American Beauty
Writers: Alan Ball
Genres: Drama
INT. FITTS HOUSE - RICKY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
On VIDEO: JANE BURNHAM lays in bed, wearing a tank top. She's
sixteen, with dark, intense eyes.
JANE
I need a father who's a role model, not
some horny geek-boy who's gonna spray his
shorts whenever I bring a girlfriend home
from school.
(snorts)
What a lame-o. Somebody really should put
him out of his misery.
Her mind wanders for a beat.
RICKY (O.C.)
Want me to kill him for you?
Jane looks at us and sits up.
JANE
(deadpan)
Yeah, would you?
FADE TO BLACK.
FADE IN:
EXT. ROBIN HOOD TRAIL - EARLY MORNING
We're FLYING above suburban America, DESCENDING SLOWLY toward
a tree-lined street.
LESTER (V.O.)
My name is Lester Burnham. This is my
neighborhood. This is my street. This...
is my life. I'm forty-two years old. In
less than a year, I'll be dead.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - MASTER BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
We're looking down at a king-sized BED from OVERHEAD:
LESTER BURNHAM lies sleeping amidst expensive bed linens,
face down, wearing PAJAMAS. An irritating ALARM CLOCK RINGS.
Lester gropes blindly to shut it off.
LESTER (V.O.)
Of course, I don't know that yet. He
rolls over, looks up at us and sighs. He
doesn't seem too thrilled at the prospect
of a new day.
(CONTINUED)
2.
CONTINUED:
LESTER (V.O.) (CONT'D)
And in a way, I'm dead already.
He sits up and puts on his slippers.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - MASTER BATH - MOMENTS LATER
Lester thrusts his face directly into a steaming hot shower.
ANGLE from outside the shower: Lester's naked body is
silhouetted through the fogged-up glass door. It becomes
apparent he is masturbating.
LESTER (V.O.)
(amused)
Look at me, jerking off in the shower.
(then)
This will be the high point of my day.
It's all downhill from here.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER
CLOSE on a single, dewy AMERICAN BEAUTY ROSE. A gloved hand
with CLIPPERS appears and SNIPS the flower off.
CAROLYN BURNHAM tends her rose bushes in front of the Burnham
house. A very well-put together woman of forty, she wears
color-coordinated gardening togs and has lots of useful and
expensive tools.
Lester watches her through a WINDOW on the first floor,
peeping out through the drapes.
LESTER (V.O.)
That's my wife Carolyn. See the way the
handle on those pruning shears matches
her gardening clogs? That's not an
accident.
EXT. JIMS' HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
In the fenced front yard of the house next door, a dog BARKS
repeatedly. A MAN in a conservative suit (JIM #1) chastises
the barking dog.
JIM #1
Hush, Bitsy. You hush. What is wrong?
LESTER (V.O.)
That's our next-door neighbor Jim.
A second MAN in a conservative suit (JIM #2) comes out of the
house.
(CONTINUED)
3.
CONTINUED:
LESTER (V.O.) (CONT'D)
And that's his lover, Jim.
JIM #2
(re: barking dog)
What in the world is wrong with her? She
had a walk this morning.
JIM #1
And a jerky treat.
JIM #2
You spoil her.
(sternly)
Bitsy. No bark. Come inside. Now.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Lester watches all this from the window.
CAROLYN
Good morning, Jim!
Jim #1 walks toward the fence to greet Carolyn.
JIM #1
Morning, Carolyn.
CAROLYN
(overly friendly)
I just love your tie! That color!
JIM #1
I just love your roses. How do you get
them to flourish like this?
CAROLYN
Well, I'll tell you. Egg shells and
Miracle Grow.
Jim #1 and Carolyn continue to chat, unaware that Lester is
watching them.
LESTER (V.O.)
Man. I get exhausted just watching her.
Lester's POV: We can't hear what Jim and Carolyn are saying,
but she's overly animated, like a TV talk show host.
LESTER (V.O.) (CONT'D)
She wasn't always like this. She used to
be happy. We used to be happy.
4.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - JANE'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS
JANE is seated at her desk, working at her computer.
LESTER (V.O.)
My daughter Jane. Only child.
CLOSE on the COMPUTER MONITOR: A PERSONAL BANKING SOFTWARE
window suddenly disappears to reveal another window: a
PLASTIC SURGERY WEBSITE, featuring clinical "before" and
"after" photos of surgically augmented breasts.
LESTER (V.O.) (CONT'D)
Janie's a pretty typical teenager. Angry,
insecure, confused. I wish I could tell
her that's all going to pass...
Outside, a CAR HORN BLARES. Jane stuffs items into her
BACKPACK.
LESTER (V.O.) (CONT'D)
But I don't want to lie to her.
We HEAR the CAR HORN again from outside. Jane studies herself
in a mirror, then shifts to get a good profile of her
breasts.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Carolyn stands next to a platinum-colored MERCEDES-BENZ
ML320, reaching in through the drivers' window to blow the
HORN again.
Jane shuffles out of the house, her backpack slung over her
shoulder.
CAROLYN
Jane. Honey. Are you trying to look
unattractive?
JANE
Yes.
CAROLYN
Well, congratulations. You've succeeded
admirably.
Jane gets in the car. Lester hurries out the front door,
carrying a BRIEFCASE.
(CONTINUED)
5.
CONTINUED:
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
Lester, could you make me a little later,
please? Because I'm not quite late
enough.
Lester's briefcase suddenly springs open and his papers spill
all over the driveway. He drops to his knees to gather
everything.
JANE
Nice going, Dad.
Lester smiles sheepishly, trying to lighten the moment.
His POV: Carolyn looks down at us, contemptuous but also
bored, as if she gave up expecting anything more long ago.
LESTER (V.O.)
Both my wife and daughter think I'm this
gigantic loser, and... they're right.
INT. MERCEDES-BENZ ML320 - A SHORT TIME LATER
Carolyn is driving; Jane stares out the window. Lester is
asleep in the back seat.
LESTER (V.O.)
I have lost something. I'm not exactly
sure what it is, but I know I didn't
always feel this... sedated. But you know
what? It's never too late to get it back.
INT. OFFICE BUILDING - DAY
Lester sits at his workstation, a BEIGE CUBICLE surrounded by
IDENTICAL BEIGE CUBICLES. He's staring at a computer monitor
and talking on a HEADSET PHONE. The beleaguered expression on
his face is at odds with the light, friendly tone of his
voice.
LESTER
Hello, this is Lester Burnham from Media
Monthly magazine, I'm calling for Mr.
Tamblin, please?... Well, we're all under
a deadline here, uh, but you see, there
is some basic information about the
product launch that isn't even covered in
your press release and I... Yeah. Can I
ask you a question? Who is Tamblin? Does
he exist? 'Cause he doesn't ever seem to
come in... Yeah, okay, I'll leave my
number...
(CONTINUED)
6.
CONTINUED:
BRAD, a dapper man in his thirties, approaches and observes
Lester, who is unaware of his presence.
LESTER (CONT'D)
It's 555 0199. Lester Burnham. Thank you!
Lester disconnects the call, obviously irritated.
BRAD
Hey Les. You got a minute?
Lester turns around, smiling perfunctorily
LESTER
For you, Brad? I've got five.
INT. BRAD'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER
Brad is seated behind his desk in his big corner office.
BRAD
I'm sure you can understand our need to
cut corners around here.
Lester sits across from him, looking small and isolated.
LESTER
Oh, sure. Times are tight, and you gotta
free up cash. Gotta spend money to make
money. Right?
BRAD
Exactly. So...
Brad stands, ready to usher Lester out.
LESTER
(blurts)
Like the time when Mr. Flournoy used the
company MasterCard to pay for that
hooker, and then she used the card
numbers and stayed at the St. Regis for,
what was it, like, three months?
BRAD
(startled)
That's unsubstantiated gossip.
LESTER
That's fifty thousand dollars. That's
somebody's salary. That's somebody who's
gonna get fired because Craig has to pay
women to fuck him!
(CONTINUED)
7.
CONTINUED:
BRAD
Jesus. Calm down. Nobody's getting fired
yet. That's why we're having everyone
write out a job description, mapping out
in detail how they contribute. That way,
management can assess who's valuable and--
LESTER
Who's expendable.
BRAD
It's just business.
LESTER
(angry)
I've been writing for this magazine for
fourteen years, Brad. You've been here
how long, a whole month?
BRAD
(frank)
I'm one of the good guys, Les. I'm trying
to level with you. This is your one
chance to save your job.
Lester stares at him, powerless.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE - LATE AFTERNOON
A MOVING VAN is parked in front of the COLONIAL HOUSE next
door to the Burnhams'. Movers carry furniture toward the
house.
The Mercedes-Benz pulls into the Burnham driveway. Carolyn
drives, Lester is in the passenger seat.
CAROLYN
--there is no decision, you just write
the damn thing!
LESTER
You don't think it's weird and kinda
fascist?
CAROLYN
Possibly. But you don't want to be
unemployed.
LESTER
Oh, well, let's just all sell our souls
and work for Satan, because it's more
convenient that way.
(CONTINUED)
8.
CONTINUED:
CAROLYN
Could you be just a little bit more
dramatic, please, huh?
As they get out of the car, Carolyn scopes out the MOVERS
next door.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
So we've finally got new neighbors. You
know, if the Lomans had let me represent
them, instead of--
(heavy disdain)
--"The Real Estate King," that house
would never have sat on the market for
six months.
She heads into the house, followed by Lester.
LESTER
Well, they were still mad at you for
cutting down their sycamore.
CAROLYN
Their sycamore? C'mon! A substantial
portion of the root structure was on our
property. You know that. How can you call
it their sycamore? I wouldn't have the
heart to just cut down something if it
wasn't partially mine, which of course it
was.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - DINING ROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT
We HEAR EASY-LISTENING MUSIC.
Lester, Carolyn and Jane are eating dinner by CANDLELIGHT.
RED ROSES are bunched in a vase at the center of the table.
Nobody makes eye contact, or even seems aware of anybody
else's presence, until...
JANE
Mom, do we always have to listen to this
elevator music?
CAROLYN
(considers)
No. No, we don't. As soon as you've
prepared a nutritious yet savory meal
that I'm about to eat, you can listen to
whatever you like.
A long beat. Lester suddenly turns to Jane.
(CONTINUED)
9.
CONTINUED:
LESTER
So Janie, how was school?
JANE
(suspicious)
It was okay.
LESTER
Just okay?
JANE
No, Dad. It was spec-tac-ular.
A beat.
LESTER
Well, you want to know how things went at
my job today?
Now she looks at him as if he's lost his mind.
LESTER (CONT'D)
They've hired this efficiency expert,
this really friendly guy named Brad, how
perfect is that? And he's basically there
to make it seem like they're justified in
firing somebody, because they couldn't
just come right out and say that, could
they? No, no, that would be too...
honest. And so they've asked us--
(off her look)
--you couldn't possibly care any less,
could you?
Carolyn is watching this closely.
JANE
(uncomfortable)
Well, what do you expect? You can't all
of a sudden be my best friend, just
because you had a bad day.
She gets up and heads toward the kitchen.
JANE (CONT'D)
I mean, hello. You've barely even spoken
to me for months.
She's gone. Lester notices Carolyn looking at him critically.
LESTER
Oh, what, you're mother-of-the-year? You
treat her like an employee.
(CONTINUED)
10.
CONTINUED: (2)
CAROLYN
(taken aback)
What?!
Lester is quiet, staring at his plate.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
(more authority)
What?
Lester gets up and starts after Jane, taking his plate with
him.
LESTER
I'm going to get some ice cream.
Carolyn watches him go, irritated.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Jane stands at the sink, rinsing off her plate. Lester
enters.
LESTER
Honey, I'm sorry. I...
Jane turns and stares at him, waiting for him to finish.
LESTER (CONT'D)
I'm sorry I haven't been more available,
I just... I'm...
He's looking to her for a little help here, but she's too
uncomfortable with this sudden intimacy to give him any.
LESTER (CONT'D)
(finally)
You know, you don't always have to wait
for me to come to you...
JANE
Oh, great. So now it's my fault?
LESTER
I didn't say that. It's nobody's fault.
Janie, what happened? You and I used to
be pals.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
On VIDEO: We're looking through GREENHOUSE WINDOWS at Lester
and Jane in the kitchen We can't hear what they're saying,
but it's obvious it's not going well.
(CONTINUED)
11.
CONTINUED:
Jane puts her plate in the dishwasher and leaves. We FOLLOW
HER out the door, then the camera JERKS back to Lester
calling after her.
CLOSE on the face of RICKY FITTS, illuminated by the screen
of his DIGICAM as he videotapes. Ricky is eighteen, but his
eyes are much older. Beneath his Zen-like tranquility lurks
something wounded... and dangerous.
His POV, on VIDEO: Through the kitchen window, we see Lester
at the sink, rinsing off his plate, muttering to himself. His
head suddenly jerks up and he looks at us, as if he realizes
he's being watched.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Lester's POV: We're looking out through the kitchen window at
the point where Ricky was just standing, but he's no longer
there.
Lester turns off the faucet, dries his hands, then tosses the
towel on the counter on his way out, where it lands next to a
framed PHOTOGRAPH of Lester, Carolyn, and a much-younger
Jane, taken several years earlier at an amusement park.
It's startling how happy they look.
EXT. SALE HOUSE - DAY
CLOSE on a wooden SIGN that reads:
OPEN HOUSE TODAY
BURNHAM & ASSOCIATES REALTY
555-0195 Carolyn Burnham
The sign is planted in front of a RUN-DOWN HOME in a run-down
neighborhood. The Mercedes is parked in front of the house.
Carolyn, wearing a smart business suit, is unloading a box of
cleaning supplies and a BOOMBOX from the back of the Mercedes
when something across the street catches her eye.
Her POV: In front of a different house with much more curb
appeal is another SIGN, featuring a picture of a handsome
silver-haired MAN. It reads:
Another One SOLD By Buddy Kane
The Real Estate King 555-0100
Carolyn frowns and slams the back of the Mercedes shut.
12.
INT. SALE HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
The interior of this house is ugly, oppressive and tasteless.
Carolyn opens the front door, breathes deeply and solemnly
announces:
CAROLYN
I will sell this house today.
She neatly arranges her sales materials on a desk, then
strips down to her undergarments.
MONTAGE:
We see Carolyn, working with fierce concentration as she:
Cleans glass doors that overlook the patio and pool;
Doggedly scrubs countertops in the kitchen;
Perches on a stepladder to dust a cheap-looking ceiling fan
in the master bedroom;
And vacuums a dirty carpet that will never be clean.
Throughout all this, she keeps repeating to herself:
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
I will sell this house today. I will sell
this house today. I will sell this house
today.
INT. SALE HOUSE - BATHROOM - LATER
Carolyn stands in front of the mirror, wearing her suit once
more, applying lipstick. She stares at her reflection
critically.
CAROLYN
I will sell this house today.
She says this as if it were a threat, then notices a smudge
on the mirror and wipes it off.
EXT. SALE HOUSE - FRONT YARD - LATER
The front door opens to reveal Carolyn, greeting us with the
smile she thinks could sell ice to an Eskimo.
CAROLYN
Welcome. I'm Carolyn Burnham!
13.
INT. SALE HOUSE - FOYER - CONTINUOUS
Smiling, Carolyn leads a man and woman into the living room.
They're thirtyish, and they've seen a lot of houses today.
CAROLYN
This living room is very dramatic. Wait
'til you see the native stone fireplace!
The man and woman glance around the dark room, unimpressed.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
A simple cream would really lighten
things up. You could even put in a
skylight.
The woman wrinkles her face, skeptical.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
Well, why don't we go into the kitchen?
INT. SALE HOUSE - KITCHEN - LATER
Carolyn enters, followed by a different couple in their
fifties.
CAROLYN
It's a dream come true for any cook. Just
filled with positive energy. Huh?
INT. SALE HOUSE - MASTER BEDROOM - LATER
Carolyn stands with a different couple: African American,
late twenties. The woman is pregnant.
CAROLYN
...and you'll be surprised how much a
ceiling fan can cut down on your energy
costs.
EXT. SALE HOUSE - BACK YARD - LATER
Carolyn stands by the pool next to two fortyish WOMEN.
CAROLYN
You know, you could have some really fun
backyard get-togethers out here.
WOMAN #1
The ad said this pool was "lagoon-like."
There's nothing "lagoon-like" about it.
Except for maybe the bugs.
(CONTINUED)
14.
CONTINUED:
WOMAN #2
There's not even any plants out here.
CAROLYN
(re: shrub)
What do you call this? Is this not a
plant? If you have a problem with the
plants, I can always call my landscape
architect. Solved.
WOMAN #2
I mean, I think "lagoon," I think
waterfall, I think tropical. This is a
cement hole.
A beat.
CAROLYN
I have some tiki torches in the garage.
INT. SALE HOUSE - SUN ROOM - LATER
Carolyn enters, alone. She's furious. She locks the sliding
glass door and starts to pull the vertical blinds shut, then
stops. Standing very still, with the blinds casting shadows
across her face, she starts to cry: brief, staccato SOBS that
seemingly escape against her will. Suddenly she SLAPS
herself, hard.
CAROLYN
Shut up. Stop it. You... Weak!
But the tears continue. She SLAPS herself again.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
Weak. Baby. Shut up. Shut up! Shut up!
She SLAPS herself repeatedly until she stops crying. She
stands there, taking deep breaths until she has everything
under control, then pulls the blinds shut, once again all
business. She walks out calmly, leaving us alone in the dark,
empty room.
We HEAR CHEERING and APPLAUSE.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM - NIGHT
We're at a high-school BASKETBALL GAME. Teenage boys play a
fast and furious game. One team wearing pale blue and white
uniforms scores a basket. Perky cheerleaders jump up and down
as the CROWD goes wild.
(CONTINUED)
15.
CONTINUED:
Seated in the bleachers, next to the high school BAND, is a
group of about twenty TEENAGE GIRLS, dressed in pale blue and
white uniforms. Among them, Jane sits next to ANGELA HAYES.
At sixteen, Angela is strikingly beautiful; with perfect even
features, blonde hair and a nubile young body, she's the
archetypal American dream girl.
Jane stands and scans the bleachers.
ANGELA
Who are you looking for?
JANE
My parents are coming tonight. They're
trying to, you know, take an active
interest in me.
ANGELA
Gross. I hate it when my mom does that.
JANE
They're such assholes. Why can't they
just have their own lives?
INT. MERCEDES-BENZ ML320 - CONTINUOUS
Carolyn drives. Lester is slumped in the passenger seat.
LESTER
What makes you so sure she wants us to be
there? Did she ask us to come?
CAROLYN
Of course not. She doesn't want us to
know how important this is to her. But
she's been practicing her steps for
weeks.
LESTER
Well, I bet money she's going to resent
it. And I'm missing the James Bond
marathon on TNT.
CAROLYN
Lester, this is important. I'm sensing a
real distance growing between you and
Jane.
LESTER
Growing? She hates me.
CAROLYN
She's just willful.
(CONTINUED)
16.
CONTINUED:
LESTER
She hates you too.
Carolyn stares at him, unsure of how to respond.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM - LATER
The uniformed girls now stand in formation on the gym floor.
ANNOUNCER
(over P.A.)
And now, for your half-time
entertainment, Rockwell High's award-
winning Dancing Spartanettes!
In the crowded stands, Lester and Carolyn find seats.
LESTER
We can leave right after this, right?
The HIGH SCHOOL BAND plays "ON BROADWAY." On the gym floor,
the girls perform. They're well-rehearsed, but too young to
carry off the ambitious Vegas routine they're attempting.
Lester, watching from the stands, picks out his daughter.
His POV: Jane performs well, concentrating. Dancing awkwardly
next to her is Angela. Suddenly Angela looks right at us and
smiles... a lazy, insolent smile.
Lester leans forward in his seat.
His POV: We're focused on Angela now. Everything starts to
SLOW DOWN... the MUSIC acquires an eerie ECHO...
We ZOOM slowly toward Lester as he watches, transfixed.
His POV: Angela's awkwardness gives way to a fluid grace, and
"ON BROADWAY" FADES into dreamy, hypnotic MUSIC. The light on
Angela grows stronger, and the other girls DISAPPEAR
entirely.
Lester is suddenly alone in the stands, spellbound.
His POV: Angela looks directly at us now, dancing only for
Lester. Her movements take on a blatantly erotic edge as she
starts to unzip her uniform, teasing us with an expression
that's both innocent and knowing, then... she pulls her
uniform OPEN and a profusion of RED ROSE PETALS spill
forth... and we SMASH CUT TO:
17.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM - CONTINUOUS
Angela, fully clothed, is once again surrounded by the other
girls. The HIGH SCHOOL BAND plays its last note, the Dancing
Spartanettes strike their final pose, and the audience
APPLAUDS.
Carolyn claps along with the rest of the audience. Lester
just sits there, unable to take his eyes off Angela.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM - LATER
The game is long over. Jane and Angela come out of the gym.
JANE
Oh shit, they're still here.
Her POV: Lester and Carolyn stand at the edge of the parking
lot.
LESTER
Janie!
CAROLYN
Hi! I really enjoyed that!
She crosses reluctantly toward her parents, followed by
Angela.
LESTER
Congratulations, honey, you were great.
JANE
I didn't win anything.
LESTER
(to Angela)
Hi, I'm Lester. Janie's dad.
ANGELA
Oh. Hi.
An awkward beat.
JANE
This is my friend, Angela Hayes.
LESTER
Okay, good to meet you. You were also
good tonight. Very... precise.
(CONTINUED)
18.
CONTINUED:
ANGELA
(warming)
Thanks.
CAROLYN
(to Angela)
Nice to meet you, Angela.
(to Jane)
Honey, I'm so proud of you. I watched you
very closely, and you didn't screw up
once.
(then, to Lester)
Okay, we have to go.
She starts toward the parking lot. Lester stays behind.
LESTER
So, what are you girls doing now?
JANE
Dad.
ANGELA
We're going out for pizza.
LESTER
Oh really, do you need a ride? We can
give you a ride. I have a car. You wanna
come with us?
ANGELA
Thanks... but I have a car.
LESTER
Oh, you have a car. Oh. That's great!
That's great, because Janie's thinking
about getting a car soon too, aren't you,
honey?
JANE
(you freak)
Dad. Mom's waiting for you.
LESTER
Well, it was very nice meeting you,
Angela. Any, uh, friend of Janie's is a
friend of mine.
Angela smiles, aware of the power she has over him. He is
mesmerized; grateful, even.
LESTER (CONT'D)
Well... I'll be seeing you around then.
(CONTINUED)
19.
CONTINUED: (2)
Lester waves awkwardly as he crosses off.
JANE
Could he be any more pathetic?
ANGELA
I think it's sweet. And I think he and
your mother have not had sex in a long
time.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - MASTER BEDROOM - A FEW HOURS LATER
CLOSE on a solitary red ROSE PETAL as it falls slowly through
the air.
We're looking down on Lester and Carolyn in bed. Even in
sleep, Carolyn looks determined. Lester is awake and stares
up at us.
LESTER
It's the weirdest thing.
The ROSE PETAL drifts into view, landing on his pillow.
LESTER (CONT'D)
I feel like I've been in a coma for about
twenty years, and I'm just now waking up.
More ROSE PETALS fall onto the bed, and he smiles up at...
His POV: Angela, naked, FLOATS above us as a deluge of ROSE
PETALS falls around her. Her hair fans out around her head
and GLOWS with a subtle, burnished light. She looks down at
us with a smile that is all things...
Lester smiles back and LAUGHS, as ROSE PETALS cover his face.
LESTER (CONT'D)
Spec-tac-ular.
EXT. ROBIN HOOD TRAIL - CONTINUOUS
A WHITE BMW 328si CONVERTIBLE is parked on the street outside
the Burnham's house. We HEAR girlish LAUGHTER from inside.
INT. ANGELA'S BMW - CONTINUOUS
Angela is behind the wheel, Jane in the passenger seat.
They're passing a JOINT back and forth.
JANE
I'm sorry my dad was so weird tonight.
(CONTINUED)
20.
CONTINUED:
ANGELA
It's okay. I'm used to guys drooling over
me. It started when I was about twelve,
I'd go out to dinner with my parents.
Every Thursday night, Red Lobster. And
every guy there would stare at me when I
walked in. And I knew what they were
thinking. Just like I knew guys at school
thought about me when they jerked off.
JANE
Vomit.
ANGELA
No, I liked it. And I still like it. If
people I don't even know look at me and
want to fuck me, it means I really have a
shot at being a model. Which is great,
because there's nothing worse in life
than being ordinary.
An awkward beat. Jane stares at the floor.
JANE
I really think it'll happen for you.
ANGELA
Oh, I know. Because everything that was
meant to happen, does. Eventually.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
On VIDEO: Jane gets out of the car, still LAUGHING, and waves
as Angela pulls away. We ZOOM toward Jane as she walks up the
driveway. She turns suddenly, sensing our presence.
Her POV: We're looking at the COLONIAL HOUSE next door where
the moving van was parked earlier. The front porch is
shrouded in darkness... then a PORCH LIGHT abruptly reveals
Ricky. As usual, he's dressed conservatively. There is a
BEEPER attached to his belt, and his DIGICAM dangles loosely
around his neck.
Irritated, Jane stares at him, hard.
JANE
Asshole.
He looks back at her curiously, then raises his Digicam and
starts to videotape her.
His POV, on VIDEO: Jane, angry and self-conscious, turns and
walks quickly toward her house, flipping us off as she goes.
21.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - FOYER - CONTINUOUS
Jane enters, closes and locks the door. She quickly TURNS OFF
THE LIGHT that's been left on for her, then peeks through a
window.
Her POV: There's no sign of Ricky.
Jane turns back into the room, her heart racing... and
smiles.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - JANE'S BEDROOM - THE NEXT MORNING
CLOSE on an ADDRESS BOOK: A man's hand flips to the H page
and then his finger stops at the name Angela Hayes.
Lester, dressed for work, goes through Jane's address book.
We HEAR the SHOWER running in the adjacent bathroom. He grabs
Jane's phone and dials, then stands with the receiver to his
ear, nervous.
ANGELA
(over phone line)
Hello? Hello?
Lester is frozen, unable to speak. Suddenly, the SHOWER is
turned off in the next room. Lester hangs up and exits
quickly. A moment, then the PHONE RINGS. Jane emerges from
the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her torso, drying her
wet hair. She picks up the PHONE.
JANE
Hello?
INT. HAYES HOUSE - ANGELA'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Angela is sprawled across her bed, on the phone.
ANGELA
Why'd you call me?
INTERCUT WITH JANE IN HER
BEDROOM:
JANE
I didn't.
ANGELA
Well, my phone just rang and I answered
it and somebody hung up and then I star
sixty-nined and it called you back.
(CONTINUED)
22.
CONTINUED:
JANE
I was in the shower.
Then Jane notices her address book open to the H page.
JANE (CONT'D)
Oh, gross.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
On VIDEO: We're across from Jane's WINDOW, looking in. Jane
picks up the address book, frowning. She speaks into the
phone, but we can't hear her.
WOMAN'S VOICE (O.C.)
(sing song)
Rick-y! Break-fast!
INT. FITTS HOUSE - RICKY'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Ricky stands at his window, videotaping. He lowers his
Digicam, but his eyes remain locked on Jane across the way.
RICKY
Be right there.
INT. FITTS HOUSE - KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER
BARBARA FITTS stands at the stove, flipping bacon strips
mechanically, her eyes focused elsewhere. At least ten years
younger than her husband, she's pretty in a June Cleaver-ish
way. The Colonel sits at a dinette reading The Wall Street
Journal. Ricky enters.
RICKY
Mom.
Startled, Barbara turns to him.
BARBARA
Hello.
As she attempts to serve him bacon:
RICKY
I don't eat bacon, remember?
BARBARA
(unnerved)
I'm sorry, I must have forgotten.
Ricky serves himself scrambled eggs from another pan, then
joins his father at the table.
(CONTINUED)
23.
CONTINUED:
RICKY
What's new in the world, Dad?
COLONEL
This country is going straight to hell.
A DOORBELL rings. The Colonel and Barbara look at each other,
alarmed.
COLONEL (CONT'D)
Are you expecting anyone?
BARBARA
No.
(thinks)
No.
The Colonel heads toward the living room, a little puffed up.
INT. FITTS HOUSE - FOYER - MOMENTS LATER
The Colonel opens the front door to reveal the two JIMS.
JIM #1
Hi.
JIM #2
Welcome to the neighborhood.
Jim #1 holds out a basket filled with flowers, vegetables and
a small white cardboard box tied with raffia.
JIM #1
Just a little something from our garden.
JIM #2
Except for the pasta, we got that at
Fallaci's.
JIM #1
It's unbelievably fresh. You just drop it
in the water and it's done.
The Colonel stares at them, suspicious.
JIM #1 (CONT'D)
(offers his hand)
Jim Olmeyer. Two doors down. Welcome to
the neighborhood.
COLONEL
(shakes)
Colonel Frank Fitts, U.S. Marine Corps.
(CONTINUED)
24.
CONTINUED:
JIM #1
Nice to meet you. And this is my
partner...
JIM #2
(offers his hand)
Jim Berkley, but people call me J.B.
COLONEL
Let's cut to the chase, okay? What are
you guys selling?
JIM #2
(after a beat)
Nothing. We just wanted to say hi to our
new neighbors--
COLONEL
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you said you're
partners. So what's your business?
The Jims look at each other, then back at the Colonel.
JIM #1
Well, he's a tax attorney.
JIM #2
And he's an anesthesiologist.
The Colonel looks at them, confused. Then it dawns on him.
INT. COLONEL'S FORD EXPLORER - LATER
The Colonel drives, staring darkly at the road ahead. In the
passenger seat, Ricky is using a CALCULATOR and jotting
numbers down in a NOTEBOOK.
COLONEL
How come these faggots always have to rub
it in your face? How can they be so
shameless?
RICKY
That's the whole thing, Dad. They don't
feel like it's anything to be ashamed of.
The Colonel looks at Ricky sharply.
COLONEL
Well, it is.
A beat, as Ricky continues his calculations, before he
realizes a response is expected from him. Then:
(CONTINUED)
25.
CONTINUED:
RICKY
Yeah, you're right.
The Colonel's eyes flash angrily.
COLONEL
Don't placate me like I'm your mother,
boy.
Ricky sighs, then looks at his father.
RICKY
Forgive me, sir, for speaking so bluntly,
but those fags make me want to puke my
fucking guts out.
The Colonel is taken aback but quickly covers.
COLONEL
Me too, son. Me too.
Case closed, Ricky goes back to his calculations.
CLOSE on the pencil in his hands: He's totaling two columns
of NUMBERS. Under the column "Income" he writes in swift,
bold strokes: $24,950.00.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL CAMPUS - A SHORT TIME LATER
Jane and Angela are standing with two other TEENAGE GIRLS.
ANGELA
I'm serious, he just pulled down his
pants and yanked it out. You know, like,
say hello to Mr. Happy.
TEENAGE GIRL #1
Gross.
ANGELA
It wasn't gross. It was kind of cool.
TEENAGE GIRL #1
So, did you do it with him?
ANGELA
Of course I did. He is a really well-
known photographer? He shoots for Elle on
like, a regular basis? It would have been
so majorly stupid of me to turn him down.
26.
TEENAGE GIRL #2
You are a total prostitute.
ANGELA
Hey. That's how things really are. You
just don't know, because you're this
pampered little suburban chick.
TEENAGE GIRL #2
So are you. You've only been in Seventeen once, and you
looked fat, so stop acting like you're goddamn Christy
Turlington.
The two TEENAGE GIRLS move away from Jane and Angela.
ANGELA
(calling off)
Cunt!
(then)
I am so sick of people taking their
insecurities out on me.
The Colonel's Ford Explorer pulls up, and Ricky gets out.
JANE
Oh my God. That's the pervert who filmed
me last night.
ANGELA
Him? Jane. No way. He's a total lunatic.
JANE
You know him?
ANGELA
Yeah. We were on the same lunch shift
when I was in ninth grade, and he would
always say the most random, weird things,
and then one day, he was just like, gone.
And then, Connie Cardullo told me he his
parents had to put him in a mental
institution.
JANE
Why? What did he do?
ANGELA
What do you mean?
(CONTINUED)
27.
CONTINUED:
JANE
Well, they can't put you away just for
saying weird things.
Angela stares at Jane, then her mouth widens into a smile.
ANGELA
You total slut. You've got a crush on
him.
JANE
What? Please.
ANGELA
You were defending him! You love him. You
want to have like, ten thousand of his
babies.
JANE
Shut up.
Jane suddenly finds Ricky standing in front of her.
RICKY
Hi. My name's Ricky. I just moved next
door to you.
JANE
I know. I kinda remember this really
creepy incident when you were filming me
last night?
RICKY
I didn't mean to scare you. I just think
you're interesting.
Angela shoots a wide-eyed look at Jane, who ignores it.
JANE
Thanks, but I really don't need to have
some psycho obsessing about me right now.
RICKY
I'm not obsessing. I'm just curious.
He looks at her intently, his eyes searching hers. Jane is
unnerved and has to look away. Ricky smiles and walks off.
ANGELA
What a freak. And why does he dress like
a Bible salesman?
(CONTINUED)
28.
CONTINUED: (2)
JANE
He's like, so confident. That can't be
real.
ANGELA
I don't believe him. I mean, he didn't
even like, look at me once.
INT. FITTS HOUSE - DEN - THAT NIGHT
CLOSE on a TV SCREEN: "Hogan's Heroes" on Nick at Nite.
The Colonel and Barbara are seated on a couch, watching
television. The Colonel is smiling, enjoying the show;
Barbara just stares. The Colonel CHUCKLES at a joke and
startles her.
We HEAR a door opening elsewhere in the house, and Ricky
enters.
RICKY
Hey.
He sits on the couch, next to his father, and watches TV
along with them. The Colonel's smile fades.
BARBARA
(out of the blue)
I'm sorry, what?
RICKY
Mom. Nobody said anything.
BARBARA
Oh. I'm sorry.
The three of them stare at the TV, like strangers in an
airport.
INT. HOTEL BALLROOM - NIGHT
We HEAR MUSIC under a room full of people all talking at
once, as Lester and Carolyn enter a hotel ballroom. We FOLLOW
THEM as they pass a SIGN that reads:
GREATER ROCKWELL REALTOR RESOURCES GROUP
CAROLYN
--everyone here is with their spouse or
their significant other. How would it
look if I showed up with no one?
(CONTINUED)
29.
CONTINUED:
LESTER
Well, you always end up ignoring me and
going off--
Inside the ballroom, well-dressed real estate professionals
stand in clumps, chatting. Catering waiters serve hors
d'eouvres.
CAROLYN
Now listen to me. This is an important
business function. As you know, my
business is selling an image. And part of
my job is to live that image--
LESTER
Just say whatever you want to say and
spare me the propaganda.
CAROLYN
(spots someone)
Hi, Shirley!
(to Lester)
Listen, just do me a favor. Act happy
tonight?
LESTER
(grins stupidly)
I am happy, honey.
Carolyn's jaw tightens, then:
CAROLYN
(spots someone)
Oh! Buddy!
She drags Lester toward a silver-haired MAN and his much
younger WIFE. We recognize the Man as BUDDY KANE, The Real
Estate King.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
(shakes Buddy's hand)
Buddy! Buddy. Hi! Good to see you again.
BUDDY
It's so good to see you too, Catherine.
CAROLYN
Carolyn.
BUDDY
Carolyn! Of course. How are you?
(CONTINUED)
30.
CONTINUED: (2)
CAROLYN
Very well, thank you.
(to his wife)
Hello, Christy.
CHRISTY
Hello.
CAROLYN
My husband, Lester--
BUDDY
(shakes Lester's hand)
It's a pleasure.
LESTER
Oh, we've met before, actually. This
thing last year. Or the Christmas thing
at the Sheraton.
BUDDY
Oh, yes.
LESTER
It's okay. I wouldn't remember me either.
He LAUGHS. A little too loudly. Carolyn quickly joins in.
CAROLYN
(forced gaiety)
Honey. Don't be weird.
She smiles her most winning smile at him. He knows this
persona well, only it's never pissed him off as much as it
does right now.
LESTER
All right, honey. I won't be weird.
(his face close to hers)
I'll be whatever you want me to be.
And he kisses her--a soft, warm kiss that speaks unmistakably
of sex--then turns to the others and grins.
LESTER (CONT'D)
We have a very healthy relationship.
BUDDY
I see.
Carolyn's smile is frozen on her face.
(CONTINUED)
31.
CONTINUED: (3)
LESTER
Well. I don't know about you, but I need
a drink.
He crosses off. Carolyn, Buddy and Christy watch him go.
INT. HOTEL BALLROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Lester stands at the bar. A bartender pours him a drink.
LESTER
Whoa. Put a little more in there, cowboy.
The bartender complies. Lester takes his drink and turns to
face the center of the room.
His POV: Carolyn is talking to Buddy and Christy. She's on:
smiling, animated, LAUGHING too loud at their jokes.
Lester shakes his head. Ricky approaches him, wearing a
waiter's uniform, carrying a tray of empty glasses.
RICKY
Excuse me. Don't you live on Robin Hood
Trail? The house with the red door?
LESTER
(suspicious)
Yeah.
RICKY
I'm Ricky Fitts. I just moved into the
house next to you.
LESTER
Oh. Hi, Ricky Fitts. I'm Lester Burnham.
RICKY
Hi, Lester Burnham.
A beat. Lester looks away, scans the crowd, then downs the
rest of his drink in one gulp. Ricky just stands there,
watching him. Finally Lester turns back to Ricky: what does
this kid want?
RICKY (CONT'D)
Do you party?
LESTER
Excuse me?
RICKY
Do you get high?
(CONTINUED)
32.
CONTINUED:
Lester's surprised, but instantly intrigued.
INT. HOTEL BALLROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Carolyn and Buddy are deep in conversation. Christy has
wandered off. Carolyn is nervous; Buddy seems amused.
CAROLYN
You know, I probably wouldn't even tell
you this if I weren't a little tipsy,
but... I am in complete awe of you. I
mean, your firm is, hands down, the Rolls
Royce of local Real Estate firms, and
your personal sales record is, is, is
very intimidating. You know, I'd love to
sit down with you and just pick your
brain, if you'd ever be willing. I
suppose, technically, I'm the
"competition," but... I mean, hey, I
don't flatter myself that I'm even in the
same league as you...
BUDDY
I'd love to.
CAROLYN
(shocked)
Really?
BUDDY
Absolutely. Call my secretary and have
her schedule a lunch.
CAROLYN
I'll do that. Thank you.
They look at each other for a beat, then look away. This
situation is loaded and they both know it.
EXT. HOTEL - LATER
Ricky and Lester stand next to a dumpster behind the service
entrance to the hotel, smoking a JOINT.
LESTER
...did you ever see that movie, where the
body's walking around holding its own
head? And then the head goes down on that
babe?
RICKY
Re-Animator.
(CONTINUED)
33.
CONTINUED:
Suddenly, the service entrance opens, and a large CATERING
BOSS in a cheap suit peers out at them. Ricky hides the
joint.
CATERING BOSS
(to Ricky)
Look. I'm not paying you to...
(eyes Lester, suspiciously)
...do whatever it is you're doing out
here.
RICKY
Fine. So don't pay me.
CATERING BOSS
Excuse me?
RICKY
I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now,
leave me alone.
CATERING BOSS
Asshole.
He goes back inside. Lester looks at Ricky, who shrugs.
LESTER
I think you just became my personal hero.
(then)
Doesn't that make you nervous, just
quitting your job like that? Well, I
guess when you're all of, what? Sixteen?
RICKY
Eighteen.
(then)
I just do these gigs as a cover. I have
other sources of income. But my dad
interferes less in my life when I pretend
to be an upstanding young citizen with a
respectable job.
CAROLYN (O.C.)
Lester?
Carolyn is standing in the open service entrance. Lester
quickly hides the joint behind his back.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
What are you doing?
(CONTINUED)
34.
CONTINUED: (2)
LESTER
Honey, this is...
(laughs)
Ricky Fitts. This is Ricky Fitts.
RICKY
I'm Ricky Fitts, I just moved in the
house next to you. I go to school with
your daughter.
LESTER
With Jane? Really?
RICKY
Yeah. Jane.
CAROLYN
Hi.
(then, to Lester)
I'm ready to go. I'll meet you out front.
And she goes back inside.
LESTER
Uh-oh. I'm in trouble. Nice meeting you,
Ricky Fitts. Thanks for the, uh, thing.
RICKY
Any time.
Lester goes inside.
RICKY (CONT'D)
(calls after him)
Lester. If you want any more, you know
where I live.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - FAMILY ROOM - LATER
Jane and Angela are watching MTV. We HEAR the back door open.
JANE
Oh, shit. They're home. Quick, let's go
up to my room.
Jane switches off the TV.
ANGELA
I should say hi to your dad.
(off Jane's look)
I don't want to be rude.
She starts toward the kitchen. Jane doesn't like this.
35.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Lester enters and opens the refrigerator.
ANGELA (O.C.)
Nice suit.
He turns, and is instantly transfixed by:
His POV: Angela leans against the counter, twirling her hair.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
You're looking good, Mr. Burnham.
She starts toward him.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
Last time I saw you, you looked kind of
wound up.
(spots something)
Ooh, is that root beer?
She reaches inside the refrigerator to grab a bottle. As she
does, she moves to place her other hand casually on Lester's
shoulder. He sees it coming. Everything SLOWS DOWN, and all
sound FADES...
EXTREME CLOSE UP on her hand as it briefly touches his
shoulder in SLOW MOTION. We HEAR only the amplified BRUSH of
her fingers against the fabric of his suit, and its
unnatural, hollow ECHO...
BACK IN REAL TIME: She grabs the root beer and smiles at him.
CLOSE on Lester: his eyes narrow slightly, then:
He cups her face in his hands and kisses her. She seems
shocked, but doesn't resist as he pulls her toward him with
surprising strength. He breaks the kiss, looking at her in
awe, then he reaches up and touches his lips. His eyes widen
as he pulls a ROSE PETAL from his mouth right before we SMASH
CUT TO:
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Angela is back against the counter, drinking the root beer.
Lester stands by the refrigerator, gazing at her, still lost
in fantasy.
ANGELA
I love root beer, don't you?
(CONTINUED)
36.
CONTINUED:
Jane watches from the doorway to the family room, feeling
incredibly awkward in her own home. Carolyn enters from the
dining room. Lester snaps out of it and grabs a root beer
from the refrigerator.
JANE
Mom, you remember Angela.
CAROLYN
(her sales smile)
Yes, of course!
JANE
I forgot to tell you, she's spending the
night. Is that okay?
LESTER
Sure!
He takes a sip of his root beer, but it goes down the wrong
way and he starts COUGHING violently.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - JANE'S BEDROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT
Angela lays on the bed, in bra and panties, reading a
magazine. Jane, in an oversized T shirt, plays a video game
on her computer.
JANE
I'm sorry about my dad.
ANGELA
Don't be. I think it's funny.
JANE
Yeah, to you, he's just another guy who
wants to jump your bones. But to me...
he's just too embarrassing to live.
ANGELA
Your mom's the one who's embarrassing.
What a phony.
Jane glances at Angela, irritated.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
Your dad's actually kind of cute.
JANE
Shut up.
37.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
Lester, still in his suit, stands outside Jane's room, his
ear up against the door. He can't believe what he's hearing.
ANGELA (O.C.)
He is. If he just worked out a little,
he'd be hot.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - JANE'S ROOM - CONTINUOUS
JANE
Shut up.
ANGELA
Oh, come on. Like you've never sneaked a
peek at him in his underwear? I bet he's
got a big dick.
JANE
You are so grossing me out right now.
ANGELA
(really enjoying this)
If he built up his chest and arms, I
would totally fuck him.
Jane covers her ears and starts SINGING to drown her out.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
Lester, still listening, looks like he's about to implode.
ANGELA (O.C.)
(laughs)
I would! I would suck your dad's big fat
dick, and then I would fuck him 'til his
eyes rolled back in his head!
(then)
What was that noise? Jane.
Jane's SINGING stops.
ANGELA (O.C.) (CONT'D)
I swear I heard something.
Panicked, Lester scurries down the hall.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - JANE'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
JANE
Yeah, it was the sound of you being a
huge disgusting pig.
(CONTINUED)
38.
CONTINUED:
ANGELA
I'm serious.
We HEAR the sharp TAP of a penny being thrown against glass.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
See?
Angela crosses to the window and looks out.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
(spots something)
Oh my God. Jane.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
We see Angela standing at the window in her underwear,
looking down at us. Jane joins her and is immediately
unnerved by:
Their POV: In the Burnham's DRIVEWAY, the word "JANE" is
spelled out in FIRE.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - JANE'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
ANGELA
It's that psycho next door. Jane, what if
he worships you? What if he's got a
shrine with pictures of you surrounded by
dead people's heads and stuff?
JANE
Shit. I bet he's filming us right now.
ANGELA
(intrigued)
Really?
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
On VIDEO: We're across from Jane's window, looking in. Jane
tries to shut the drapes, but Angela won't let her.
Irritated, Jane retreats into the room. We ZOOM toward her,
even as Angela poses in the window; we're clearly not
interested in Angela. The ZOOM continues, searching for Jane,
who has disappeared. Finally, we settle on the small make-up
MIRROR where we see a REFLECTION of Jane, back at her
computer. She's smiling. Then suddenly the DRAPES CLOSE and
she's gone.
39.
INT. FITTS HOUSE - RICKY'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Ricky sits in darkness with his DIGICAM, videotaping. He
lowers the camera and smiles... then something below catches
his attention. He leans out the window to get a better look
at:
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE - GARAGE - CONTINUOUS
Ricky's POV: Through a WINDOW on the side of the Burnham's
GARAGE DOOR, we see Lester, still in his suit, digging
through shelves against the back wall.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - GARAGE - CONTINUOUS
Lester digs through stuff stored on the shelves, searching
for something as if his very life depended on it.
LESTER
Shit. Shit!
He yanks aside COLLEGE YEARBOOKS, a racquetball RACQUET,
boxes of old HOT ROD MAGAZINES, an unopened remote-controlled
MODEL JEEP KIT, stacks of old vinyl LPs... finally his face
lights up when he finds:
A pair of DUMBBELLS obviously unused for many years.
Lester rips off his jacket and tie and unbuttons his shirt.
He glances around, finding his REFLECTION in the WINDOW as he
pulls off his shirt, then the T-shirt underneath. He eyes
himself critically: Angela was right, he's not in bad shape.
Just a few extra pounds around his middle that wouldn't be
hard to shed. He kicks off his shoes and begins to step out
of his pants.
INT. FITTS HOUSE - RICKY'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Ricky holds his Digicam up and starts to videotape.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE - GARAGE - CONTINUOUS
Ricky's POV, on VIDEO: Through a WINDOW on the side of the
Burnham's garage, we see Lester step out of his pants and
briefs. Then, naked except for his black socks, he grabs the
dumbbells and starts lifting them, watching his reflection in
the window as he does.
INT. FITTS HOUSE - RICKY'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Ricky stands at the window, videotaping.
(CONTINUED)
40.
CONTINUED:
RICKY
Welcome to America's Weirdest Home
Videos.
Suddenly we HEAR someone trying to open a locked door.
COLONEL (O.C.)
Ricky!
Moving swiftly, Ricky pulls the drapes shut and switches on a
light. His room is a haven of high-tech. A state-of-the-art
multimedia COMPUTER crowds his desk, and high-end STEREO and
VIDEO EQUIPMENT line the shelves, as well as HUNDREDS OF CDs.
There is easily twenty thousand dollars worth of equipment in
this room.
RICKY
Coming, Dad.
COLONEL (O.C.)
You know I don't like locked doors in my
house, boy.
Ricky opens the door. The Colonel stands outside, eyeing him.
RICKY
I'm sorry, I must have locked it by
accident. So what's up?
The Colonel holds out a small PLASTIC CUP WITH A CAP.
COLONEL
I need a urine sample.
RICKY
Wow. It's been six months already. Can I
give it to you in the morning? I just
took a whiz.
COLONEL
Yeah, I suppose.
(an awkward beat)
Well. Good night, son.
He disappears down the hall. Ricky smiles, shuts and locks
his door. He puts the plastic cup on the shelf, then crosses
to a MINI REFRIGERATOR in the corner of his room and takes
out a cup-sized TUPPERWARE CONTAINER from the freezer,
already filled with urine, albeit frozen, and places it on a
saucer to thaw overnight.
41.
INT BURNHAM HOUSE - MASTER BEDROOM - LATER THAT NIGHT
Carolyn lies sleeping. Lester is awake, staring at the
ceiling. After a moment, he gets up, taking care not to
disturb Carolyn, and walks toward the bathroom.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - MASTER BATH - CONTINUOUS
Lester enters and switches on the LIGHT. The room is filled
with STEAM. Lester looks around, confused, then focuses on:
His POV: Across from us, in a PEDESTAL BATHTUB, is Angela.
She smiles and beckons us, and we MOVE CLOSER. ROSE PETALS
float on the surface of the water, obscuring her naked body.
ANGELA
I've been waiting for you.
Lester kneels by the bathtub like a man in church.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
You've been working out, haven't you? I
can tell.
She arches her back and looks up at him provocatively.
ANGELA (CONT'D)
I was hoping you'd give me a bath... I'm
very, very dirty.
Lester gives her a hard look, then slowly slips his hand into
the water between her legs. Her eyes widen and she throws her
head back... and we SMASH CUT TO:
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - MASTER BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
CLOSE on Carolyn, her eyes wide, listening to the rhythmic
BRUSH of Lester's hand as he masturbates under the covers.
She flips over and faces him.
CAROLYN
What are you doing?
A beat.
LESTER
Nothing.
Carolyn switches on the bedside LIGHT.
CAROLYN
You were masturbating.
(CONTINUED)
42.
CONTINUED:
LESTER
I was not.
CAROLYN
Yes, you were.
He turns to her, trying to look innocent, then gives up.
LESTER
All right, so shoot me. I was whacking
off.
Carolyn gets out of bed, repelled. Lester LAUGHS.
LESTER (CONT'D)
That's right. I was choking the bishop.
Shaving the carrot. Saying hi to my
monster.
CAROLYN
That's disgusting.
LESTER
Well, excuse me, but I still have blood
pumping through my veins!
CAROLYN
So do I!
LESTER
Really? I'm the only one who seems to be
doing anything about it.
CAROLYN
Lester. I refuse to live like this. This
is not a marriage.
LESTER
This hasn't been a marriage for years.
But you were happy as long as I kept my
mouth shut. Well, guess what? I've
changed. And the new me whacks off when
he feels horny, because you're obviously
not going to help me out in that
department.
CAROLYN
Oh. I see. You think you're the only one
who's sexually frustrated?
LESTER
I'm not? Well then, come on, baby! I'm
ready.
(CONTINUED)
43.
CONTINUED: (2)
CAROLYN
(furious)
Do not mess with me, mister, or I will
divorce you so fast it'll make your head
spin!
LESTER
On what grounds? I'm not a drunk, I don't
fuck other women, I don't mistreat you,
I've never hit you, or even tried to
touch you since you made it so abundantly
clear just how unnecessary you consider
me to be. But. I did support you while
you got your license. And some people
might think that entitles me to half of
what's yours.
She sinks into a chair, stunned. It's clear he knows where
she's most vulnerable. He sees this, and likes it; it feels
good to win for a change. He curls up under the covers
contentedly.
LESTER (CONT'D)
Turn out the light when you come to bed,
okay?
CLOSE on Lester, smiling.
EXT. ROBIN HOOD TRAIL - EARLY MORNING
We're FLYING high above the neighborhood. Below us we see the
two Jims, jogging. We APPROACH them steadily.
LESTER
It's a great thing when you realize you
still have the ability to surprise
yourself. Makes you wonder what else you
can do that you've forgotten about.
EXT. ROBIN HOOD TRAIL - CONTINUOUS
We're now at street level, FOLLOWING the two Jims.
LESTER
Hey! You guys!
Still running, the Jims turn back in perfect unison, as
Lester runs INTO FRAME, wearing a baggy sweatshirt and a pair
of faded old sweatpants. The Jims slow down until he catches
up, then the three men run together in the early morning
light.
(CONTINUED)
44.
CONTINUED:
JIM #2
Lester, I didn't know you ran.
LESTER
(panting)
Well, I just started.
JIM #1
Good for you.
LESTER
I figured you guys might be able to give
me some pointers. I need to shape up.
Fast.
JIM #1
Well, are you just looking to lose
weight, or do you want have increased
strength and flexibility as well?
LESTER
I want to look good naked.
EXT. FITTS HOUSE - A SHORT TIME LATER
The Colonel is washing his Ford Explorer, squatting to scrub
the bumper, when something Catches his eye:
His POV: Lester and the Jims jog down the street.
The Colonel stands, scowling, as Ricky comes out of the
house, holding the URINE SAMPLE in front of him.
COLONEL
What is this, the fucking gay pride
parade?
Lester breaks off from the two Jims and jogs up to Ricky and
the Colonel, out of breath. He grabs hold of his knees and
bends over, panting.
LESTER
Hey! Yo! Ricky!
(re: the Jims)
My entire life is passing before my eyes,
and those two have barely broken a sweat.
He LAUGHS, and extends his hand to the Colonel.
LESTER (CONT'D)
Sorry, hi. Lester Burnham, I live next
door. We haven't met.
(CONTINUED)
45.
CONTINUED:
COLONEL
(shakes)
COLONEL Frank Fitts, U.S. Marine Corps.
LESTER
Whoa. Welcome to the neighborhood, sir.
He salutes the Colonel good-naturedly, grinning. The Colonel
doesn't think it's funny. An awkward beat.
LESTER (CONT'D)
So, Ricky, uh, I was thinking about the,
uh... I was gonna... the movie we talked
about...
RICKY
(quickly)
Re-Animator.
LESTER
Yeah!
RICKY
You want to borrow it?
(before Lester can answer)
Okay, it's up in my room. Come on.
He heads into the house. Lester waves at the Colonel, then
follows him. The Colonel watches them go, his eyes dark.
INT. FITTS HOUSE - RICKY'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Ricky enters, followed by Lester.
RICKY
Can you hold this for a sec?
LESTER
Sure.
He gives the URINE SPECIMEN to Lester, then locks the door.
RICKY
I don't think my dad would try to come in
when somebody else is here, but you never
know.
Ricky crosses to a bureau and opens a DRAWER. He takes
clothing out and piles it on his bed.
LESTER
(re: urine sample)
What is this?
(CONTINUED)
46.
CONTINUED:
RICKY
Urine. I have to take a drug test every
six months to make sure I'm clean.
LESTER
Are you kidding? You just smoked with me
last night.
RICKY
It's not mine. One of my clients is a
nurse in a pediatrician's office. I cut
her a deal, she keeps me in clean piss.
Lester picks up a CD case from a shelf and examines it.
LESTER
You like Pink Floyd?
RICKY
I like a lot of music.
LESTER
Man, I haven't listened to this album in
years.
He shakes his head, then puts the CD case down. Ricky, having
emptied the drawer, now removes a FALSE BOTTOM, revealing
rows of MARIJUANA, tightly packed in ZIP-LOC BAGS.
RICKY
How much do you want?
LESTER
I don't know, it's been a while. How much
is an ounce?
RICKY
(indicates bag)
Well, this is totally decent, and it's
three hundred.
LESTER
Wow.
RICKY
(indicates another bag)
But this shit is top of the line. It's
called G-13. Genetically engineered by
the U.S. Government. Extremely potent.
But a completely mellow high, no
paranoia.
(CONTINUED)
47.
CONTINUED: (2)
LESTER
Is that what we smoked last night?
RICKY
This is all I ever smoke.
LESTER
How much?
RICKY
Two grand.
LESTER
Jesus. Things have changed since 1973.
RICKY
You don't have to pay now. I know you're
good for it.
A beat.
LESTER
Thanks.
RICKY
(hands him a bag)
There's a card in there with my beeper
number, call me anytime day or night. And
I only accept cash.
LESTER
(looks around room)
Well, now I know how you can afford all
this equipment. When I was your age, I
flipped burgers all summer just to be
able to buy an eight track.
RICKY
That sucks.
LESTER
No actually, it was great. All I did was
party and get laid.
(smiles)
I had my whole life ahead of me...
RICKY
My dad thinks I pay for all this with
catering jobs.
(off Lester's look)
Never underestimate the power of denial.
Lester smiles. This kid's cool.
48.
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE - LATER
Carolyn, carrying a basket of fresh cut ROSES, passes by the
GARAGE WINDOW. From inside the garage, we HEAR ROCK MUSIC.
Carolyn stops and SNIFFS the air, frowning. She peers through
the window.
Her POV: Lester, in a T-shirt and gym shorts, lies on a new
WEIGHT BENCH, doing bench presses with shiny new BARBELLS.
INT. GARAGE - CONTINUOUS
ROCK MUSIC blasts from a new BOOMBOX on the floor.
The garage is in the process of becoming Lester's sanctuary.
An ugly but comfortable 70's BOWL CHAIR has been pulled out
and cleaned off, his old hot rod magazines strewn across it,
and the remote-controlled MODEL JEEP KIT is spread across a
card table. The SHELVES that Lester tore through earlier have
been dismantled, leaving a blank wall on which now hangs a
DART BOARD.
Lester finishes his last rep, straining, then puts the
weights in their rack and sits up. As he takes a drag off a
joint, the GARAGE DOOR suddenly starts to open. Lester looks
up, squinting at:
His POV: The door raises to reveal Carolyn, silhouetted
against the bright sunlight outside, pointing a REMOTE at us.
LESTER
Uh-oh, mom's mad.
CAROLYN
What the hell do you think you're doing?
LESTER
Bench presses. I'm going to wail on my
pecs, and then I'm going to do my back.
CAROLYN
I see you're smoking pot now. I'm so
glad. I think using illegal psychotropic
substances is a very positive example to
set for our daughter.
LESTER
You're one to talk, you bloodless, money-
grubbing freak.
(CONTINUED)
49.
CONTINUED:
CAROLYN
(hostile)
Lester. You have such hostility in you!
LESTER
Do you mind? I'm trying to work out here.
(then, suggestively)
Unless you want to spot me.
CAROLYN
You will not get away with this. You can
be sure of that!
And she's gone. Lester leans back on the bench and grabs the
weights.
LESTER
(as he lifts)
That's. What. You. Think.
INT. BRAD'S OFFICE - DAY
Brad is seated behind his desk, reading a document. Lester
sits across from him, smiling.
BRAD
(reads)
"...my job consists of basically masking
my contempt for the assholes in charge,
and, at least once a day, retiring to the
men's room so I can jerk off, while I
fantasize about a life that doesn't so
closely resemble hell."
(looks up at Lester)
Well, you obviously have no interest in
saving yourself.
LESTER
(laughs)
Brad, for fourteen years I've been a
whore for the advertising industry. The
only way I could save myself now is if I
start firebombing.
BRAD
Whatever. Management wants you gone by
the end of the day.
LESTER
Well, just what sort of severance package
is "management" prepared to offer me?
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
50.
CONTINUED:
LESTER (CONT'D)
Considering the information I have about
our editorial director buying pussy with
company money.
A beat.
LESTER (CONT'D)
Which I'm sure would interest the I.R.S.,
since it technically constitutes fraud.
And I'm sure that some of our advertisers
and rival publications might like to know
about it as well. Not to mention, Craig's
wife.
Brad sighs.
BRAD
What do you want?
LESTER
One year's salary, with benefits.
BRAD
That's not going to happen.
LESTER
Well, what do you say I throw in a little
sexual harassment charge to boot?
Brad LAUGHS.
BRAD
Against who?
LESTER
Against you.
Brad stops laughing.
LESTER (CONT'D)
Can you prove you didn't offer to save my
job if I'd let you blow me?
Brad leans back in his chair, studying Lester.
BRAD
Man. You are one twisted fuck.
LESTER
(standing)
Nope. I'm just an ordinary guy with
nothing to lose.
51.
INT. OFFICE BUILDING - MOMENTS LATER
Exhilarated, Lester walks down a corridor, his belongings in
a box on his shoulder. He's happier than he's been in years.
LESTER
Yeah!
INT. RESTAURANT - LATER THAT DAY
Carolyn sits at a table, lost in thought. There are two menus
on the table. After a moment, Buddy Kane, the Real Estate
King, joins her. Carolyn immediately becomes warm and
gracious.
BUDDY
Carolyn.
CAROLYN
Buddy.
Carolyn smiles, genuinely touched that he remembers her name.
BUDDY
I'm so sorry I kept you waiting. Christy
left for New York this morning, and...
let's just say things were very hectic
around the house.
CAROLYN
What's she doing in New York?
BUDDY
She's moving there.
(off Carolyn's look)
Yes. We are splitting up.
CAROLYN
Buddy. I'm so sorry.
BUDDY
(bitterly)
Yes, according to her, I'm too focused on
my career. As if being driven to succeed
is some sort of character flaw. Well, she
certainly knew how to take advantage of
the lifestyle my success afforded her.
Oh. Wow.
(then, laughing)
Ah, it's for the best.
(CONTINUED)
52.
CONTINUED:
CAROLYN
When I saw you two at the party the other
night, you seemed perfectly happy.
BUDDY
Well, call me crazy, but it is my
philosophy that in order to be
successful, one must project an image of
success, at all times.
He smiles, then opens his menu. Carolyn picks hers up
mechanically, but continues to stare at him, enraptured, like
a fervent Christian who's just come face to face with Jesus.
EXT. HIGH SCHOOL CAMPUS - LATER THAT DAY
Ricky stands with his DIGICAM, videotaping something on the
ground at his feet.
On VIDEO: A DEAD BIRD lays on the ground, decomposing.
ANGELA (O.C.)
What are you doing?
On VIDEO: The camera JERKS up to discover Jane and Angela
staring at us.
RICKY (O.C.)
I was filming this dead bird.
ANGELA
Why?
RICKY (O.C.)
Because it's beautiful.
On VIDEO: Angela looks at Jane, trying not to laugh.
ANGELA
I think maybe you forgot your medication
today, mental boy.
On VIDEO: She falls out of frame as we ZOOM toward Jane.
RICKY (O.C.)
Hi, Jane.
JANE
(uncomfortable)
Look. I want you to stop filming me.
Ricky lowers the Digicam.
(CONTINUED)
53.
CONTINUED:
RICKY
Okay.
He looks at her, curious, his eyes searching hers. She
doesn't look away.
ANGELA
Well, whatever.
(to Jane)
This is boring. Let's go.
JANE
(to Ricky)
Do you need a ride?
ANGELA
(to Jane)
Are you crazy? I don't want to end up
hacked to pieces in a dumpster somewhere.
RICKY
It's okay. I'll walk. But thanks.
ANGELA
Yeah, see? He doesn't want to go anyway.
C'mon, let's go.
Angela starts off, but Jane doesn't follow. Ricky smiles at
her. She almost smiles back, then:
JANE
(calls off to Angela)
I think I'm going to walk, too.
Angela stops and stares at her.
ANGELA
What? Jane, that's like, almost a mile.
EXT. TOP HAT MOTEL - LATER THAT DAY
Carolyn's Mercedes is parked next to a JAGUAR CONVERTIBLE
with a VANITY LICENSE PLATE that reads "R E KING."
INT. TOP HAT MOTEL - CONTINUOUS
Carolyn and Buddy are in the middle of sex.
CAROLYN
Yes! Oh, God! I love it!
BUDDY
You like getting nailed by the king?
(CONTINUED)
54.
CONTINUED:
CAROLYN
Oh yes! I love it! Fuck me, your majesty!
EXT. STREET - LATER THAT DAY
Lester's TOYOTA CAMRY cruises through the streets. We hear
Lester SINGING along to "AMERICAN WOMAN" on the STEREO.
INT. TOYOTA CAMRY - CONTINUOUS
Lester is driving, smoking a joint.
LESTER
AMERICAN WOMAN, STAY AWAY FROM ME...
AMERICAN WOMAN, MAMA LET ME BE... DON'T
COME A HANGIN' AROUND MY DOOR... I DON'T
WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE NO MORE...
EXT. MR. SMILEY'S - CONTINUOUS
Lester continues singing along to "AMERICAN WOMAN," as the
Camry pulls into the parking lot of a FAST FOOD RESTAURANT.
Lester pulls up to the drive-thru speaker box.
DRIVE-THRU GIRL (O.C.)
(over speaker box)
Smile you're at Mr. Smiley's.
Lester turns down the volume on the stereo.
LESTER
What?
DRIVE-THRU GIRL (O.C.)
Would you like to try our new bacon and
egg fajita just a dollar twenty-nine for
a limited time only.
LESTER
Uh... no. But thank you.
(reading menu)
I'll have a Big Barn Burger, Smiley
fries, and an orange soda.
DRIVE-THRU GIRL (O.C.)
Please drive up to the window, thank you.
He pulls the car around to the WINDOW, where a teenage GIRL
wearing a headset is waiting.
(CONTINUED)
55.
CONTINUED:
DRIVE-THRU GIRL (CONT'D)
Smile, you're at Mr. Smiley's, that'll be
four eighty-nine, please.
Lester pays her. As she hands him his food, he notices a SIGN
in the corner of the window that reads:
NOW TAKING APPLICATIONS
COUNTER GIRL
Would you like some Smiley Sauce?
LESTER
No. No, actually... I'd like to fill out
an application.
She stares at him, confused by his age and attire.
COUNTER GIRL
There's not jobs for manager, it's just
for counter.
LESTER
Good. I'm looking for the least possible
amount of responsibility.
INT. MR. SMILEY'S - A SHORT TIME LATER
Lester sits at a booth with the MANAGER, a greasy kid wearing
a white short sleeve shirt and a tie covered with the Mr.
Smiley's logo. He looks over Lester's application, baffled.
MANAGER
I don't think you'd fit in here.
LESTER
I have fast food experience.
MANAGER
Yeah, like twenty years ago.
LESTER
Well, I'm sure there have been amazing
technological advances in the industry,
but surely you have some sort of training
process. It seems unfair to presume I
won't be able to learn.
The Manager sighs and runs a hand through his greasy hair,
wondering what he could possibly have done to deserve this.
56.
INT. TOP HAT MOTEL - LATER THAT DAY
Carolyn and Buddy are in bed, post-sex.
CAROLYN
That was exactly what I needed. The royal
treatment, so to speak.
They laugh.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
I was so stressed out.
BUDDY
Know what I do when I feel like that?
CAROLYN
What?
BUDDY
I fire a gun.
Carolyn sits up, eager to learn from the master.
CAROLYN
(intrigued)
Really.
BUDDY
Oh yeah, I go to this little firing range
downtown, and I just pop off a few
rounds.
CAROLYN
(embarrassed)
I've never fired a gun before.
BUDDY
Oh, you've gotta try it. Nothing makes
you feel more powerful.
(smiles seductively)
Well, almost nothing.
Carolyn is quick to pick up her cue and kisses him, ready for
another round.
EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - LATER THAT DAY
Ricky and Jane walk along without speaking. He seems
comfortable with the silence; she doesn't. After a beat:
JANE
So how do you like your new house?
(CONTINUED)
57.
CONTINUED:
RICKY
I like it.
A beat.
JANE
The people who used to live there fed
these stray cats, so they were always
around, and it drove my mother nuts. And
then she cut down their tree.
An automobile FUNERAL PROCESSION appears and begins to pass
them slowly.
RICKY
Have you ever known anybody who died?
JANE
No.
(a beat)
Have you?
RICKY
No, but I did see this homeless woman who
froze to death once. Just laying there on
the sidewalk. She looked really sad.
They watch the FUNERAL CARS pass.
RICKY (CONT'D)
I got that homeless woman on video.
JANE
Why would you film that?
RICKY
Because it was amazing.
JANE
What was amazing about it?
A beat.
RICKY
When you see something like that, it's
like God is looking right at you, just
for a second. And if you're careful, you
can look right back.
JANE
And what do you see?
(CONTINUED)
58.
CONTINUED: (2)
RICKY
Beauty.
INT. FITTS HOUSE - KITCHEN - MOMENTS LATER
Barbara Fitts sits at the kitchen table, staring off into
space as if hypnotized. Behind her, Ricky enters, followed by
Jane.
RICKY
Mom, I want you to meet somebody.
(no response)
Mom.
Barbara's eyes flutter and she turns to him slowly.
BARBARA
(pleasant)
Yes?
RICKY
I want you to meet somebody. This is
Jane.
JANE
Hi.
BARBARA
Oh, my. I apologize for the way things
look around here.
Jane glances around. The room is spotless.
INT. FITTS HOUSE - THE COLONEL'S STUDY - MOMENTS LATER
We HEAR KEYS TURNING in the lock, then the door opens and
Ricky enters, holding a RING OF KEYS, followed by Jane.
RICKY
This is where my dad hides out.
GLASS CASES filled with GUNS line the walls.
JANE
I take it he's got a thing for guns.
Ricky crosses to a built-in CABINET behind the desk.
RICKY
You got to see this one thing...
He unlocks the cabinet and opens it, revealing shelves
stacked with WAR MEMORABILIA.
(CONTINUED)
59.
CONTINUED:
RICKY (CONT'D)
My dad would kill me if he knew I was in
here.
JANE
Did you steal his keys?
RICKY
No. One of my clients is a locksmith. He
was short on cash one night, so I let him
pay me in trade.
He reaches into the cabinet and carefully removes an oval
CHINA PLATTER, which he hands to Jane. She examines it.
RICKY (CONT'D)
Turn it over.
CLOSE on the bottom of the plate: A small SWASTIKA is
imprinted in the center.
JANE
Oh my God.
RICKY
It's like official state china of the
Third Reich. There's a whole subculture
of people who collect this Nazi shit. But
my dad just has this one thing.
He puts the platter back into the cabinet and shuts the door,
then notices Jane looking at him oddly.
RICKY (CONT'D)
What's wrong?
JANE
Nothing.
RICKY
(concerned)
No, you're scared of me.
JANE
No I'm not.
But she is. Ricky studies her.
RICKY
You want to see the most beautiful thing
I've ever filmed?
60.
INT. FITTS HOUSE - RICKY'S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER
On VIDEO: We're in an empty parking lot on a cold, gray day.
Something is floating across from us... it's an empty,
wrinkled, white PLASTIC BAG. We follow it as the wind carries
it in a circle around us, sometimes whipping it about
violently, or, without warning, sending it soaring skyward,
then letting it float gracefully down to the ground...
Jane and Ricky sit on the bed, watching his WIDE-SCREEN TV.
RICKY
It was one of those days when it's a
minute away from snowing. And there's
this electricity in the air, you can
almost hear it, right? And this bag was
just... dancing with me. Like a little
kid begging me to play with it. For
fifteen minutes. That's the day I
realized that there was this entire life
behind things, and this incredibly
benevolent force that wanted me to know
there was no reason to be afraid. Ever.
A beat.
RICKY (CONT'D)
Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it
helps me remember... I need to
remember...
Now Jane is watching him.
RICKY (CONT'D)
(distant)
Sometimes there's so much beauty in the
world I feel like I can't take it... and
my heart is going to cave in.
After a moment, Jane takes his hand. Then she leans in and
kisses him softly on the lips. His eyes scan hers, curious to
see how she reacts to this...
JANE
(suddenly)
Oh my God. What time is it?
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - DINING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Lester sits at the table in sloppy clothes, eating his dinner
voraciously and drinking beer from a bottle. Across from him,
Carolyn picks at her food, watching him with contempt. EASY-
LISTENING MUSIC plays on the STEREO.
(CONTINUED)
61.
CONTINUED:
We HEAR the back door SLAM, then Jane enters and quickly
takes her seat at the table.
JANE
Sorry I'm late.
CAROLYN
(overly cheerful)
No, no, that's quite all right, dear.
Your father and I were just discussing
his day at work.
(to Lester)
Why don't you tell our daughter about it,
honey?
Jane stares at both her parents, apprehensive. Lester looks
at Carolyn darkly, then flashes a "you-asked-for-it" grin.
LESTER
Janie, today I quit my job. And then I
told my boss to fuck himself, and then I
blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand
dollars. Pass the asparagus.
CAROLYN
Your father seems to think this kind of
behavior is something to be proud of.
LESTER
And your mother seems to prefer I go
through life like a fucking prisoner
while she keeps my dick in a mason jar
under the sink.
CAROLYN
(ashen)
How dare you speak to me that way in
front of her? And I marvel that you can
be so contemptuous of me, on the same day
that you lose your job!
LESTER
Lose it? I didn't lose it. It's not like,
"Oops, where'd my job go?" I quit.
Someone pass me the asparagus.
CAROLYN
Oh! Oh! And I want to thank you for
putting me under the added pressure of
being the sole breadwinner now--
LESTER
I already have a job.
(CONTINUED)
62.
CONTINUED: (2)
CAROLYN
(not stopping)
No, no, don't give a second thought as to
who's going to pay the mortgage. We'll
just leave it all up to Carolyn. You
mean, you're going to take care of
everything now, Carolyn? Yes. I don't
mind. I really don't. You mean,
everything? You don't mind having the
sole responsibility, your husband feels
he can just quit his job--
LESTER
(overlapping)
Will someone pass me the fucking
asparagus?
JANE
(rises)
Okay, I'm not going to be a part of this--
LESTER
(means it)
Sit down.
Jane does so, surprised and intimidated by the power in his
voice. Lester gets up, crosses to the other side of the table
to get a PLATE OF ASPARAGUS, then sits again as he serves
himself.
LESTER (CONT'D)
I'm sick and tired of being treated like
I don't exist. You two do whatever you
want to do whenever you want to do it and
I don't complain. All I want is the same
courtesy--
CAROLYN
(overlapping)
Oh, you don't complain? Oh, excuse me.
Excuse me. I must be psychotic then, if
you don't complain. What is this?! Am I
locked away in a padded cell somewhere,
hallucinating? That's the only
explanation I can think of--
Lester hurls the plate of asparagus against the wall with
such force it SHATTERS, frightening Carolyn and Jane.
LESTER
(casual)
Don't interrupt me, honey.
(CONTINUED)
63.
CONTINUED: (3)
He goes back to eating his meal, as if nothing unusual has
happened. Carolyn sits in her chair, shivering with rage.
Jane just stares at the plate in front of her.
LESTER (CONT'D)
Oh, and another thing. From now on, we're
going to alternate our dinner music.
Because frankly, and I don't think I'm
alone here, I'm really tired of this
Lawrence Welk shit.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - JANE'S BEDROOM - THAT NIGHT
Jane is sitting on her bed. There is a KNOCK at the door.
JANE
Go. Away.
CAROLYN (O.C.)
Honey, please let me in.
Jane rolls her eyes, crosses to the door and lets Carolyn in.
CAROLYN (CONT'D)
I wish that you hadn't witnessed that
awful scene tonight. But in a way, I'm
glad.
JANE
Why, so I could see what freaks you and
Dad really are?
CAROLYN
Me?
She stares at Jane, then starts to cry.
JANE
Aw, Christ, Mom.
CAROLYN
(tearful)
No, I'm glad because you're old enough
now to learn the most important lesson in
life: you cannot count on anyone except
yourself.
(sighs)
You cannot count on anyone except
yourself. It's sad, but true, and the
sooner you learn it, the better.
(CONTINUED)
64.
CONTINUED:
JANE
Look, Mom, I really don't feel like
having a Kodak moment here, okay?
Carolyn suddenly SLAPS Jane, hard.
CAROLYN
You ungrateful little brat. Just look at
everything you have. When I was your age,
I lived in a duplex. We didn't even have
our own house.
Embarrassed, she quickly leaves. Jane looks in a mirror and
rubs her cheek, then crosses to the window and looks out.
EXT. FITTS HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Jane's POV: We're across from Ricky's room, looking in. He
stands at the window with his DIGICAM, videotaping us. On the
WIDE-SCREEN TV behind him, we see Jane standing in her window
as she looks across at him. She waves. Ricky just keeps
videotaping. A beat, then she starts to take off her shirt.
INT. FITTS HOUSE - RICKY'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
We're behind Ricky as he videotapes Jane in her window. She
has now removed her shirt. She stands there in her bra, then
reaches behind her back to unhook the bra.
On VIDEO: We ZOOM toward her as she takes off her bra
clumsily. She's obviously embarrassed, but she's gone this
far and there's no turning back. She stands there with her
breasts exposed, trying to look defiant, but she's achingly
vulnerable...
Suddenly, the door is thrown open and the Colonel enters,
incensed. Startled, Ricky turns around. As soon as his eyes
meet his father's, he knows what's up.
COLONEL
You little bastard--
Ricky scrambles to dodge his father, but the Colonel is too
fast; he punches Ricky in the face, knocking him to the
floor.
COLONEL (CONT'D)
How did you get in there?
EXT. BURNHAM HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
From her window, Jane watches, pulling the drapes in front of
her.
65.
EXT. FITTS HOUSE - CONTINUOUS
Jane's POV: In the WINDOW across from us, the Colonel
proceeds to give Ricky a serious beating, punching his face.
INT. FITTS HOUSE - RICKY'S BEDROOM - CONTINUOUS
Ricky's lip is bleeding, but he maintains a steady gaze at
his father during this violence.
COLONEL
(unnerved)
How!? How?! C'mon, get up! Fight back,
you little pussy!
RICKY
No, sir. I won't fight you.
The Colonel grabs him by the collar.
COLONEL
How did you get in there?
RICKY
I picked the lock, sir.
COLONEL
What were you looking for? Money? Are you
on dope again?
RICKY
No, sir. I wanted to show my girlfriend
your Nazi plate.
A beat.
COLONEL
Girlfriend?
RICKY
Yes, sir. She lives next door.
The Colonel glances toward the window.
His POV: In the WINDOW across from us, Jane peeks out from
behind the drape. She quickly pulls it shut.
RICKY (CONT'D)
Her name's Jane.
A beat. The Colonel is suddenly, deeply shamed.
(CONTINUED)
66.
CONTINUED:
COLONEL
This is for your own good, boy. You have
no respect for other people's things, for
authority, for...
RICKY
Sir, I'm sorry.
COLONEL
You can't just go around doing whatever
you feel like, you can't--there are rules
in life--
RICKY
Yes, sir.
COLONEL
You need structure, you need discipline--
RICKY
(simultaneous)
Discipline. Yes, sir, thank you for
trying to teach me. Don't give up on me,
Dad.
The Colonel stands, still breathing heavily. Tenderness fills
his face, and he reaches out to touch Ricky's cheek.
COLONEL
Oh, Ricky...
But something keeps him from doing it.
COLONEL (CONT'D)
You stay out of there.
He leaves. Ricky gets up and goes to his bureau. He looks at
his reflection in the mirror, calmly takes a cloth and starts
to wipe the blood from his face.
FADE TO BLACK.
In darkness, we HEAR repetitive GUNSHOTS.
FADE IN:
INT. INDOOR FIRING RANGE - ONE MONTH LATER
Carolyn, wearing PROTECTIVE HEADGEAR, is holding a GLOCK 19
AUTOMATIC REVOLVER with both hands, FIRING it directly at us.
She empties a round and stands there, exhilarated. An
ATTENDANT approaches with a new round of ammunition.
(CONTINUED)
67.
CONTINUED:
ATTENDANT
(loading gun)
I gotta say, Mrs. Burnham, when you first
came here I thought you would be
hopeless. But you're a natural.
CAROLYN
Well, all I know is... I love shooting
this gun!
And she starts FIRING again.
INT. MERCEDES-BENZ ML320 - LATER
Bobby Darin sings "DON'T RAIN ON MY PARADE" on the RADIO.
Carolyn SINGS along as she drives. Her face has lost its
usual resolute determination; she's actually enjoying herself
spontaneously, and the lack of her usual self-consciousness
allows us to see just how beautiful she is.
ANGLE ON the GLOCK 19 sitting on the passenger seat amidst
some CDs.
Carolyn takes the gun and holds it at arm's length, admiring
it as she continues to SING.
EXT. ROBIN HOOD TRAIL - CONTINUOUS
The Mercedes turns onto Robin Hood Trail.
INT. MERCEDES-BENZ ML320 - CONTINUOUS
Carolyn's POV: We turn into the Burnham driveway. A 1970
PONTIAC FIREBIRD with racing stripes blocks our access to the
garage.
CLOSE on Carolyn: She doesn't like having things in her way.
INT. BURNHAM HOUSE - FAMILY ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Lester's REMOTE-CONTROLLED MODEL JEEP is zooming across the
floor of the family room, expertly maneuvering corners and
narrowly avoiding crashing.
Lester is sprawled on the couch in his underwear, drinking a
BEER and controlling the car. His working out is beginning to
produce results. The room, too, seems changed: sloppier, more
lived in.
Carolyn enters through the kitchen, flushed and angry. She
just stands there, staring at Lester. After a moment, he
looks up at her.
(CONTINUED)
68.
CONTINUED:
LESTER
What?
CAROLYN
Ah, whose car is that out front?
LESTER
Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I
always wanted and now I have it. I rule!
CAROLYN
Where's the Camry?
LESTER
I traded it in.
CAROLYN
Shouldn't you have consulted me first?
LESTER
Hmm, let me think... No. You never drove
it.
(then)
Have you done something different? You
look great.
CAROLYN
(brusque)
Where's Jane?
LESTER
Jane not home. We have the whole house to
ourselves.
He smiles at her playfully. She stares back, annoyed. It's
the same look she had at the beginning, when he dropped his
briefcase, but whatever power that look had is gone. Lester
just LAUGHS.
LESTER (CONT'D)
Christ, Carolyn. When did you become
so... joyless?
CAROLYN
(taken aback)
Joyless?! I am not joyless! There happens
to be a lot about me that you don't know,
mister smarty man. There is plenty of joy
in my life.
(CONTINUED)
69.
CONTINUED: (2)
LESTER
(leaning toward her)
Whatever happened to that girl who used
to fake seizures at frat parties when she
got bored? And who used to run up to the
roof of our first apartment building to
flash the traffic helicopters? Have you
totally forgotten about her? Because I
haven't.
His face is close to hers, and suddenly the atmosphere is
charged. She pulls back automatically, but it's clear she's
drawn to him. He smiles, and moves even closer, holding his
beer loosely balanced. Then, just before their lips meet...
CAROLYN
(barely audible)
Lester. You're going to spill beer on the
couch.
She's immediately sorry she said it, but it's too late. His
smile fades, and the moment is gone.
LESTER
So what? It's just a couch.
CAROLYN
This is a four thousand dollar sofa
upholstered in Italian silk. This is not
"just a couch."
LESTER
It's just a couch!
He stands and gestures toward all the things in the room.
LESTER (CONT'D)
This isn't life. This is just stuff. And
it's become more important to you than
living. Well, honey, that's just nuts.
Carolyn stares at him, on the verge of tears, then turns and
walks out of the room before he can see her cry.
LESTER (CONT'D)
(calls after her)
I'm only trying to help you.
INT. FITTS HOUSE - RICKY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
On VIDEO: Jane lays in Ricky's bed, wearing a tank top. She
glances at us.
(CONTINUED)
70.
CONTINUED:
JANE
(shy)
Don't.
We're watching the WIDE-SCREEN TV in Ricky's room.
A CORD leads from the TV to Ricky's DIGICAM. Ricky holds the
camera, sitting naked in a chair. It's been almost a month
since his father beat him up, and there are still slight
SCARS on his face. He's aiming his camera at Jane.
RICKY
Why?
JANE
(re: image on TV)
It's weird, watching myself. I don't like
how I look.
RICKY
I can't believe you don't know how
beautiful you are.
JANE
I'm not going to sit here for that shit.
She gets out of bed, takes his Digicam and focuses it on him.
We see his image on the TV as she videotapes.
JANE (CONT'D)
Ha. How does it feel now?
RICKY
Fine.
JANE
You don't feel naked?
RICKY
I am naked.
JANE
You know what I mean.
Jane ZOOMS in on his face, which remains placid.
JANE (CONT'D)
Tell me about being in the hospital.
Ricky smiles.
(CONTINUED)
71.
CONTINUED: (2)
RICKY
When I was fifteen, my dad caught me
smoking dope. He totally freaked and
decided to send me to military school. I
told you his whole thing about structure
and discipline, right?
(laughs)
Well, of course, I got kicked out. Dad
and I had this huge fight, and he hit
me... and then the next day at school,
some kid made a crack about my haircut,
and... I just snapped. I wanted to kill
him. And I would have. Killed him. If
they hadn't pulled me off.
(then)
That's when my dad put me in the
hospital. Then they drugged me up and
left me in there for two years.
JANE
Wow. You must really hate him.
RICKY
He's not a bad man.
He grabs a half-smoked JOINT from an ashtray and lights it.
JANE
Well... you better believe I'd hate my
father if he did something like that to
me.
(laughs)
Wait. I do hate my father.
RICKY
Why?
He passes her the joint, then takes the Digicam and focuses
it on her. We see her image on the TV as he videotapes.
JANE
He's a total asshole and he's got this
crush on my friend Angela and it's
disgusting.
RICKY
You'd rather he had the crush on you?
JANE
Gross, no! But it'd be nice if I was
anywhere near as important to him as she
is.
(then)
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
72.
CONTINUED: (3)
JANE (CONT'D)
I know you think my dad's harmless, but
you're wrong. He's doing massive
psychological damage to me.
RICKY
How?
Jane looks into the camera, a loopy, stoned grin on her face.
JANE
Well, now, I too need structure. A little
fucking discipline.
They LAUGH. She lays back on the bed.
JANE (CONT'D)
I'm serious, though. How could he not be
damaging me? I need a father who's a role
model, not some horny geek-boy who's
gonna spray his shorts whenever I bring a
girlfriend home from school.
(snorts)
What a lame-o. Somebody really should put
him out of his misery.
Her mind wanders for a beat.
RICKY
Want me to kill him