Two For The Money
Writers: Dan Gilroy
Genres: Comedy, Drama, Sport, Thriller
TWO FOR THE MONEY
Written by
Dan Gilroy
Final Draft: 10-29-04
EXT. HOME MOVIE - 1982 - DAY
A DAD tosses a baseball to his SON. The boy swings, connects,
sends the ball flying. DAD smiles.
BRANDON LANG'S VOICE
That's me. Five years old. I remember that day. Believe it
or not, I remember that hit. I remember it because of the smile
that spread over my dad's face...
EXT. HOME MOVIE - 1983 - DAY
BRANDON shooting hoops. DAD drinks a Bud, frowns as he misses.
BRANDON VOICEOVER
I would've stood there all day to sink one. Just to see that
smile...
EXT. HOME MOVIE - 1984 - DAY
BRANDON runs, wears a too-big helmet and pads. A DOG chases
him as DAD throws a football -- long pass -- TIME SLOWS and --
BRANDON VOICEOVER
To pop, sports were a religion. To me, it was about purity,
a place where all wrongs could be made right, or at least temporarily
forgotten. I was going to fill the whole house with trophies
for him. There was no doubt in my mind, I was going to make
him happy...
BRANDON catches the ball. Blinding light, loud CHEERING and
--
EXT. STADIUM - 1999 - NIGHT
Our eyes adjust to see we're in a STADIUM. It's a night game.
Stands packed. A PLAY CLOCK fills the SCREEN. It's the fourth
quarter. Seven seconds left. Score: CAL WEST 31 / SOUTH WEST
NEVADA UNIVERSITY 27. A bruised and battered UNLV QUARTERBACK
gets a play from the COACH, straps on his helmet as he runs back
to the huddle. The name on the QUARTERBACK'S jersey -- B. LANG.
10 exhausted, desperate faces come close, hang on BRANDON'S
every word --
BRANDON
Last play. Slant red, right back on two. On two, Scottie.
It's a lock. A guaranteed TD. I've already seen it. So relax.
There's nothing to worry about 'cept one thing -- after we win
and they're shoving cameras in your faces, I don't want to hear
any "Hi moms." Guys, it's overdone, the fans are tired of it
and if you have to thank some one you can just thank me. See
you in the end zone.
The teams breaks, approaches the line. Loud CROWD roar.
BRANDON VOICEOVER
I'd been a quarterback since pee-wee football. Set high school
records. Won state championships. I wasn't driven by joy, it
wasn't winning as much as terror, pure and simple -- fear of
losing.
TV ANNOUNCERS
South West Nevada needs a score. Seven seconds on the clock.
22 yard line. Win or lose, this has been a spectacular season
for Lang. The big question, should he turn pro now or wait until
-- Lang's got the snap--
BRANDON drops back. A GIANT gets a hand on BRANDON'S jersey.
BRANDON pulls free, runs. OPPONENTS charge his way, BRANDON
vaults, sails in the end zone, SCORES. BRANDON rolls on his
back as an OPPOSING PLAYER hurtles in -- mid-air -- unable to
stop as -- 300-plus pounds come crashing onto BRANDON'S leg.
Sickening sound. BRANDON clutches his strangely angled limb.
BRANDON VOICEOVER
... My first thought was I can tape it and play next week. Then
I puked.
TEAMMATES surround BRANDON, many turning from the sight and --
INT. EMERGENCY ROOM ENTRANCE - NIGHT
BRANDON'S wheeled in.
INT. OPERATING ROOM - NIGHT
SURGEONS regard the leg. IVs are hooked up.
BRANDON
What's the rehab time?
The SURGEONS talk between themselves, impressed by the break.
BRANDON
When do I play again?
One DOCTOR examines his x-rays. BRANDON grabs his smock.
BRANDON
The patient's got a question!
Anesthetic haze. A wavy world is melting far, far away.
SURGEON VOICEOVER
Football's done, son...
INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - DAY
BRANDON'S in a hospital bed. Big leg cast. IV's in each arm.
MAN'S VOICE
Brandon... Brandon, it's me.
BRANDON opens his eyes, focuses on his FATHER (older, cheap suit,
beard stubble, clutching a $2 bouquet of flowers).
BRANDON'S DAD
You okay? I saw what happened on the tv. Helluva thing that
happening like that.
BRANDON
(edge)
What are you doing here?
BRANDON'S DAD
I brought some flowers. From downstairs in the shop.
BRANDON
(pressing the nurse's call button)
No, you gotta go -- where's the nurse?
BRANDON'S DAD
I'm thinking of getting into a new program, Brandon.
A NURSE comes fast through the door, watches unsure --
BRANDON
Could you get him out, please?
BRANDON'S DAD
It's okay, we're fine, I'm his father.
BRANDON
Just get out!
BRANDON tries to rise, IV'S coming loose. The NURSE takes his
DAD'S arm, leads him out to the hall.
BRANDON'S DAD
(pulling away, straightening)
He didn't recognize me. Must be all the drugs and all. Boy's
been through a lot.
(handing the NURSE the flowers)
If you could put these in some water and leave 'em in his room.
Before they die.
BRANDON'S DAD nods thanks, departs down the corridor and --
EXT. TRACT HOME - DAY
Vegas desert. It's raining. A SWNU car pulls up. The COACH
helps BRANDON out, on crutches now. A middle-aged WOMAN and
a TEENAGE BOY stand under a rusty awning, waiting to greet him.
BRANDON VOICEOVER
It doesn't rain much in the desert. Maybe it was that, or maybe
the look on my mother's face, or how fast coach left after getting
me up the steps, but I swore then and there -- no matter what,
I'd get back -- I would play again...
INT. UNLV WEIGHT ROOM - 1997 - DAY
Off-season. The room's packed. Loud hip hop plays. BRANDON
limps in on a cane. Back slaps. ("B's back!" "The man!")
OMIT
EXT. SOUTH WEST NEVADA UNIVERSITY TRACK - DAY
Sprinters dart by. Here comes BRANDON. Several months have
passed. Big ass brace on his leg. A GIRL'S TRACK TEAM bounds
past like a herd of gazelles. BRANDON presses on, possessed.
EXT. PRACTICE FIELD - DAY
The TEAM'S practicing for a new season. BRANDON'S on the sideline,
flanked by the COACH and TEAM DOCTOR.
BRANDON VOICEOVER
Doc told me it would take years to heal. One bad hit and it'd
be over. But the team needed me and I had to play to get drafted.
I figured I'd take a chance...
BRANDON looks at the field, the PLAYERS, the empty stands and--
EXT. SOUTH WEST NEVADA UNIVERSITY STADIUM - 1997 - DAY
CROWDED arena. Electrifying scene. BRANDON'S suited on the
sidelines. Kick-off. A SWNU PLAYER returns the ball.
BRANDON VOICEOVER
Every minute of recovery I'd dreamt about this moment. There
were NFL scouts in the stands. I knew what happened next.
BRANDON leads his team onto the field. Into the huddle --
BRANDON
Let's ease back into it with our bread
and butter -- TD first play. We're going
deep. Split right. Deep two on three!
(coming up to the line)
Red 38! Red 28! Set! Set--
BRANDON drops back. Blitz. Brandon about to throw when one
of his own LINEMEN is knocked into him and -- BRANDON'S off balance.
Too much pressure on that leg and in one horrible moment...
it buckles. BRANDON falls. The play whistled dead.
BRANDON VOICEOVER
...It was over. I could've gone out with class, a gritty smile
and a little wave to the crowd from a stretcher, instead I opted
to go psycho on national tv.
The PLAYER who hit him leans down to help. BRANDON grabs his
face mask, starts punching. Pure rage. A REFEREE steps in and
BRANDON slugs him, slams his face in the turf. LINEMEN yank
BRANDON off as the bloody REF struggles to get free and --
TV SCREEN -- jim rome sports show
A highlight reel plays a tape of the incident -- BRANDON seen
struggling with PLAYERS as the roughed-up REF crawls away --
JIM ROME
Welcome to the jungle! Hey clones, do you believe this idiot?!
That cannot happen! This is college football, not the ultimate
fighting championship! What we have here is too much muscle
and not enough brain mass -- this is why we need a life-time
ban! Make an example out of him! Because the sport deserves
better than this! Talk to me!
CAMERA PUSHES IN -- ECU on the TV as we hear --
BRANDON VOICEOVER
It made all the highlight films. People wrote editorials. Overnight
I became the poster boy for the "Dark Side of Sports."
The college yanked my scholarship and I was kicked out of school.
The ref piled on, pressed charges. My probation included counseling.
INT. PSYCHIATRIST'S OFFICE - DAY
A PSYCHIATRIST faces BRANDON. A clock ticks in the corner.
PSYCHIATRIST
Who did the referee represent, Brandon?
BRANDON
He represented the nearest guy I could grab.
PSYCHIATRIST
... Let's try again.
INT. WINDOWLESS OFFICE - PRESENT DAY - DAY
CAMERA moves ceiling level above a dreary space. Passing over
cramped cubicles. Murmer of voices from each one. EMPLOYEES
seen, all reading phone copy into taping devices. Sex lines,
astrology and get-rich-quick schemes are heard.
BRANDON VOICEOVER
Football wasn't a sport, it was my life. Maybe I couldn't play
anymore but I couldn't leave. So I went with it,
rode it out. Then one day, and it didn't
take long, I woke up at the bottom, and I liked it so much, I
stayed for six years.
THE CAMERA stops above BRANDON. Older. Scruffier. He sits
in his cubicle under a flickering flourescent light, tossing
a weathered football as he reads copy into a recording device.
BRANDON
--You've reached the Jessica Simpson hot line! Jessica's going
to tell you all about Nick's surprise birthday party and her
rockin' new panty line at Wal-Mart, but first, here's a little
fan trivia to win a VIP Gold Package back stage pass to Jessica's
Omnicon Hotels Summer Tour--
A bull-like BOSS appears at BRANDON'S cubicle entry --
BOSS
Got a job for you, Lang.
BRANDON
I'm in the middle of taping.
BOSS
Bauer's sick, can't update his betting line. You know anything
'bout sports?
BRANDON
... Yeah, a little.
INT. NEIGHBORING CUBICLE - OFFICE - MINUTE LATER
BRANDON enters a co-worker's cluttered cubicle.
BRANDON VOICEOVER
900 numbers, audio text, the racket had a lot of names.
Brandon sits at his co-worker's desk. He picks up the text copy
sitting beside the recording device, looks it over --
BRANDON VOICEOVER
This guy's gig was sports handicapping. Predicting winners for
people who bet. I was supposed to just record his picks.
The thing was, I didn't agree with them.
Brandon starts changing game selections, re-writing the copy.
BRANDON VOICEOVER
My picks went 9-and-1 that weekend. By football season, the
job was mine...
INT. BRANDON'S NEW CUBICLE - SEVERAL MONTHS LATER - DAY
A football is seen, rising and falling from BRANDON'S cubicle.
He tosses the football as he records a new update --
BRANDON
--Kansas City is 7-1 against the point spread versus division
opponents coming off a Monday night game. Take K.C. minus the
six points. Call tomorrow for my pro football game of the year
-- Tampa Bay versus Oakland. That's 900-656-3100. This is Brandon
Lang saying good night and good luck everybody.
BRANDON pops the tape. Dons an old UNLV windbreaker. He shoulders
a beat-up bike, walks up front, hands the tape to his BOSS.
BOSS hands back a paycheck. Regarding the amount --
BRANDON
I went 9-2 in pro football Sunday and hit my third straight Monday
night parlay.
BOSS
That's what you get paid for.
BRANDON
I want a raise to 12 bucks an hour.
BOSS
I don't make 12 an hour.
BRANDON
You're not picking 75 percent.
BOSS
If you're so good then bet your own games, get rich and send
me a postcard
from the Riviera.
BOSS pops BRANDON'S tape in a multi-line answering system and--
EXT. LAS VEGAS - DAY
BRANDON rides a beat-up bike through downtown.
INT. CASINO - DAY
BRANDON maneuvers through a bustling casino, enters the SPORTS
BETTING ROOM. He goes to a rack of printed bettling lines for
the weekend games, pockets a printed sheet, sees a SUPERVISOR.
BRANDON
Hey Stu, where's the action this weekend?
SUPERVISOR/STU
We're getting big money on Tampa/Oakland. Everyone's jumping
on Tampa Bay.
BRANDON
Crazy.
Supervisor/stu
You think?
BRANDON
That game's gonna be won by coaching, Stu. Gruden put that Tampa
Bay team together before he came to Oakland, right? He knows
every weakness of that team and every strength. He knows Brown
only likes to catch over his left shoulder and he'll have him
double-teamed to the right. He knows Gannon always throws on
a 3-step drop and the linebackers will take away the middle of
the field. Gannon'll be intercepted at least 4 times on Sunday.
(STU staring at him, pained look)
...You got sucked into Tampa, didn't you?
(STU manages a nod)
Stu, how many times do I have to bail you out? All right, listen,
forget the point spread. Oakland's going to win outright. Bet
the money line and bet big.
STU
Thanks, B.
OMIT
EXT. BRANDON'S HOUSE - NIGHT
BRANDON rides up. His younger brother, DENNY (18, Metallica
t-shirt) and some FRIENDS work on an old, bondo-pocked muscle
car in the garage.
DENNY
I scrounged some old headers, B! Check it out!
DENNY turns the key. The car rumbles to life. He revs the bored-out
engine, flashes a shit eating grin.
BRANDON
... Awesome dude. That's a righteous ride, Denny.
INT. BRANDON'S HOUSE - NIGHT
MOM'S readying for work, dressed in croupier attire, searching
for something as BRANDON enters.
MOM
I'm late. Dinner's in the oven.
Where the hell's my lucky crucifix?
BRANDON reaches to a key rack, hands it to her. She dons it.
MOM
Thank God. A man won 5600 at my table last night. Tipped me
out in color. I gave it to Denny, help him with college.
BRANDON nods, downs a carton of milk. MOM about to go.
MOM
Mail came, letter for you, from Chicago.
You just tried out last week. They got back to you quick. That's
a good sign.
BRANDON
Wanna bet?
MOM
Open it.
BRANDON opens it. Reads. Words pop out: "Arena Football League"..."We
regret to inform you"..."but based on your performance"..."staff
declines."
BRANDON
At least they kicked me a cap.
MOM
Shit.
INT. BRANDON'S ROOM - NIGHT
Filled with exercise equipment. BRANDON pins the letter to a
wall covered by dozens of rejections -- National Football League
-- Canadian Football League -- Arena Football League. BRANDON
changes into shorts. And now we see, he's in amazing shape.
Could maybe still play pro. But that two foot scar running
the length of his leg makes you wonder. As BRANDON pumps it
out we realize he still has a dream of coming back, a dream we
sense by his intensity is fast slipping away and --
EXT. LAS VEGAS - DAWN
BRANDON pedals to work when his cell phone rings. Answering:
BRANDON
Hello.
MAN'S VOICE
Brandon!
BRANDON
Yeah?
MAN VOICEOVER
Congratulations! You went 9-2 last Sunday! 20-4 college! Picking
77 percent winners since opening weekend! I've been following
you! I'm a big fan, Brandon! A big fan.
BRANDON
How'd you get this number? If you want picks, call my 900 line.
MAN VOICEOVER
What I want, Brandon, is for you to come to New York and work
for me.
BRANDON
Who is this?
MAN VOICEOVER
This is Walter Abrams. I don't know if you know me but I run
the biggest sports service in the country. Hell, I started the
industry. Ask around. Ask anyone,
even that reprobate boss of yours. It's
my job to keep track of who's doing what and what you're doing
should be rewarded.
Focus, Brandon. Focus. One day you'll
look back, see this was one of life's defining moments. Allow
me to paint a picture for you. Right now I'm getting a massage,
looking out my window at the greatest city in the world and all
I'm asking you to do is come up with a number. Write down what
you make now, cross it out and write what you should be making
and then toss in how much it'll take to get you to fly here first
class and come work for me -- did I mention free room and board
-- and speak up when you've got something to share.
(aside to MASSEUSE)
Right there. Yeah. Deeper. Yes. Fuck that hurts.
BRANDON
Do me a favor and lose my number, I gotta go to work.
BRANDON hangs up and --
INT. BRANDON'S CUBICLE DAY
BRANDON hefts the bike down the hall, reaches his cubicle to
find his phone ringing. Picking up --
BRANDON
Hello.
WALTER VO
It's me again.
BRANDON
This is a joke, right?
WALTER VO
A joke can be the ultimate intellectual pursuit sometimes. This?
This is just a job offer. In your top drawer there's an envelope
with your name on it.
BRANDON opens the drawer, pulls an envelope and a ticket.
WALTER VO
That's travel cash and an airline ticket. It's not a magic trick,
Brandon. I paid someone to put it there, who incidentally
said the place reminded him of a Turkish prison. I don't have
to tell you you're
wasting your time there, Brandon, unless
this is a part time gig -- unless you're
planning some kinda "comeback," in which
case I request you use a fraction of your
talents and weigh the odds of that dream becoming reality. Two
leg fractures? Passed on by every conceivable team in the league?
Any chump can make that call, and anyone who clears the boards
the way you do week in and week out should live in a penthouse
on Park Avenue -- which is not for you to construe I'm offering
that to start, but keep these stats up working for me and I'll
have you in one in less than a year. Unless of course you're
a village kind of guy...
BRANDON glances at the old faded football in his back pack.
WALTER VO
Run the numbers, do the math. Hold on a sec--
Muzak. BRANDON juggles the phone, searching, finds a pay stub.
Amount: $275.00 a week. BRANDON crosses it out, writes $1000.
He crosses that out, writes $1500. BRANDON pulls a quarter,
flips it. The coin bounces, spins, falls and--
EXT. JFK MOVING WALKWAY - DAY
BRANDON hefts a duffel bag -- sees an ASIAN DRIVER, chauffeur
uniform, mirrored shades, holding a sign reading B. LANG and
--
INT. MOVING LIMO - DAY
BRANDON eyes a basket of croissants and juice, grabs a danish,
takes a bite, sees the DRIVER watching in the mirror.
BRANDON
I'm gonna pay. I'll pay you--
DRIVER
--Pay me? Pay Walter. His car. I'm Milton, I drive for him.
BRANDON
I thought it was a service.
(moving to the jump seat, seeing MILTON is driving very fast)
So what's the deal with this guy? You work for him a long time?
MILTON
Oh yeah, going on two weeks.
(off BRANDON'S look)
I was bike messenger. Walter's driver hit me with his car.
I lie on ground, make it look worse than is, big car, you
know maybe get some money. Driver call me name, I call him name,
he take swing -- big son of a bitch -- so I kick his ass.
(slicing the air with his hands)
Walter get out. I say his driver can't drive, he say you're
right. I say damn right. He ask if I can, I say hell yeah.
He take hat off driver, give it to me.
Every day with Walter is...
EXT. BROOKLYN HEIGHTS BROWNSTONE - DAY
Five stories. Next to the Brooklyn Bridge. Manhattan rises
across the East River. The limo pulls up. BRANDON steps out,
regards the structure. Exhaust fans dot the second floor. Satellite
dishes on the roof. Security cameras everywhere.
INT. BROWNSTONE - TOP FLOOR - DAY
BRANDON follows MILTON through a large, wildly furnished apartment.
They pass an large library dominated by rows of bleacher seats
from the old Polo Grounds. A hot dog stand sits outside a wine
cellar. Toys tell us there's a child in the house. A cha-cha
plays from a stereo. MILTON stops at a set of doors. About
to knock when --
WALTER VO
Bring him in!
INT. WALTER ABRAMS' OFFICE - DAY
WALTER smokes a cigarette, talking on the phone as an ASSISTANT
in a separate, adjoining space handles four ringing phones.
Across the room, a large wall is filled with TVS, each turned
to a different channel, no sound.
WALTER
I'll hire the trainers too... Well run it by them, you won't
know until you try... So, they can stay the night. I'll put
'em up at the Plaza, nice suite, park view... Okay double it...
Triple it... Everything's about money. Look, on Sunday, my daughter,
an angel, turns six, it's not likely to happen again. She
loves elephants. Your circus has 10,
I only want one, my little girl's happiness is in your hands.
(beat, icy edge)
I don't need parenting advice from a guy
who doubles as a clown. I want an
elephant and I'll pay. What'll it take to grease your wheels
and get one this weekend? Hello?... Hello?" Fuck wad!
(intercom his ASSISTANT, furious)
Find Ringling Brothers! Get me on the horn with someone who
understands profit!
WALTER sees BRANDON. Something new. Full focus. He removes
the headset. Dons his glasses. Circles around.
WALTER
Whoa, look at you. The Marlboro man.
(feeling his bicep)
Jesus you're in great shape.
BRANDON
I've been in better.
WALTER
(assessing BRANDON as he speaks--)
Modesty's not a virtue, it's a vice, as evil as vanity. There
are rules to
success, Brandon, and this is rule number one, know what you
know and know what you don't know and know I gotta know everything
you know as soon as you know it, if not sooner! Smile. C'mon!
What the hell is that? I said smile. Bigger. Hungrier. More
teeth. Ever sell before?
BRANDON
No.
WALTER
If you can sell you'll never starve. Ever speak in public?
Perform? Anything like that?
BRANDON
I played quarterback in college. Division one.
WALTER
I know, I'm talking about not in uniform.
BRANDON
I used to sing at church.
WALTER
Oh really? So you're religious?
BRANDON
I don't know. I guess.
WALTER
Certain things, you either are or you aren't. Which is it?
BRANDON
When I was a kid I thought I wanted to be a pastor... obviously
not now. I mean, yeah, I believe in God.
WALTER
Relax. What do I care? Besides, it's against the law to hire
based on religious orientation. You're not a republican are
you? Just kidding.
(silent beat, staring at him)
You're scaring me son. What's with the deer-caught-in-headlights
vibe? You were a quarterback for God's sake. A leader.
BRANDON
That was six years ago.
WALTER
C'mon, you won three conference titles at a major university.
You think I went to college? I'm autodidactic. Big word, huh?
Know what it means? Self-taught. Partially by reading, sure,
but mostly by keeping my eyes open and asking a lot of stupid
fucking questions. I swear to God I'm looking at myself 30 years
ago. A taller, more athletic version maybe, but the resemblance
is remarkable.
WALTER crushes out the cigarette, sprays air freshener.
WALTER
I'm not supposed to smoke any more, among other things. It's
bad for my condition. So before I die, did you do anything other
than the sports phone in Vegas?
BRANDON
Just the 900 number recordings, it was full time, I mean we got
10 bucks a call.
WALTER
Chump change, Brandon. We're angling for bigger fish here.
You see, the networks don't talk about it and Uncle Sam can't
tax it, but sports gambling is a 200-billion-dollar-a-year-business.
These gamblers have needs, Brandon. Come Monday morning, after
a losing weekend, a lot of them have big needs.
WALTER presses a button and the TVS fill with football games.
WALTER
That's every pro game played last Sunday.
Do you know why Monday Night's the most watched game of the week?
It's because Monday's the last chance bettors have to climb
out of the hole before paying their bookies on Tuesday. Sports
betting's illegal in 49 states, including this one, but what
we do is 100% legal -- it's exactly the same as a stock broker,
only instead of touting stocks, we advise people on how to bet.
We make the big money off our client list. You see, when a
client wins with our advice we take a percentage, which they
gladly give to keep getting our picks. When they lose we get
zip. So the object here, my tall, athletic, religious friend
-- is to win.
WALTER clicks a control and his face fills the wall of tvs.
Phone numbers and messages ("FOOTBALL SELECTIONS!" COLLEGE AND
PRO!" "BASKETBALL PICKS!") flash on the screens. It's a high-octane
infomercial for sports gamblers.
TV WALTER
Hello -- this is Walter Abrams and welcome to The Sports Advisors
and week three in professional football. After a nice five day
vacation on my yacht I can't be any more ready than I am right
now. Studying the mismatches this weekend I can only conclude
they're giving my handicappers a license to steal. I want you
to take out a blank
Tv walter con'd
check right now -- go on, do it -- and write in as much you want
to cash it for on Tuesday, that's how much money we're making
for you this weekend. Year in, year out, no stock matches our
return, and for the first time in the history of the company
I'm releasing our three-team college and pro parlays absolutely
free! That's right. This is why in a business with a higher
turnover rate than Leona Helmsley's maid staff we're still going
strong after 28 years! I'm giving these picks away. 800-238-6648.
1-800-BET-ON-IT. Absolutely free. We're looking at a big money
weekend so let's get right into it with our panel of experts--
WALTER
(freeze frames himself, to BRANDON)
My cable show. Tapes Thursday, airs Saturday and Sunday morning.
Nationwide. Hell I need a new barber. The man should
be shot. Look at my hair in the back.
BRANDON
How'd you afford that yacht if the picks are free?
WALTER
There is no yacht. Good, keep asking question. Next.
BRANDON
You didn't answer about the free picks.
WALTER
I know. What else?
BRANDON
What's on the second floor?
WALTER
That's where we print the money. Any more?
BRANDON
No, that clears up pretty much everything.
WALTER
Great. Welcome aboard. We got some good stuff to work with.
ASSISTANT/over intercom
Ringling Brothers on one.
WALTER
Ever have a manicure?
BRANDON
Me? No. Why?
WALTER
Because you need one. Besides, there's a girl you gotta meet.
BRANDON
Really? What's she like?
WALTER
Beautiful, you'll like her--
(answering the phone)
--This Barnum or Bailey?
INT. HIGH-END, BROOKLYN SALON - DAY
TONI MORROW looks into CAMERA, styles an attractive, 30-ish WOMAN'S
hair as the WOMAN regards her face in a mirror --
woman
I'm just thinking of doing some work around the eyes. Tighten
it up a bit. A lift here, look, see these lines?
TONI
I see a beautiful woman. What are you --all of 35? I have a
girlfriend, she was stunning, went in to "tighten it up a bit"
and came out with a permanent smile. Even when she cries she
looks like she's laughing. Another, she's on her third eye lift.
Her skin's so tight, I swear, if you put an egg shell on her
butt she'd look like a baby bird.
WOMAN
I'm just thinking of a tune-up.
TONI
Oh yeah, first it's a tune-up, then it's something else, and
one day you'll come teetering in with your new 36Cs and a stretched
face and you won't be able to say how unhappy you are because
of all the collagen they shot in your lips.
Do youself a favor. Skip the surgery and get a shrink, work
on the inside.
WOMAN
Easy for you to say. You used to model.
The other WOMEN CUSTOMERS listening nearby nod in agreement.
TONI
Oh yeah, that's true. Those were the good days. Sometimes I
like to just curl up on the ledge with my box of retouched photos
and reminisce about rehab.
WOMAN
Tightly wound today, aren't we?
TONI
I guess. Must be the coffee talking.
(handing her a fashion magazine)
Here, read a fashion magazine. Feel more insecure about yourself.
TONI walks through the shop, checks her watch, passes a row of
WOMEN getting lunch-hour nail jobs. BRANDON'S squeezed in among
them. Only guy there. Cotton between his toes post-pedicure.
Hunched and uncomfortable as the WOMEN around him discuss boyfriends
and relationships.
TONI
... Brandon?
BRANDON
Hi.
TONI
I'm Toni. Walter said you'd stop by.
BRANDON
Nice to meet you.
(immediately, re: the pedicure)
This was his idea.
TONI
I know.
BRANDON
He makes all his employees do this?
TONI
Every one.
BRANDON
How often?
TONI
Once. Before they start work.
BRANDON
Weird.
TONI
You think?
BRANDON
I've never had my nails done before.
TONI
I can see that.
(putting his hands in water)
Strong hands. Nice. Do you drink?
BRANDON
No thanks. I'm fine.
TONI
No, do you drink?
BRANDON
Excuse me?
TONI
Alcohol. Are you a drinker?
BRANDON
I've been pretty focused on staying in shape. I mean a beer
once in a while.
TONI
Smoke?
BRANDON
No.
Toni
What about gambling?
BRANDON
What about it?
TONI
Look, I'm sorry, I'm pressed for time.
(stopping work, regarding him)
I asked do you bet. Are you a bettor?
BRANDON
No.
TONI
Really? Why not?
BRANDON meets her gaze. Gears turning. She's hitting on him.
BRANDON
Toni, huh? Are you here full-time?
TONI
It's my shop, I better be. Why don't you gamble?
BRANDON
Well I'll tell you, Toni. I bet on something once. Risked everything
I had and lost.
TONI
So?
BRANDON
I swore I'd never do it again.
Toni
You're sticking to that story?
Brandon
Hey, we just met. I sure wouldn't want to start our relationship
off by lying.
TONI
Well Walter could definitely use someone with a little resolve
in his life.
BRANDON
(leaning in)
Ya know, Toni, this is my first time in town. I'm not used to
how fast things run around here. I'm wondering if you'd like
to have dinner tonight? Let's get
to know each other without so many people around.
TONI
... He didn't tell you.
BRANDON
What?
TONI
Brandon, Walter and I are married.
BRANDON
What? Walter just said I was meeting a woman. He acted like...
TONI
Walter's got a weird sense of humor.
Look, he has a big, bright, beautiful spirit, you'll love working
for him, but he's held together by meetings. If it has "anonymous"
at the end, Walter goes. He has to. He also has to be very
careful who he let's into his life. In most ways, Walter's
brilliant -- but he can be bullshitted and I can't. So he sends
'em over to me before he hires 'em.
BRANDON
You're kidding me? Coming here... the manicure... this was an
interview?
TONI
You're swift.
BRANDON
How'd I do?
TONI
Except for an illegal forward pass,
perfect, flying colors. Congratulations. I'm late for my next
appointment.
TONI walks away, glances back, smiles and --
EXT. BROWNSTONE - DAY
BROWNSTONE. CAMERA favors the ground floor windows.
WALTER vo
The apartment on the first floor is yours. You have satellite
tv, a gym, you want to relax there's a jacuzzi tub the size of
a kiddie pool.
INT. BROWNSTONE - FIRST FLOOR - DAY
900 number office. A phone and a computer on an empty desk.
Two TVs mounted on the wall. WALTER shows BRANDON around.
WALTER
I'm starting you on the 900 numbers, same gig you did in Vegas.
You'll make your picks and record them every day, once a day
Monday through Friday and five times a day on weekends. Each
call's worth 25 bucks a shot. Right now we get a few dozen hits
a week. We should be doing triple that. I'm sending down some
test copy. Before you record it, a little advice.
BRANDON sits. Regards the phone --
WALTER
Your pitch sucks, it doesn't exist. The pieces are there, we
just gotta bust you out.
Brandon
How?
WALTER
From now on you have a new name -- John Anthony, "The Million
Dollar Man."
BRANDON
Hold on. What's wrong with Brandon Lang?
WALTER
Brandon Lang is still at home with his mother. You're selling
a lifestyle here, and John's livin' large. John's got a direct
line to God and for a measly 25 bucks a call you're gonna let
the world's losers listen in.
INT. BROWNSTONE - 900 NUMBER OFFICE - NIGHT
BRANDON studies the copy. He pops in a CD, hits record, reads
into a mike --
BRANDON
Hello sports fans! This is John Anthony in the Big Apple with
my big money picks! The action starts Saturday with college
ball and our first matchup, Michigan against Indiana--
EXT. BROWNSTONE - DAY
The upstairs window flies open and a CD sails out.
WALTER VO
Wrong!
INT. WALTER'S OFFICE - SAME TIME - DAY
WALTER turns from the window, faces BRANDON.
WALTER
What's your sales pitch?
BRANDON
What's my sales pitch? 77 percent's my sales pitch.
WALTER
Stats aren't enough! These are gamblers
you're talking to, people ready to risk what they can't afford
for what they can't have! You're selling the world's rarest
commodity.
BRANDOn
What's that?
WALTER
Certainty in an uncertain world!
INT. BROWNSTONE - 900 NUMBER OFFICE - NIGHT
BRANDON back at the mike. Groping for a delivery.
BRANDON
John Anthony here, ready to make all your betting dreams come
true! Call now and let me win for you! The point spread in
the Indiana/Michigan game's up to four, making that game a gimme--
INT. BROWNSTONE - WALTER'S OFFICE - DAY
Another CD sails out. WALTER staring at BRANDON --
WALTER
What is that shit? You spent 6 years bouncing from one dead-end
job to another. Riding to work on a frigging bicycle. Were
you making some kind of statement? What the hell were you afraid
of?
BRANDON
I wasn't afraid of anything. I was working my ass off, trying
to get back in the game.
WALTER
You are back in the game! Convince me you belong here!
INT. BROWNSTONE - DOWNSTAIRS GYM - NIGHT
BRANDON pumping it out. Music pounds on a stereo. BRANDON watches
himself in the mirror, muscles straining. He suddenly slams
the bar down, goes down the hall, grabs the mike, reads from
the copy and --
BRANDON
This is John Anthony here, and from Wall Street to Tokyo to Hollywood,
all your big money stays and plays with me! Winning consistently's
the name of this game and I always remain the same, winners on
a consistent basis, 77 percent winners! So sit back and relax
because
because it's a scud attack this weekend and I'm shelling your
bookmaker!
INT. BROWNSTONE - DAY
BRANDON bounding up to WALTER'S office.
BRANDON VOICEOVER
Game one of my three-team parlay is Michigan hosting Indiana;
the big boys at Michigan are just 2-7 against the spread as a
double-digit home favorite and with arch rival Wisconsin on deck
next week, Indiana will catch them looking ahead! Take Indiana
plus the 16 points! It's a lock!
INT. WALTER'S OFFICE - DAY
WALTER listening to the CD. BRANDON watching him.
BRANDON VOICEOVER
You want more? John Anthony's the man with a plan to make you
money! Game two goes to Florida and North Carolina! I don't
care how many points you gotta lay with Florida, lay it! They'll
win by 50!
WALTER pops the CD, heads for the window.
BRANDON
C'mon! First too little, then too much --
WALTER
It's a start.
BRANDON
Tell me what you want.
WALTER
No. What do you want, Brandon? That's what this is about!
WALTER stops. Steadies himself. He pulls a prescription vial.
Sits. Passing, pained look.
BRANDON
Walter? Are you okay?
WALTER
... Huh?... It's nothing.
(popping a pill from the vial, beat, taking another)
... Small one.
BRANDON
Should I call someone?
WALTER
Not unless they got a spare heart. I'm okay.
WALTER finds a cigarette. Lights it. Savors the first drag.
BRANDON
What are you doing?
WALTER
Courage wants to laugh.
EXT. BROOKLYN BRIDGE - MORNING
BRANDON riding his bike hard across the Brooklyn Bridge. Wearing
earphones while he listens to a radio sports show.
RADIO ANNOUNCER/keith jackson vO
--Talking about college defenses you have to include Oklahoma.
The Okie boys are 2nd-ranked going into this weekend and facing
an offensive powerhouse in Oregon.
That game and more coming up after the break.
A commerical's heard as BRANDON pedals away, glances up and --surreal
sight -- Brandon hurtling at an ELEPHANT'S ASS -- he swerves
-- looks back at the TRAINER walking the pachyderm across the
city span and --
INT. BRANDON'S APARTMENT - DAY
A TV SCREEN FILLS FRAME. A COLLEGE FOOTBALL GAME starts. ANNOUNCERS
riff a MEDLEY of analysis and scores.
PULL BACK TO SHOW -- BRANDON comes out of the shower, towel around
his waist, putting on a clean shirt. Through a ground floor
window the boardwalk can be seen. A child's party is in progress.
The elephant ambles by wearing a birthday hat, the bemused TRAINER
walking beside him. TONI and WALTER are seen arm-in-arm with
their 6-year-old daughter, JULIA. WALTER crosses the lawn, looks
through the window.
BRANDON'S switching between football games blaring from the tv.
A radio blasts scores and updates. WALTER knocks on the window,
mouths "How we doing?" BRANDON grabs a betting sheet, writes
something, holds it up -- 0 and 9. WALTER scowls. BRANDON realizes
it's upside down, flips it to read -- 6 and 0. WALTER kisses
the glass and --
EXT. BROWNSTONE - SAME TIME - DAY
WALTER catches up to TONI, walks through the party with her.
WALTER
He's a machine, all he does is work out and pick winners. Talk
about fit. Go take a peek, see him with his shirt off. I did.
He's a serious side of beef.
TONI
Enjoy your daughter's party.
WALTER
Check him out, you know you want to.
TONI
Get out of your head, Walter. It's a bad neighborhood.
TONI kisses him, walks with WALTER through the party and --
EXT. BROWNSTONE ROOF - DUSK
Satellite dishes aim at the sky. ANNOUNCER CHATTER continues
OVER, giving non-stop COLLEGE football scores. BRANDON comes
down the street, carries a bag of take-out.
BRANDON'S POV -- a second floor window opens as someone blows
cigarette smoke into the night. Activity seen inside before
the window shuts. BRANDON left staring and --
EXT. PARK SLOPE - NIGHT
BRANDON rides a bike. Wears headphones. Sunday's NFL scores
coming in now. BRANDON'S reactions indicate he's doing well.
INT. WALTER'S OFFICE - NIGHT
WALTER writing on a call sheet -- 375 calls at $25/85 at $50!"
The city's seen through WALTER'S office window. NFL ANNOUNCER
CHATTER subsides as scores filter in. WALTER flipping through
BRANDON'S betting sheets, smile spreading over his face and --
INT. N.Y.C. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
Loud. Crowded. High-end. WALTER, TONI and BRANDON at a table,
ordering dinner.
BRANDON
I'll have the bruketta and the -- this, with the pasta.
WAITER
(takes the menus, departs)
Very good, and may I say, sir, an excellent choice.
WALTER
It's bruchetta. Like little pizzas without the cheese.
BRANDON
Bruchetta.
WALTER
Don't worry about it. Anyone goes 20 for 24 in college football,
12 for 14 pro can call it whatever he wants. Ever drink a thousand
dollar bottle of wine? Steward!
TONI
It's a waste, Walter. He hardly drinks.
WALTER
It's a celebration. Just because he's out with a couple of reformed
drunks doesn't mean he can't enjoy himself.
TONI
I was a lot of things, Walter, but I was never a drunk.
BRANDON
Actually, truth be told, I've never had a 12 dollar bottle of
water either.
WALTER
He thinks we're fighting.
BRANDON
No. I just, this place is great.
TONI
--Watch out, Walter, he's a fixer.
WALTER
175 calls on the 900 number.
TONI
Did you call home? Let 'em know how you did? How you're doing?
BRANDON
I will tomorrow. My mom works nights at the casino, she'll sleep
till three.
TONI
Are you close with your parents?
WALTER
He's very close. They sound terrific.
TONI
Is your name Brandon?
BRANDON
Oh, they're great. We talk all the time.
TONI
What're they like?
BRANDON
Mom's terrific. Amazing lady. I got a little brother, Denny,
going to college next year. Complete motor head. Dad's a...
well he's a sports nut. He was, I mean, it all came from that.
WALTER
Kid grew up with the frigging Cleavers...
INT. RESTAURANT - LATER
WALTER, TONI and BRANDON finish dessert.
WALTER
I should've ordered two.
TONI
What'd the doctor say, Walter?
WALTER
Oh yeah, I've been meaning to tell you. I had a check-up yesterday.
Afterwards
he was very concerned. He sat me down, looked me in the eye
and said, "Walter, who do you like in the Buffalo/Oakland game?"
WALTER laughs. He reaches to Toni's plate, lifts a dessert pitcher.
WALTER
You didn't touch the sauce.
TONI
Neither should you, Walter.
WALTER
I read chocolate's good for you.
TONI
I'm not raising a kid alone.
WALTER
Don't get dramatic, Toni. In biblical times you'd just move
in with my brother Morty.
TONI shoots him a look and WALTER quickly sets down the sauce.
WALTER
--Wow. What a meal. Do you feel good, Brandon? Content?
BRANDON
Very.
WALTER
Yeah, I can tell. Don't be. Ever. One week's over, another
begins. The past is merely a prologue. In this job you have
to push the envelope every day.
BRANDON glances at a nearby table, catches the eye of a stunning
GIRL sandwiched between two middle-aged, overweight MEN. WALTER
catches the eye contact before she looks away. The GIRL seems
bored as the two big men heartily chow down.
WALTER
Look at that. Beauty and the beasts. What do you think of her,
Brandon?
BRANDON
She's cute.
WALTER
Cute doesn't half cover it. The girl's gorgeous. And bored
out of her mind. Waiting for some young buck to save her from
those two gorillas. Check it out. She's eyeing you again, Brandon.
BRANDON
So are the two guys she's with.
WALTER
I'll bet you 10-to-1 on a 1000 you can't pick her up, cash, if
you leave with her.
Toni
C'mon Walter. You might as well go to Atlantic City and open
a house account. You know you can't gamble.
WALTER
Who's gambling? It's a challenge. If Brandon leaves with her
I give him ten thousand dollars, that's probably more than he
made last year. If not, he gives me a grand, which I'll give
to you.
BRANDON
I don't bet, Walter.
(glancing over, look from the GIRL)
... But I do love a challenge.
WALTER
All right. Before you bust a move, just one thing...
(talks across the table, addressing the MODEL and the two MEN)
Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt but
Walter con'd
I have to know what's going on here.
You're drop dead gorgeous and your dates
look like they haven't missed a meal
since Christ died. Seriously, you
two are eating like you have a date
with the electric chair. What's the story with you three? I'm
not gonna sleep if I don't know. Lemme guess. Garment district.
The Hardy boys make lingerie and you're a model. That
it? Close? Sprechenzee English? Sit down, sit down -- I'm
just joking. I better stop before I get stabbed with a fork.
Bon apetit.
(turning back, TONI staring at him)
TONI
What the hell was that?
WALTER
I'll send over a bottle of champagne.
Toni
You'll pick up their check.
WALTER
The voice of reason. She's right. I owe 'em a meal. Hey --
here we go, Brandon, your girlfriend's going to the bathroom.
The GIRL glides by their table. Heads up a flight of stairs.
WALTER
Well get moving, slick.
Brandon
After that introduction?
WALTER
Hey, I just raised the bar. C'mon, kid. John Anthony could
close her.
Beat. BRANDON looks from WALTER to TONI.
TONI
I'd prefer Brandon...
BRANDON smiles. He walks through the restaurant, up the stairs
as the WOMEN'S ROOM door opens and the GIRL emerges before him.
She regards BRANDON. Jaded, disintested air.
BRANDON
You're beautiful.
GIRL
(stepping past)
Excuse me.
BRANDON
I just want to get to know you.
GIRL
You just want to get into my pants.
BRANDON
I want to get into your mind, your heart, your soul. I don't
see you wearing any pants in this equation.
Beat. This could go either way before -- the GIRL smiles.
BRANDON
I'm Brandon. What's your name?
GIRl
Alex.
BRANDON
Alexandria. Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.
BRANDON leans in close, talking too low now for us to hear.
Selling hard. ALEXANDRIA laughs at something he says and --
INT. MOVING CAB - NIGHT
BRANDON and the GIRL all over each other and --
INT. GIRL'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
40th floor of a luxury high rise. In the darkness, BRANDON'S
seen naked on a big bed, GIRL straddling him, body rising and
falling, pace quickening, back arching. BRANDON looks up --GIRL
silhouetted against the floor-to-ceiling windows -- city spires
sparkling all around and --
OMIT
INT. BROWNSTONE BACK STAIRWELL - DAY
WALTER and BRANDON reach the second floor landing, stand outside
a solid steel door.
WALTER
Everything you've ever done's been leading up to this moment.
Put your ear to the door. Hear that? It's the sound of possibilities.
The din of greatness.
WALTER turns the knob, BRANDON nearly tumbles through and --
INT. BROWNSTONE SECOND FLOOR - DAY
Another world. A dozen SALESMEN work in a large room. Phones
ring. FAXES churn. Numbers are called out. A half-dozen GIRLS
stroll the space, deliver betting and tip sheets.
WALTER
We use the 800 number and free tips to bait the hook. Then the
bettors are
bounced to our sales staff.
(stopping at the front desk, talking to a pretty Brooklyn GIRL)
You're looking lovely today, Tammy. Give it up baby, you know
what I need.
TAMMY smiles, hands WALTER a long list of names and numbers.
WALTER studies the sheet as he walks BRANDON through the room.
WALTER
This is the day's phone sheet, it's a list of everyone who's
called. Only way to keep track of the action. All leads equal
money.
BRANDON'S POV -- walking by SALESMEN doing their thing. The
first is a chain smoker, battering ram tone. This is SOUTHIE.
Southie
Did I not tell you that game was going over the total? Now stop
holding back and let's make some serious dough...
What's our game plan this week? Look, Mr. Mitch, collect from
your bookie, wire our pitiful frigging share and then we'll discuss
the goddamn game plan.
The second MAN'S HERBIE. Slight. Polite. Soothing tone.
HERBIE
Trust me, we're going to turn all this around... I'm aware last
weekend was difficult... Well of course I do, that's a substantial
sum--
(cupping the phone, to WALTER)
--He's a bit miffed about our picks
WALTER
Fuck him if he can't take a joke.
BRANDON
You're telling me that all this is legal?
WALTER
It better be. Five of these guys are off-duty cops. We're just
advising people how to bet, not making the bets for 'em.
C'mon, I want you to hear our best salesman, Reggie Hawks.
REGGIE/INTO PHONE
--It says here your minimum bet's five grand, so let's be honest
now, can you
move 50 large on this game or not?... I don't have time for
this shit, Jimmy. I
know you're a loser, because if you
were such a big winner you wouldn't have paid money to call me
today. Vegas is calling, I'm putting you on hold.
(pressing hold)
What's up big Wally, you slummin' today!
This the new kid?
WALTER
Brandon Lang, meet Reggie.
REGGIE
You're the QB that went off on the refs.
(BRANDON shamefully nods)
--Yeah, but you covered! Shit, as much money as the refs cost
us every year, that was pure. Totally crystal. Hell, I like
you already. Even if you did get the best office.
WALTER
(re: an item on the sports ticker)
Barker's not playing this weekend?
REGGIE
Hamstring.
BRANDON
No, he's in the middle of renegotiating. It's a tantrum, he'll
play Sunday.
WALTER and REGGIE exchange a glance, they can use that and --
ANGLE ON -- TWO GLASSED-IN OFFICES overlooking the sales room.
One office is crammed with clutter, bears a prominent KEEP
OUT sign on the door. Inside, a big, bearded MAN wolfs a breakfast
burrito, scours the sports pages. In the other office sits a
suited, studious-looking MAN in his 30s, talking on a headset--
INT. OFFICE OVERLOOKING SALES ROOM - SAME TIME - DAY
JERRY SYKES types stats into a computer as he fields a call.
Three other computer screens flash football info and data.
Large, complex wall graphs chart esoteric team trends. A framed
promotional picture shows JERRY standing in a bank vault, the
banner type below reading "Jerry 'The Source' Sykes, Creator
of The Sykes Sports Wagering System."
JERRY
(typing on a computer as he speaks)
--I know it's a new stadium, I'm asking if they used Astroturf
or Astroplay?... Astroplay, it has a rubber silica base, like
ground up tires... Look, I don't have time to explain abrasion
indexes and resistance scales to you, trust me, it makes a big
fucking difference...
(looking through the glass, seeing WALTER showing BRANDON around)
So bribe a security guard, sneak in with the grounds crew, do
what you have to -- this is what I pay you for.
INT. ENCLOSED OFFICE - SECOND FLOOR - DAY
WALTER and BRANDON enter. It's spacious. Nicely appointed.
A glass partition overlooks the sales room.
WALTER
I had three guys who picked games. I fired one last weekend.
I'm giving you his job. This is your office. From here out
your picks are going straight to our biggest customers. How
do you like it?
BRANDON
What's not to like?
JERRY SYKES appears at the door. Fast glance at BRANDON, attention
to WALTER --
JERRY
The Miami/New York point spread shifted a half tick up to 10.
WALTER
What do you think?
JERRY
Miami's still a lock. The win/loss ratios and RPI ratings are
off the charts. I'm keeping it on my sheet.
WALTER
Jerry's our top handicapper, came to me straight out of grad
school. Jerry, meet the new kid in town.
JERRY
Whoa, phone guy makes good. Big jump from the 900 numbers.
Watch out you don't get a nose bleed. Just kidding, best of
luck, I gotta get back to work.
BRANDON
Pleasure meeting you. By the way, Jerry, New York's gonna win
straight up. They always play the fish tight. Tonight it's
foregone, they win outright.
JERRY
Really? Listen up, stick to college, sonny. You have to work
up to pro ball around here. Nice try though.
WALTER
(watching JERRY walk away)
I got three guys who can handicap and 20 who can sell but I never
had one who could do both, not really, not until now.
BRANDON
You mean me?
WALTER
Not you. John Anthony.
BRANDON
John Anthony doesn't exist.
WALTER
That's a shock 'cause I'm standing in his office and you're sitting
in his chair!
BRANDON
Look, making predictions is one thing -- but pushing people to
bet, it's not me.
WALTER
Pushing people? Get real, this country was built on gambling.
Look at Wall Street -- one big casino. The state spends millions
hawking the lottery. If people want to pay for advice on who
to bet, who are we to say no? Stop being selfish, spread the
word! Check your bible, Brandon, tis better to give than receive.
BRANDON
You got a whole room full of salesmen.
WALTER
Big bettors don't want to talk to a middle man, they want to
speak to the guy making the picks -- and you're picking 80 percent
winners.
WALTER CON'D
What's the matter? Gonna lose your purity? C'mon, what do you
think selling is? We're just talking a few well-timed phrases.
Let's start with an easy one. A throw-away. "I don't want
your money, I want your bookie's fucking money?"
BRANDON
I don't want your money --
WALTER
--Jesus, don't start that shit again. Sell me.
BRANDON
I don't want your money, I want your bookie's money!
WALTER
What happened to the fuck?
BRANDON
Nothing, I just don't talk like that.
WALTER
I can't have someone working for me who can't say fuck.
BRANDON
It's not that I can't. Why do I have to?
WALTER
Because there's no other fucking word that can convey the precise
feeling and fucking flavor of life's various predicaments and
certain concepts the way a well-placed fuck can. Fuck is your
friend. Fuck can be your best friend.
BRANDON
I'm happy for you and your friend, Walter, but I'm not using
it.
WALTER
Chaucer used it 600 years ago. It was good enough for him.
C'mon--
(calling out to the SALESMEN)
--this fucking guy has a problem saying fuck!
A chorus of "Fuck yous" fill the air.
WALTER
C'mon, repeat after me -- fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck he,
fuck she, fuck me, fuck them, fuck me -- try it.
BRANDON
It's not me. Let it go.
WALTER
Backbone. Almost as good. We'll keep working on the other thing...
So, you really like New York in tonight's game?
EXT. MANHATTAN - MID-DAY
Looking down Fifth. Thousands of heads in a hurry to get somewhere.
Here comes BRANDON and WALTER.
BRANDON
Where are we going?
WALTER
Continue your education.
INT. MANHATTAN APARTMENT BUILDING - DAY
A dozen people fill an upscale living room. Doorbell. A well
dressed WOMAN answers. WALTER and BRANDON stand before her.
WALTER
We're here for the gambler's anonymous meeting...
INT. MANHATTAN APARTMENT - DAY
The GROUP sit in a circle, listen as a BUSINESSMAN, near tears,
gives his testimony.
BUSINESSMAN
...I mean you'd think with two mortgages out, repo guys staking
out my car, my job on the line and my wife threatening to leave,
you'd think I'd have the goddamn brains to stop, instead of staying
in the chase, doubling down, which of course is what I did...
I know I'm sick because I keep thinking if I just pulled that
game out then I got a lock on the parlay and I'm flush going
into Monday night and--
(breaking down, unable to continue)
MEMBER #1
... It's a disease, Leon.
MEMBER #2
Admitting you have a problem is the first
step.
BUSINESSMAN/LEON
Then I guess I'm doing pretty good because I got one big fucking
problem.
Someone claps. Everyone joins in. LEON smiles. Warm beat.
WALTER suddenly stands. BRANDON watches, concerned.
WALTER
My name's Walter. I'm new to the group.
(various "hellos")
Hi. I've been going to meetings like this for 18 years. Once
a week, every Friday night, for 18 years. This, my friends,
is my 936th consecutive meeting.
(enthusiastic applause)
Thank you. Thanks. And my hand to God, I haven't been to a
track, casino or bet a game that whole time. Not a cent.
(murmurs of approval)
I've listened to thousands of sob stories by people like Leon
here, and I gotta say, Leon -- if I learned one thing it's that
gambling is not your problem.
LEON
It's not?
WALTER
Not even close. You're a lemon. Like a bad car, there's something
inherently defective in you. And you. And me! All of us here
-- we're lemons! Big, juicy, acidic, ice-tea flavoring lemons!
We look like everyone else but we're defective because when
most people make a bet they want to win, while we, the degenerate
gamblers of the world, we're subconsciously playing to lose.
All humans like going to the edge of the abyss, but what makes
us different is we go all the way and hurl ourselves off into
the void! And we like doing it so much we do it time after time
after time! Me? I always felt most alive when they were raking
away the chips, and every one here knows what I'm talking about.
People like us, even when we win, it's just a matter of time
before we give it all back. But when we lose, and I mean the
kind of loss that makes your asshole pucker to the size of a
decimal point, there's a moment when you're standing there and
you've just recreated the worst possible nightmare this side
of malignant cancer for the 20th goddamn time and you suddenly
realize -- hey, I'm still here, I'm still breathing, I'm still
alive! In order to really live you have to be aware of your
own mortality -- and a losing bet of a certain size is one of
the best ways
WALTER CON'D
I know of getting that feeling. When you win, you defy death,
but when you lose,
you survive it, and that's remarkable!
Us lemons, we fuck shit up on purpose! We need to constantly
remind ourselves
that we're alive! Gambling's not the problem, Leon, your fucked
up need to feel something, to convince yourself you exist, to
test what's really real, that's the problem!
BICYCLE MESSENGER
Hey! You're the guy I see on tv every weekend selling betting
picks!
WALTER
... Yeah. So?
This guy peddles a tout service on tv.
WALTER
Check the charter, buddy, we all left our jobs at the door.
You gonna toss an ex-alcoholic bartender out of an AA meeting?
BICYCLE MESSENGER
(to BRANDON)
Hey, didn't you come with this jerk?
BRANDON
... No, I mean, we walked in together --
WALTER
(handing out business cards)
-- My card -- we're topping 80 percent this season -- put it
in your wallet, in case you fall off the wagon --
INT. APARTMENT ELEVATOR - DAY
WALTER and BRANDON riding down in silence. Finally --
BRANDON
What the fuck was that?!
WALTER
... What'd you just say?
BRANDON
You heard me! I said what was that?
WALTER
No, you said "What the fuck?" That's what you said.
BRANDON
So?
WALTER
That was great! It was all worth it! Don't you see? I felt
your anger because of that one word! Well done! I'm proud of
you! The progress you're making Brandon, I gotta say, it's exhilerating!
OMIT
INT. SALESROOM - DAY
Cacophony of calls. Building buzz. College football games play
in the BG. The big, bearded MAN exits his pack-rat cluttered
work space, strides to the office coffee machine, pours a quick
cup. BRANDON approaches, extends a hand.
BRANDON
Hey, I stopped by to say hi, I'm Brandon.
BIG MAN
(averting his gaze, walking past)
Congratulations.
BRANDON
I'm picking now with you and Jerry.
CHUCK
(ducking back into his office)
Whatever.
The MAN shuts the door, leaves BRANDON looking at the KEEP OUT
sign. SOUTHIE stops for a coffee, has seen the exchange.
SOUTHIE
Don't take it personal. Chuck's got a condition, get's anxious
around people.
CHUCK closes his blinds, blocks out his glassed-in walls and--
INT. BRANDON'S OFFICE - DAY
BRANDON'S poring over sports pages and injury reports when
TAMMY enters his office, sits on his desk, extends a lead sheet.
TAMMY
His name's Amir, he's a dime bettor. Owns a dry cleaners. We
got him for the subscription. He's on line three.
(leans in, gives BRANDON a kiss)
TAMMY
Walter wanted your first call to be special. Go get 'em tiger.
BRANDON
(picking up)
Amir, my man, John Anthony here!
INT. NEW JERSEY DRY CLEANER - DAY
A MIDDLE EASTERN MAN (ratty t-shirt, beard stubble, sleepless
look) stands in the back of a low-end dry cleaners.
AMIR
Yes, hello.
BRANDON
Today's your day, Amir! It's a Pamplona thing, I'm running wild
in the streets this weekend! Starting with the hottest Saturday
of my life! How much can you lay with your bookie? 20 large?
Amir
You crazy? No way. I was betting a thousand a game but... Look,
I saw an ad. I was just calling to see--
BRANDON
--Amir, this is my lock of a lifetime! Texas plus the six points!
They win by two touchdowns!
Amir
Really? I like Oklahoma in that game.
BRANDON
(looks up, sees WALTER watching)
Oklahoma huh? Okay... well considering that, I like Texas even
more now.
Amir
I shouldn't have called. Thank you for--
BRANDON
--Amir, buddy, I'm talking about banging out the biggest win
of your life.
WALTER crosses, whispers to BRANDON. Into the phone:
BRANDON
Hold on, I got Vegas on the line.
(pressing HOLD)
WALTER
There's only one thing you have to know about any of our clients
-- they're all in the hole. The second they pick up the phone,
wham! Right to the point! You're above them! Let 'em feel
it! More confidence! More John Anthony!
(punches speaker phone)
BRANDON/into phone
Amir, what's your favorite drink?
AMIR
Favorite drink? I dunno, Pina Colada.
BRANDON
Tomorrow we gotta get you a new drink. But for now, this is
what you're gonna do. First, you're going to bet 20 large on
Texas, then you're going to put on a
Hawaiian shirt, whip up your sweet little rum concoction with
the orange slice and
the cherry, turn on the game and play
with the little umbrella while you sit
back and watch Texas tear those Okies a
new asshole -- and when you call me back
after winning 20 G's the first thing out out of your mouth will
be words every fratboy knows -- "Thank you, sir, may I have another!"
AMIR
... What about payment?
BRANDON
Good question. What about it?
Amir
Well how much is this going to cost me?
BRANDON
We take a percentage if WE win, Amir -- not exactly your problem
of late, is it?
Amir
What if I don't pay?
BRANDON
It's simple, you don't get any more picks. Comprende? So make
the bet, make the drink and let's roll this into
something big!
INT. BRANDON'S OFFICE - NIGHT
BRANDON jamming, using a phone headset.
BRANDON
To hell with power ratings -- McNab lost his dog yesterday!
Hunting accident. Everyone knows you don't mess with a man who
just lost his dog! Take Atlanta plus the points and send me
ten thou Western Union by tomorrow, Stan -- let's ride this wave
into Sunday!
(punching a new call)
Denny! Sorry to keep you on hold, bro... Hell yeah it takes
pictures, bitchen
little phone, huh? Now I got something else for ya, Green Bay
against Minnesota, take the Cheesheads... That's right -- go
to a sports book and put 500 hundred on 'em... So I'll send you
the money to bet... Don't worry about it, just JPEG your big
brother a smile when you win.
INT. SALES ROOM - DAY
WALTER paces like a hyped-up Ahab as his SALESMEN jam.
SOUTHIE
Billy, thanks for the 15,000 Fed Ex. What're you up, 160 or something?
Did you ever go 12-2 betting college football before? Didn't
think so. Now, Greenbay--Dallas--Cleveland--100,000 across the
board, got it?
REGGIE
The fuck do you care how he does it? And where the hell's our
30 grand for hitting that 3-team college parlay last night?
HERBIE
(sipping a cup of tea)
Do this, call your off-shore sports book right now and put the
whole 100,000 on Green Bay-Dallas-Cleveland, it's called a three-team
parlay and pays 6-1. I do appreciate the 40,000 you sent us
today, but let me assure you we've only just begun to make serious
money.
INT. WALTER'S OFFICE - DAY
NFL GAMES fill the TV screens. Theme music, announcers and action
create a frenetic pace.
TIME LAPSE
SAME SHOT. LATER. Sunday sports start winding down and --
TIME LAPSE
SAME SHOT. LATER. All the screens are dark save one, where
the last game of the day finally ends in overtime and --
INT. BRANDON'S OFFICE - NIGHT
BRANDON pulls the headset, heads out to the water fountain.
SALESMEN work the phones, glance at him as he passes.
Herbie
... Hey -- great job.
INT. WALTER'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
TONI in the kitchen cooking pasta. Moving fast. BRANDON sits
in the living room, watches JULIA ride WALTER like a horse.
Music on the stereo.
JULIA
Faster daddy!
WALTER crawls around the room, stops before BRANDON, grins.
WALTER
10-2 in pro football? 85 percent for the weekend? Jesus, you're
a mutant.
JULIA
Go daddy!
WALTER whinnies like a horse, keeps crawling. BRANDON goes into
the kitchen. TONI cooking at the stove, referring to a daily
planner, talking on the phone.
TONI
Monday's no good because I take Julia to ballet. Tuesday I work
late at the salon. Wednesday's a maybe if I can move a couple
clients to after six but I'll have to check. I really want to
come in with him. Listen, I have to call you back tomorrow.
(grabbing a pot about to boil over)
BRANDON
What's all the commotion?
TONI
The doctor, thank God, put Walter,on an exercise program. I
want to be there the first time he goes. Make sure the trainer
understands Walter's aversion to consistency.
BRANDON
Aversion to consistency?
TONI
He's always been that way.
BRANDON
Well that's consistent.
CLOSE ON -- WALTER watches from the living room -- sees TONI
and BRANDON laughing, enjoying each other and --
INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
WALTER, TONI and BRANDON relaxing after dinner.
WALTER
Life is fucking... good.
(burp, regarding BRANDON)
Let's talk about making it better.
TONI
Duck, Brandon, here it comes.
WALTER
I've been tracking you since last year.
TONI
Don't let him steamroll you.
WALTER
--Can I get the damn thing out? I want to put John Anthony on
tv this week.
BRANDON
That's me. You mean me.
WALTER
That's right. You, John Anthony. You're one in the same.
TONI
Go on -- get to the good part, Walter.
WALTER
Hold on. Before I say another word, understand -- you do this
thing, Brandon, and from here out you gotta eat, sleep, shit,
breathe, walk, talk and fart John
Anthony. It's not just a new persona.
You can't play it. You gotta live it. That's how this works.
The only way it works. You have to sell it all the way.
TONI
Think it over, Brandon, don't decide now.
BRANDON
It sounds like a promotion.
WALTER
Bet your ass it is. Five-star.
BRANDON
--I'm in.
TONI
Well that's a thoughtful response. Here I was, worried you'd
rush your decision.
BRANDON
It's the only move. For six years I've been living on Ramen
noodles. For the
first time in a long time I've got something going. If that
means I gotta do a little acting, fine.
WALTER
Living, not acting. You understand that as of right now Brandon
Lang with his fettucini knee and his self-fucking pity is as
flat dead as Donald Trump's hair and John "I-can-walk-on-fucking-water"
Anthony has taken his place?
TONI
Listen to what he's asking you, Brandon.
WALTER
She's right. There's no going back. I mean that. This is gonna
cost me. I'm talking about building an empire around you. Do
you understand that?
BRANDON
... Should I wait a little to create some tension? Of course
I understand, I'm John Fucking Anthony. I've got the crystal
ball...
INT. TONI'S SALON - DAY
BRANDON'S FACE FILLS SCREEN. Scissors come in, start cutting.
TONI begins bringing John Anthony to life. BRANDON chatting
her up in the chair, TONI laughing at something he says and --
INT. BARNEY'S MEN'S STORE - DAY
BRANDON (new haircut) stands in private room, modeling a suit.
WALTER nearby, looks through racks of clothes with a SALESMAN.
INT. MERCEDES DEALERSHIP - DAY
BRANDON (new haircut, new suit) walks through the showroom as
WALTER talks with a DEALER.
WALTER
I need a new car for my friend.
DEALER
(to BRANDON)
Do you have any credit?
BRANDON
No.
DEALER
Walter, do you trust him?
WALTER
With my wife naked.
DEALER
(calling to BRANDON)
In that case, which one do you want?
BRANDON comes over, runs his hand over a sleek, silver SL500.
WALTER
I think he likes that one.
EXT. SIXTH AVENUE BAR - DAY
The silver SL500 pulls to the curb. License plate reading "900
KING." A pair of $500 shoes emerge. BRANDON stands on the sidewalk
as the DOORMAN comes up, eyes the car.
Doorman
I'll watch it for you.
(seeing the license plate)
What's "900 King?"
BRANDON
(handing him a card)
I don't lose.
BRANDON heads into the bar, meets WALTER and a group of HEAVY
HITTERS outside. John ANTHONY instantly comes alive and --
INT. TV PRODUCTION HOUSE - NIGHT
BRANDON and WALTER sitting side-by-side, getting made-up.
MAKE-UP ARTIST/to brandon
You're sweating a lot honey.
BRANDON nervously regards himself in the mirror. WALTER sees.
WALTER
You okay?
BRANDON
I'm scared shitless.
WALTER
Don't worry about your lines, it's all scripted. You've been
here before, kid, just think of it like a football game.
BRANDON
This is different.
WALTER
How?
BRANDON
There's no opponent.
WALTER
Perfect, then you're a lock to win.
INT. TV PRODUCTION HOUSE - NIGHT
The CAMERA TRACKS to a talk show-like set dominated by a triangular
table, three chairs and a backdrop bearing a sports-themed logo
and the words - THE SPORTS ADVISORS. BRANDON sits between WALTER
and JERRY, increasingly nervous as the CAMERAS push close. CHUCK
arrives, loud suit, takes a seat at the end of the table, head
down, averting eye contact with everyone.
TECH
30 seconds. Walter, we're not getting your audio.
WALTER
(fumbling with a clipped on mike)
Something's wrong here.
JERRY
(leaning over, plugging in a wire)
Your lead's loose, I got it. I'm talking to the tech guys about
going wireless.
JERRY looks at BRANDON, staring anxiously at the teleprompter.
JERRY
John Anthony, huh? All I see's another wannabee in a 1000-dollar
suit. Word to
the wise, save the clothes you came in.
TECH
Five, four, three, two, one--
(NOTE: WALTER and the PANEL follow text from a teleprompter.)
WALTER
Welcome to this week's edition of The Sports Advisors! America's
premier sports information program with myself, Walter Abrams,
Jerry Sykes, Chuck Adler and a truly gifted newcomer to the
Sports Advisor panel, a substantial find -- John Anthony! We're
entering week six in pro football! This is when the cream rises
to the top! This is when things get hot! It's oven mitt time!
This is big-time ball season so let's get right into it with
the Wizard of Odds -- Jerry "The Source" Sykes! Jerry, what's
the Sykes System predicting for this weekend?
JERRY
Walter, my patented computer models tell me we're looking at
nothing less than the perfect storm of betting opportunities.
But first, last week I cashed in a big-time call on on Chicago
as an outright winner over Indianapolis -- making it my 8th straight
top selection winner right here on this tv show! This Sunday
I have 5 match-ups I absolutely love, including Miami at New
York! Stats, rankings, records, weather, the Sykes System uses
42 proven indexs to eliminate the guesswork from sports wagering.
Without my patented, computer-based picks you have a better
chance of seeing God knocking on your door with five strippers
and a bag of Bolivian cocaine than winning on your own! Call
me for my five games! Absolutely free -- 800-238-6648!
WALTER
Our experts know how to read between the lines, we know how to
analyze a point spread, we're not pulling rabbits out of
a hat here. Certainly not Chuck Adler --
(turning to CHUCK)
Chuck, you'd probably eat that rabbit if you got your hands on
it.
CHUCK
(coming suddenly, wildly alive)
Hell yes -- with a side order of fried bookmaker!!! I'm the
grim reaper of bookmakers! I've put more bookies out of business
than the I.R.S.! How many gamblers did I bail out last weekend
with my game of the year! Denver, a 10-
point underdog beating Cincinatti by two touchdowns! A $100
bettor made $10,000!
CHUCK CON'D
A $500 bettor made $50,000! I've got six games on Sunday I'm
releasing absolutely free! These games are a burial! A blow-out!
A human lock! You can bet your children's unborn children's
children on these six games -- ABSOLUTELY FREE!!!
WALTER
(finger in his ear)
Holy Christ, I forgot my earplugs. Take a break before you blow
a gasket, we'll get back to you after my hearing returns. Saturday
comes before Sunday and looking at this Saturday's college match-ups
is the last but certainly not least member of The Sports Advisors
-- John Anthony!
BRANDON
(reading off the teleprompter)
--John Anthony here, the Million Dollar Man with the billion
dollar plan! From Wall Street to Tokyo to Hollywood, all your
big money stays and plays with me!
(beat, processing this, suddenly going off the teleprompter script)
--Someone wrote some great stuff for me here but the "Million
Dollar Man," I dunno, it sounds kinda small somehow. I mean
maybe if you change that M in million to a Z I could get behind
it. They tried all sorts of names, wanted to call me the Magic
Man -- but picking 80 percent winners sounds pretty scientific
to me. So let's just call me John. I was a quarterback. And
every QB knows the key to victory is anticipating -- the ability
to see the future and react to it. That is what I do, that's
the truth, and what do they say about the truth, Walter?
WALTER
... It bites you on the ass?
BRANDON
Not in my case. You tell us, Jerry.
JERRY
It sets you free?
BRANDON
That's right, but with me it makes you M-O-N-EE! I'm picking
80 percent, is that
unbelievable? Well it used to be. I know the leagues! I know
the players! I
BRANDON CON'D
know the game! I'm your friend on the field! Your insider on
the outside! You can't do what I do if you haven't been there!
Played at the level I have! Maybe you'll get lucky -- guess
right once in a while -- but these match- ups won't be called
consistently by anything other than experience! Forget trends!
Throw out every system you possess! Keep your friends but toss
their opinions out the window! It's time to change I-would-if-I-could
to I-can-and-I-am! You wanna know who I like -- call that little
number at the bottom of your screen!
BRANDON continues. CAMERA on WALTER, watching proudly and --
INT. WALTER AND TONI'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
WALTER walks down the dim hall, looks in on JULIA, sleeping.
INT. WALTER AND TONI'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
Dim darkness. Silence. Then someone bumps into something.
Muffled curse. A light goes on. TONI sits up in bed, sees WALTER
fully dressed, across the room, holding his shoes.
WALTER
I'm not here. Go back to sleep.
TONI
It's four in the morning.
WALTER
(continues to his dresser, manic)
What a show! You should have seen him! I'm sitting there watching
him roll and I swear he made me want to grab a phone and call!
I took the sales boys out to Smith and Wo's. Get 'em primed
for the
weekend. Chuck got drunk, took a swing
at one of the deer heads on the wall.
Just blowing off steam. I'm gonna hire more guys Monday. Put
in more phones. Everything's amping up. It's okay. There's
room. I'll tear down a
few walls, fit another 10 desks down
there easy. I'm gonna do a whole dot-com thing around him!
Oh shit, if I had me when I was his age... I never had a
protege. Someone you hand it all down to. Anything happens
to me, he steps in! Just knowing that, with the thing... I
mean that's just beautiful!
(changing into workout clothes)
Just beautiful.
TONI
What are you doing?
WALTER
Going for a run. See the sunrise. We're doubling volume this
week. And doubling it again after that. He can pick, he can
sell, he's gonna change things around here. He's the real deal.
Knows sports from the inside. That's how he picks. Guy like
him comes along once in a -- a --
TONI
-- 100 years.
WALTER
Yeah, a lifetime.
TONI
Walter, come to bed.
WALTER
Not tired.
TONI
You're exhausted.
WALTER
I'm just gonna run the bridge, up Fifth, circle Central Park,
be back in no time.
TONI
Get in bed. Lie down next to me. Come on. Come here, Walter.
WALTER
Just a quick once-around.
TONI
Roll on your stomach for a minute.
WALTER
Just for a sec. I've gotta meet the trainer tomorrow. Told
me to run. Run in place, or from one place to another...
WALTER lays down. TONI gently massages his back. She leans
in, whispers to him. We sense she's done this before.
TONI
--I know. Of course you do. This is no time to sleep, Walter...
Can't sleep now... Just because you're so tired... Completely,
totally, utterly exhausted... I'll be here when you get back
from your
TONI CON'D
run... Right beside you... You go on now, baby, I'll stay right
here... It's okay... Close your eyes... Just for a second before
you leave... I'm not going anywhere... I'll just hold you--
(quietly crying)
I'll wait right here for you...
TONI'S whisperings become a constant, soothing, mantra. WALTER'S
eyes close. Dressed in sweats and sneakers. Gone. TONI loosens
his laces, covers him with a blanket, slides under the covers.
TONI kills the light. Seen in darkness. Holding WALTER close,
draping a protective arm around and --
INT. SALES ROOM - DAY
A SLEDGE HAMMER smashes through a wall. DELIVERYMEN dolly in
new