the plant. I want
to make one more. You've been a
wonderful thug and goon for me.
Now, I'd like to expand your
duties. I want you to become a
provocateur.
PILTDOWN
Gee, Mister Lava, I donno. I
kinda like girls myself.
LAVA
(patiently)
What I mean, is, I'm going to use
you to double-cross your Lodge and
Union brothers, and make their
lives a living hell.
PILTDOWN
Oh, okay.
LAVA
Good. You and your little pal
will report directly to me and
take orders only from me.
(slapping him on
the back)
Now get out of here and start
screwing your former friends and
associates.
Piltdown leaves, smiling. Lava rubs his chin,
thoughtful.
LAVA
Coo-coo berries...
CUT TO:
102 EXT. QUARRY - DAY 102
Fred and Barney appear in Fred's car, make a very quick
turn into the quarry lot.
103 CLOSER 103
They both duck down behind the wheel. A moment later,
Feldspar's patrol car comes barrelling by.
(CONTINUED)
51.
103 CONTINUED: 103
Feldspar looks every which way, doesn't spot them.
BARNEY
(when he's gone)
Gee, Fred, driving with you is
better than an 'E' ticket at
Magerock Mountain.
FRED
(getting out)
Gets the old adrenaline going,
Barn. Us big executives, we need
that kind of jolt to get the old
wheels turning.
Lava comes INTO VIEW, carrying an armload of plans.
LAVA
Flintstone! Rubble!
BARNEY
Oh, hi, Mister Lava.
LAVA
Please, call me Jerry. Uncle --
I mean, Mister Slate told me to
take you to your offices. If
you'll follow me...?
They move along. Fred notices a hotbed of activity
nearby. Workers move scaffolding, animals labor.
FRED
Hey. What's going on?
LAVA
The Fibrerock assembly line.
Unc -- Mister Slate's had a crew
working on it all weekend. We're
going to roll out the first sheets
of Fibrerock by mid-week.
FRED
Yes, yes. Quick, dynamic entry
into the marketplace. I approve.
BARNEY
But, Fred, it's right where the
employee basketball court used
ta be --
(CONTINUED)
52.
103 CONTINUED: (2) 103
FRED
Hey, you're right...
(resigned)
... Big business is hell, Barney.
Trust me... you'll get used to it.
BARNEY
I guess so. You already did.
Lava leads them to a wood-sided trailer.
LAVA
Well, gentlemen, here you are. As
soon as you're settled, come over
to the assembly line. We'll go
over the Fibrerock formula before
the first run.
He goes off. Fred and Barney go --
104 INSIDE TRAILER 104
There're two tiny little desks at the far end, separated
by a flimsy divider. The single window here looks out
over the quarry scrap heap. (As we watch, somebody dumps
a load of debris.)
Threadbare furniture on a worn rug sits under a portrait
of "Our Founder" (Slate).
105 BACK TO SCENE 105
Fred and Barney look at all this in turn. Pause. Then
they whirl, give each other high-fives.
BARNEY
All-right!
FRED
Welcome to the top -- partner.
And as they shake, we --
CUT TO:
106 MONTAGE - ASSEMBLY LINE - DAY 106
Now, accompanied by heroic "industrial"-type MUSIC, we
see the Fibrerock assembly line in full operation.
This cannot be described now with appropriate justice,
but it involves a series of animal-powered conveyor
belts, Rube Goldberg-like funnels, spouts and chutes,
and all sorts of gadgets, gizmos, bells and whistles,
to wit:
(CONTINUED)
53.
106 CONTINUED: 106
At one end of the building, dino-powered dumpsters and
lifters drop off all the ingredients; these get stomped/
chewed/bashed and otherwise reduced to powder, which is
then (courtesy of some squirting Mastodans) mixed with
water into a foam, which bubbles through a long sawmill-
type trough and is held back by a gate.
Meanwhile, we see a sample item (in this case, a stone
sofa) as it is placed before two "goatasauruses" which
butt heads and smash the sofa between the two halves of
a clay mold. When the mold is opened and the sofa tossed
aside, Barney appears and personally "aims" the foam
trough at a funnel in the top of the mold. Pausing to
"taste" the mix, he smiles, then shouts --
BARNEY
Ready... aim... fibre!
Barney pulls a rope which opens the trough. "Fibrefoam"
pours into the mold.
107 THE CLAY MOLD 107
gets "winched" unpwards by monkeys, and then an alliga-
torsaurus whaps it with its tail.
108 BELOW 108
Presto! A Fibrerock copy of the stone sofa drops neatly
out of the mold, bounces lightly on the conveyor belt
below! It sparkles with the tell-tale celadon-green
shimmer of Fibrerock. As it chugs along, the process
repeats, and soon a score of identical sofas is in view.
109 END OF ASSEMBLY LINE 109
as a beaming Fred watches, workers easily stack the
Fibrerock sofas (often one-handed). Nearby, we see
Fibrerock window frames, doors, chairs, etc.
110 UP ANGLE - SLATE'S OFFICE BALCONY 110
Slate and Lava watch the progress, dollar signs in their
eyes.
DISSOLVE TO:
111 LONG MATTE SHOT - SLATE QUARRY - LATE AFTERNOON 111
Fibrerock products are stacked up everywhere, stretching
away like the inventory in Charles Foster Kane's
warehouse.
We see everything from Fibrerock bricks to Fibrerock
table lamps to Fibrerock toilets. MUSIC OUT.
54.
112 CLOSER - QUARRY YARD 112
Fred and Barney, weary, approach each other, shake hands
as they view the day's incredible output. Other weary,
but proud workers gather around them: Mr. Slate is about
to address them from his office balcony.
SLATE
Men, this is a proud day for Slate
Construction. You have seen the
first pieces of Fibrerock roll
off the assembly line and into
history... a history you are all
part of... thanks to your very
own fellow worker, Fred Flintstone!
113 WORKERS - FAVORING FRED AND BARNEY 113
They cheer Slate's remarks, pat Fred on the back.
114 BACK TO SCENE 114
SLATE
No longer will man and beast bend
under the backbreaking load of
stone and rock and timber...
because Fibrerock is so light
that even a child can handle it.
(pause)
That's why on Monday we're going
to hire two dozen children from
Bedrock Technical Junior High.
They'll be replacing the 36
heavy equipment operators, 15
shaft diggers and 22 laborers
we're laying off today. Your
pink slips will be in your final
pay envelopes along with a ticket
to the grand opening of Slate
City. It's non-transferable,
so hang on to it. Thank you, and
have a nice weekend.
115 THE QUARRY YARD 115
The workers stand slack-jawed and stunned.
WORKER #1
Laid off --?
WORKER #2
Pink slip --?
WORKER #3
Thanks to Fred Flintstone?
(CONTINUED)
55.
115 CONTINUED: 115
WORKER #4
Flintstone! What kinda shop
steward are you?
All eyes swivel and bore into Fred, who is as shocked as
anyone.
BARNEY
Fred. You gotta do something
about this!
FRED
I do?
(realizing)
I mean, I do, yeah!
He squares his shoulders, marches off.
BARNEY
(proudly)
That's my Fred...
116 INT. SLATE'S OFFICE - DAY 116
Slate is practicing hitting golf balls into an automatic
putting cup. Lava and some office workers are checking
a blueprint against a model of "Slate City" which is made
out of Fibrerock. A ball shoots back at Slate, who tees
up again.
117 INSIDE THE PUTTING CUP 117
A little MOUSE in a complete hockey outfit jumps to catch
the ball. Stopping it with his little hockey stick, the
Mouse gasps, raises its hockey mask.
MOUSE
Whew. And it's still pre-season.
He whaps the ball to Slate again.
118 BACK TO SCENE 118
Slate tees up the ball again. Fred barges in, banging
the door. Startled, Slate drives the ball instead of
putting it. It sails across the room and SHATTERS a
PICTURE of Mrs. Slate.
SLATE
(furious)
Flintstone!
(CONTINUED)
56.
118 CONTINUED: 118
FRED
(undeterred)
Mr. Slate -- we gotta talk --
SLATE
We do, eh? About what?
FRED
About those guys outside, Mr.
Slate. Some of 'em, well, they
been here for years. And you,
well, you can't lay them off just
like --
(snapping fingers)
-- that!
Slate looks at Lava, who shrugs. Slate looks back at
Fred, stays surprisingly calm. He toys with the putter,
balances it on his palm.
SLATE
Of course I can, Fred. I can lay
them off like --
(snapping fingers)
-- that, or like --
(a different style
snap)
-- that, or like --
He does a really nifty snap which combines with a buck-
and-wing with the putter.
SLATE
-- that.